(some of this may be a little TMI...and it is long...and picture heavy...you've been warned)
Tuesday
March 4th I woke up like any normal day, to the sounds of "MOMMY,
MOMMY" coming from Miles' room. I got up, got him dressed, fed, and
ready for school. It was Fat Tuesday and he was supposed to dress in
costume for Carnevale and bring a snack to share. Nathan had helped and
we'd cooked mini bagel pizzas the night before (they asked the AMERICAN to bring pizza to the party...funny huh?!)
so I wouldn't have much prep that morning. I had a few contractions
during the hour or so pre-school rush, but didn't think much of them.
After I dropped him off I came home, had breakfast, showered and settled
in for a bit of a rest. Afterall I was 40+ weeks pregnant and sleeping
HORRIBLY and I took every advantage of a quiet house to sneak in a
nap. While I was trying to wade off to sleep I noticed the contractions
weren't stopping. They weren't regular or very intense, but they were
enough of an annoyance for me to wonder if
this could be it. After trying to sleep for an hour I decided I had
better get up and get some things in order, just in case.
I also had to pick Miles up at 12...it was a short day. Apparently
teaching after three hours of partying and pumping kids full of treats
is too much for his teachers, so they sent the kids home early...haha
parents, enjoy! I picked up the house, did the dishes, all while the
contractions began to be a bit more regular and slightly more intense.
When Nathan checked on me later in the morning - which he had started
doing the week previous - I told him about the contractions and that it
*could* be the day, but not to get too excited. At noon I picked Miles
up from school. The nuns and teachers asked how I was feeling and when
I told them I was due the week before they were all surprised I was
still up and about...and all commented on the size of my "giant belly" (their words).
I wished them all good afternoon and see you tomorrows. I got Miles
home and down for a nap, and I made a list of everything I wanted to do
that afternoon. My brain was growing fuzzy from contractions and
functioning on a lack of sleep. Nathan got home and saw me pausing to
breathe through contractions while vacuuming and realized I was sort of
in panic mode. He saw my list and without a word, jumped in to help. I
had wanted our house to be clean when we went to have the baby...so we
would come home to a clean house. But keeping a house clean with a
toddler, a husband, and two cats is tricky! Litter box, water fountain,
dishes, laundry, bathrooms, etc, etc, etc. I was worried the
contractions would stall out or stop, so Nathan and I went about trying
to seal the deal...if you know what I mean. Within about 20 minutes (6pm Tuesday) they picked up intensity and had regulated to about 3-4 minutes apart.
We
had made plans to BBQ that night for dinner with our friend Greg, and I
didn't want to cancel. Plus the hospital doesn't want to see you until
you've been having contractions 4 minutes apart for 2 hours. Shortly
after 6 Greg walks in and first thing he says is "you had that baby yet?"...and
he is surprised when I tell him I've been having contractions all day.
We BBQ our brats and hot dogs, and I eat in-between contractions,
keeping them timed on my phone. By 8pm I realized they weren't going
anywhere...we told Greg he had to go and we called Lina & Mimmo (our Italian "parents") and
told them we were going to bring Miles over and head to the hospital.
Nathan ran him over and I grabbed a few last minute things, and went
around the house to turn off all our electronics, lock all our windows,
and make sure I hadn't forgotten anything.
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| Saying
good-bye to Miles before daddy took him to Lina & Mimmo's. I wept,
knowing our lives would never be the same and his little world was
about to be rocked. |
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| Getting monitored night #1 |
We
got to the hospital and I got hooked up to the monitors. After an
hour of monitoring and an internal check the nurses told me I was still only 2cm dilated and baby wasn't engaged
at all...so they couldn't keep me. They told me I could walk around
the base to try to move things along and then come back and they'd check
me again...but the thought of wandering the base at midnight didn't
appeal to me so we went home. I also knew I'd been 2cm dilated for
three weeks and a couple hours of walking was unlikely to change
things...given all we'd done in the three previous weeks to move things
along. I cried the whole way home...wincing in pain through the
contractions as Nathan tried to navigate the super bumpy roads on our 40
minute drive.
We
decided to leave Miles at Lina & Mimmo's for the night so I could
try and rest, and in case we needed to leave again. We got home and I
thought I'd try to sleep...that was impossible. The contractions were
now 2 mins apart and tough enough that I couldn't talk through them.
Slow, deep breathing....in, out, in, out...is all I could do to get
relief. I took several searing hot showers, they seemed to help a
little...or at least they distracted me enough to seem like they
helped. As the night and morning wore on, the contractions slowly moved
from 2-3 mins apart to 4-5 and then 6-8...still strong and rhythmic,
just further apart. In all those hours I never slept longer than the
minutes in-between contractions. I called the OB office at noon, and
my doc called back at 4. I begged him in tears
for a magic pill that would make things go. He told me I could come in
and get checked, but if I wasn't 4cm they wouldn't admit me...as it
would be best to stay and labor at home. He was very compassionate and
told me he wished there was something he could do...and told me he was
sure what I was going through would eventually lead to delivery, but
could last for a couple days to a week. I hung up feeling totally defeated.
I knew we could drive back up right then and be checked...but I also
knew if we did and I was still 2cm, the drive home a second time would
break me. I didn't want to go back until I was 100% sure
they would let me stay. I sobbed in bed praying that something would
happen to let me know when it was time to go. I decided a warm bath
would help me calm down a bit. As I stepped into the tub I noticed a
couple small drops trickle down my leg...they were yellowish brown and I
thought "I need to drink more water, I must be really dehydrated".
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| Mario checking on me during my bath |
After
the bath I settled back into bed and sobbed through contractions for
another 5 hours. They were now so erratic. Some were coming 2 mins
apart and others would wait 15 minutes. But they were long...60-90
seconds...and intense. I tearfully pleaded to God for him to intervene...I
couldn't do it alone anymore. At 10pm I had a contraction that made me
see stars...it was over two minutes and the most painful one yet.
After it finished I felt a small trickle and thought "oh great, in addition to all this now I peed myself".
I rolled out of bed to go change my undies and a little more came out.
Three steps to the hallway and then a LOT came out, soaked the pad I
was wearing, and ran down my leg (thank heavens for tile floors!).
I yelled for Nathan and told him I thought my water just broke. I
pulled down my pants and checked, but it wasn't what I expected. It
wasn't the clear, sweet smelling liquid many of my google searches had
told me to expect. It was yellowish brown and full of floaters...and it
stunk. (sorry...I warned you about this being TMI).
I called Labor & Delivery and told them, they said it could be that
baby had pooped in the womb, but that it definitely sounded like my
water broke and to come in to get checked out.
We got in the car and made the 40 minute drive back to the base. That drive was rough...the
contractions were now every 2-8 minutes and quite painful. And Italy
doesn't pave roads very well...poor Nathan probably felt like he was
navigating through roadside bombs. We got back to Labor & Delivery,
got an exam and they ran an AmnioSure test (the same one I had back at 34 weeks)
to see if my water had broken. The test came back negative - meaning
my water hadn't broken - but the nurse was confused because she was
seeing what was CLEARLY amniotic fluid with meconium constantly
leaking. They called my doctor to have him come over and consult...it
was now 1am. I joked with him when he walked in the room that he should
have had me come in at 4 that afternoon. He did a cervical check and I
was 4cm, 50% effaced and baby was at -2 station.
That plus the fact that my water had broken was enough for them to
admit me. He grabbed the ultrasound to check fluid levels and the
baby's position. Fluids were fine, baby was sunny-side up. That would
mean a tougher delivery...but there was still a chance the contractions
could flip her. The meconium wasn't too much of a concern, but it
definitely put an "expiration date" on how long I could labor before they worried about infection.
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| Getting monitored night #2 |
My contractions were still varying at 2-6 minutes apart. I got to our room, and the nurses and corpsmen (like nurse assistants...Navy lingo) went about trying to get an IV in me. Ya...I have got some bad veins. It took four of them an hour and six needle sticks and two
blown valves to get an IV in place. They started me on fluids and a
little bit of morphine...which was such a welcome thing after having
contractions for 32 hours with only Tylenol and hot showers to soothe
the pain.
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| 2:15am - Admitted & IV'd. |
They
encouraged me to be up and walk, or use the yoga ball to let gravity
help move the baby down...and the doc said he'd be back in a few hours
to check my progress.
At
6am I was checked and had dilated to a 6, was now 80% effaced but baby
was still at -2. We talked a little about epidurals but I wanted to
keep going without one. I was handling the pain well enough with
breathing and I didn't want to jump to the epidural too quickly. My
doctor and the nurses all told me I was doing so great with the pain, they thought I could definitely go all the way without anything but morphine if I wanted.
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| Awesome socks huh? |
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| Jello for breakfast - yummy!! |
For
the next three hours I rocked on that yoga ball or stood swaying
through the contractions that were now 2-4 minutes apart and 90 seconds
long. At 9am I talked to Nathan about maybe getting the epidural. I had hit a wall. I had been up for close to 50 hours and I knew once it came time to push it was going to be difficult
to get her out because of her position and I would need my strength.
With an epidural I could take a bit of a nap and rest up. I was hoping
the past three hours of tough contractions had put me to a 7 or 8 and
baby was a bit more engaged so I wouldn't have long until it would be
time to push. We told the nurses I wanted the epidural and they had the
doctor come in for an exam first...to see where we were. 6cm and 80%
effaced, -2 station. Still. Three hours of hard labor hadn't changed a thing...in
that moment I knew choosing to have an epidural was the right choice.
The doctor suggested pitocin to help increase the intensity of the
contractions and encourage baby to descend a bit more and move things
along. So I got hooked up with both the epidural and pitocin at around
9:30am.
We had wanted to keep it quiet
when we went to the hospital. We didn't want to be one of those people
who posted cervical updates on Facebook...no offence if that's you,
it's just not how we wanted to do it. We had told my mom, two of my
closest friends, and Lina & Mimmo...and that was it. It worked
splendidly at first. But now it was Thursday morning and Nathan was
supposed to be taking his advancement exam and was missing a second day
of work. And his work is a rumor mill...news travels fast. I worried
that someone from Nathan's work would post something on Facebook and our
family would see it and worry...so we headed it off and Nathan posted
that we were 39 hours into labor and baby wasn't here yet. We also
figured a few extra prayers and positive thoughts couldn't hurt.
Getting the epidural was not fun. The contractions were so painful by then that I was shaking...and the (super nice) anesthesiologist hit a nerve that sent lightning bolts of pain
over the entire left side of my body. But once it was in and I laid
down, it started kicking in and I felt amazing. I was able to nap for
the next few hours. Nurses would come in and adjust the monitors, up
the pitocin dosage, and ask how I was doing. About 2pm I couldn't sleep
through the contractions anymore...even with the epidural. They hurt
enough to wake me up. Then I started throwing up.
The nurse offered to get me something for the nausea...but did tell me
that the throwing up was contracting my stomach too and could be helpful
to move baby lower. So I toughed it out and just kept throwing up. I
cried to Nathan. I was miserable...and exhausted.
I was wondering about a c-section but didn't know what to do. I said a
silent prayer that after the doctor checked me the answer would be
obvious. At 3pm my doctor came in to check on how things were going.
He did a cervical check...still 6cm, 80% effaced and -2 station...and
baby had bent my cervix. Six hours of pitocin had done nothing to move things along. I had my answer. He told me they could keep going, up the dose, or talk about other options. "Just take her out" I tearfully pleaded.
That
started a whirlwind of activity. Forms to sign, new meds, moved to an
operating room, a suit for Nathan. It happened so quickly. I was
amazed at how smooth and coordinated the whole process was, it was like a
ballet. Both of the OB docs were on hand for the c-section. They got
me in and prepped, strapped down and the blue curtain up. The doc
started cutting - I hate the smell of cauterizing flesh - and Nathan
came in and sat at my head. At 3:52pm on Thursday March 6th, after 46 hours of labor sweet Amelia was born.
She cried. They had warned me before that she might not cry, and they
wouldn't encourage her to because of the meconium...so not to worry if
she didn't. That cry was the sweetest sound and immediately brought me
to tears.
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| Hearing her cry. |
Upon her exit both doctors commented on how she "never would have come out"
because of her head, shoulders, and position. Nathan went to the other
side of the room to see her and take pictures. They couldn't show her
to me right away...they had to make sure she hadn't inhaled any of the
meconium.
He
came back to show me the pictures of our beautiful, chubby princess. I
couldn't suppress the tears, I was so relieved for it to be over and
for her to be here safe and sound. They cleaned her off and a nurse
brought her over to me. I kissed that soft cheek as the tears fell.
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| Meeting my little sweetheart |
I
started getting very dizzy and I was having trouble speaking. It
scared me and frightened Nathan. Adjustments were made to my meds and
they had Nathan leave to accompany Amelia to the nursery. I must have
drifted to sleep...or passed out because in what seemed like only a of
couple minutes they were moving me to a bed and pushing me down the hall
to recovery. Recovery was rough. I was so nauseous and I was shaking
non-stop. They gave me something for the nausea and Demerol for the
shaking. Nathan, in the meantime, was back in our room waiting for me.
I was in recovery for two hours.
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| While
I was in recovery our doctor came to check on Amelia. We LOVE him - he
is such a great doctor. He makes me want to try and get pregnant again
right now...just to keep him as my doctor. |
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| Holding Amelia for the first time. |
At
6pm I was wheeled back into our room and I got to hold my daughter for
the first time. What a tender moment that was. We tried nursing, which
she took to like a fish to water. Then we were flooded with nurses and
corpsmen getting us settled, drugged, and checked. Dinner was brought
in, and that was THE BEST Salisbury steak I've ever had...after not
eating anything but some crackers Tuesday afternoon and a Jello cup
Wednesday I was starving. That night was filled with checks and pain
killers, and baby snuggles, and intermittent sleep.
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| Exhausted, but so happy |
Friday
morning the nurses got me up, to the bathroom, and cleaned up.
Brushing my teeth and hair and that baby wipe "shower" felt amazing.
Lina
& Mimmo brought Miles up shortly after, and it was so good to see
him. When he walked into the room it looked as if he'd grown a foot in
the last three days. He was not interested in baby sister at all...but
he was very concerned for mommy. Nathan had told him mommy had an owie
and he had to be very gentle. It broke my heart not to be able to pick him up and snuggle him...he's my little momma's boy.
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| Lina & Mimmo...our Italian family. |
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| My big boy |
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| Me with the kiddos...my poor swollen legs. |
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| Drawing Miles did for Baby Sister |
He
left and we napped a bit more. A couple friends came by that
afternoon, but we were left alone for the most part...which was nice to
have time to bond with her, and nap, and recover from the long few days
we'd had.
Saturday morning I got a real shower and it was the best shower of my life.
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| Amelia and the other OB...he was on call over the weekend and was the one checking up on us. |
Saturday
was busy, filled with visitors and doctor check-ups, and by evening I
was ready for sleep so when the nurses offered to "watch her" for us for
a few hours we gladly took them up on it and got almost 4 hours of
uninterrupted sleep.
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| Squishy
cheeks! You can also see the little nick on her cheek - her battle
would from the c-section. Doc feels HORRIBLE about it...especially
since I'd given him a hard time the week before about not slicing into
the baby if I needed a c-section. |
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| Not
the best picture but you can see how much hair she has...on the back
and sides and crown. She's just got fuzz up on top...we joke and call
it a Dr Phil haircut |
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| Walking the loop around the maternity ward Saturday night. |
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| the staff |
Sunday morning after breakfast we started the checkout process and we were home by about 3pm.
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| Headed home |
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| Amelia with all the flowers people brought us in the hospital, the quilt mommy made her, and her bassinet name banner. |
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| Our
landlords had decorated the gate, our door, and the stairwell with pink
balloons. They also had a pan of pasta warm from the oven and a tray
of tirimisu for us to eat. |
A family of four (I have yet to get a picture of the four of us together...).
We cuddled on the couch and read stories to Miles. I had multiple
moments where I couldn't believe this was our life. There were times in
our past where we wondered if we'd ever be parents, and now, here we
were sitting on the couch with our TWO beautiful miracle children. We
are very blessed.
Just for fun, here is a picture of Amelia (center) with Nathan (right) and I's (left) baby pictures...just for comparison.
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| Holly - Amelia - Nathan |
