Blue or Pink...what do you think?!

Last week we gathered with our closest friends (those who live here) and our Italian family to find out the gender of Baby W.  I had my anatomy scan appointment that morning and we told our ultrasound tech that we wanted to know the gender but we didn't want her to tell us.  We wanted her to write it down and put it in an envelope.  The day before the appointment I had made a huge bag of pink and a huge bag of blue confetti; after the appointment we took those bags, along with the sealed envelope, to the florist shop on base.  We told her to open it and if it said "girl" to put the pink confetti in the balloons and if it said "boy" to use the blue confetti.  About 30 minutes later we picked up 15 black balloons filled with confetti and took them home.  It was so hard having them sit in the living room, knowing they held a secret that I could easily discover if I would just pop one.  But I figured I had waited 20 weeks (well...in actuality about 9 years) so I could wait a few more hours.  

Nathan and I picked up the house, got the stuff ready for the party, then snagged a quick cat-nap before we picked Miles up from school.  

Our guests started showing up around 5:45.  As they showed up we took a poll:

At 6:15 we Facetime'd my mom so she could see it live.  Then we passed out the balloons and pins...

Becky was our official mom "FaceTimer"

And counted to three...and POP

Baby W is a GIRL!!!

If you want to watch the video:

Race for the Cure - Roma

As soon as I ran my first 5K I started looking for more to run.  It is tricky here in Italy...races are harder to come by.  But lucky for me the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure was held in Rome this past weekend.  Two friends and I woke at the crack of dawn, drove up to Rome, ran the race, grabbed lunch, and then drove home.  Seriously how lucky are we?!  

Here are some pics:

You were supposed to write words of encouragement on this banner...I wrote "You are stronger than you know"

Waiting in the starting line...this race is the LARGEST Susan G Komen race in the world!  Over 60,000 people participated.

Waiting for the race to start. 

I stopped mid-race to snap a pic as I ran past the Colosseum. 

I'm not exactly sure what my time was...the race started at 10, but EVERYONE started then...walkers and runners.  It took us 12-14 minutes just to make our way to the starting line.  And then the race course was a bit longer than a 5K.  But my pace was faster than my Glow in the Dark 5K so I was happy.  It was very cool to be running again, and I am amazed by the things my body is being capable of...things I thought I'd never be able to do again.  

My next race is June 29th...a mud run with my sister-in-laws.  I'm pretty excited!! 

Glow in the Dark 5K

Tonight I did something I never thought I'd ever be able to do again...run a race.  Even as I sit here and type that sentence I get teary.  Running was something I enjoyed for so many years, and then I let it fall my the wayside when my weight started to creep up.  With the added weight my knees and ankles ached at even the thought of a run.  But then I was inspired by the changes I saw in a few friends.  I made some decisions, some massive lifestyle changes, started Isagenix, and decided to take my life back.  

As I pushed the last 100 yards of the race tonight, my body was telling me to stop.  My lungs were aching and my right knee was throbbing; but I pushed through and crossed the finish line running.  The final stretch there were people along the course cheering you on, telling you the end was close...you were almost there.  I felt enormous pride in this thing I was doing.  This thing that I thought was so far out of reach for me.  

I am proud of my hard work.  It hasn't been easy, that's for sure.  And there have been many moments where I thought "this is good enough" but I kept pushing and I'm glad I did.  My only regret is that I waited until last summer to start...I should have started earlier.  So if there are any of you out there who want to change something...whatever it is...do it.  Today.   Make a change today - whether it is large or small - that will get you closer to your goal. 

Thank you to those who have encouraged me on my journey...now bring on the next race! 

And now for the pics:

Me and my biggest fan...pre-race.

The girls...yes those are tutus...and yes we ran in them. :)

Me and Becca...about 2/3 of the way through

All done - we got our finisher medals!

Small, small world

About a week ago I got an email from Denise, who I worked with at the Newport County Chamber of Commerce.  She and her husband were going to be in Italy for a couple weeks touring the country and wanted to see if it was possible to try and meet up.  I of course JUMPED at the chance to see a friend...(especially seeing as how NO ONE has come visit us yet *cough*fayedawn*cough*)...and we found a day/time/location that would work.  

Nathan got home from work on Monday and we drove an hour to Vietri to meet for dinner.  

It was SO great to see them again...they haven't aged a day!!

I finally got a pic of something that happens ALL. THE. TIME. here in Italy.  Everyone loves Miles (seriously...LOVES...as in gives kisses, grabs out of my arms, walks off to show their family, loves) and wherever we go new people are welcomed into the fan club.  Usually at restaurants he is taken back into the kitchen and shown off like a prize puppy...and we hear "bellissimo" about a thousand times (it means beautiful in Italian).  So at dinner, this elderly woman grabbed Miles' on his chair and pulled him over to her table and proceeded to "play" cards with him.  Then one of the cooks came out and joined in on the fun.  

Poor Miles is going to have quite the adjustment when we move back to the US and he isn't mauled by throngs of adoring fans everywhere we go.

Girl's day!!

I have always been a fan of the girl's day...or evening...or afternoon really.  Just anytime ladies get together sans hubbies and kidlets.  Especially if food is involved.  :)  Being a Navy spouse is difficult at times.  We leave friends every few years and because most of them are also military spouses they are moving around so we know there is very little chance we will see each other again (thank heavens for email, Facebook, twitter, Instagram and Skype!!)  But it is amazing how you can form quick, solid friendships with these Navy-attached women...because we're all in the same boat and we all know how important friendships are to help you feel grounded!

On April 2nd a few Navy Band wives spent the day in Vietri sul Mare...I'd been once already and knew it would be the perfect place for a day with the girls.

Meet my ladies: this is up in the little town center, the Amalfi Coast is what's behind us...pretty, eh?

L to R: Stephanie, me, Christy, Jessica & Mel

Beach combing. 

In Vietri, there are loads of ceramic shops.  I'm guessing people throw their old/defective ceramics into the sea and that's how the beach gets covered with sea tile.  It's similar to sea glass, it's just pieces of tile that have been washed and rubbed smooth.  I collected more to add to my stash for the mosaic table top.  Stephanie found quite a lot...but didn't bring a plastic bag to put it in...so she used the next best thing: her Dooney & Burke purse.  Seriously.

Here is the view from the beach looking back up to the town on the hill...the Amalfi coast is to the left.  It's so pretty...I could stay here forever.  

After beach combing we did a little economy stimulation...afterall we want to be good citizens of Italy!  :)  Here is Mel perusing one of the dozens of ceramic shops.

After we'd spent money we grabbed some lunch:

Ladies who lunch

And because I love taking pictures of my food:

caprese salad

fried calamari & prawns

Here were a couple of my souvenirs from our trip:

An olive wood serving platter

A sign for Winston...it says 'beware of cat"

Hiking a volcano

Yup, you read that right.  Here in Italy we live on what's called the Phlegraean Fields. It's basically a big land mass sitting ontop of some volcanically active earth.    Yay.  As if earthquakes and robbers and weird Italian diseases weren't enough to make me worry now we're living on a volcano.  Seriously...ON.  Our house in on the slope of an inactive volcano.  Let's just say I've had some pretty vivid dreams of me trying to outrun lava flows.

Anyway...let's please change the subject.

We had heard that there are some pretty amazing hikes on our volcano (if I call it "our" it seems less threatening) so we decided to try one out.  It was quite the adventure...and that's because we are hiking idiots.  You think I'd know better having grown up in Utah...hiking for the better part of my life, but no.  We ended up taking the SUPER long, difficult route.  Which I guess burned off more calories...so whatever...but it was TOUGH.  And if we had gone the "correct" way we never would have come across this about 1/3 of the way up to the rim:

Inside the building was one large room with a pillar in the middle.  This picture shows you half of it...imagine another half this size.  It kinda made me want to get rollerskates and skate around it like I was back at Classic Skating in 8th grade.  Maybe some other time...

 Miles was quite happy as long as he had a stick in his hand.  I love that Miles and Nathan are making the EXACT same face in this photo!

 

Hiking Feet

 At the rim of the volcano there is a monastery...or church...it depends on who you ask.  But it is inhabited...there are signs posted asking you to be silent on the premises. 

This is the view looking back into the crater.  Yes, that's a golf course.  :)  There is also a pool, a paintball course, yurts, soccer fields and a few baseball diamonds. 

At the rim...in front of the monastery.  Don't worry we said cheese VERY quietly.  

Our friend Stephanie came on the hike with us. 

I took a few videos...if ya feel like watching them. They're short...and Miles is in them :)

And another:
 

Miles helping lead the way down:

National Infertility Awareness Week

So it's National Infertility Awareness Week.  I've been mulling over in my mind what kind of post to write to help spread the theme for this year.  As you can see from the pretty little graphic above, the "theme" for this year...or I guess you'd call it message.  Ya, let's go with message...is 'don't IGNORE infertility.' For a while I thought about talking to women who are struggling to get pregnant...to not ignore the signs and get to a doctor quicker.  But that didn't seem right.  And then I knew just what to do, which angle to use.  

Don't

ignore

your

infertile

friends.

I don't know what it's like to be a fertile woman...one who gets pregnant "folding her hubby's underwear".  I don't know what it would feel like to have great news to share with someone that you KNOW will be hurt by your news.  I don't know what that's like...but I do know what it's like to lose friends over infertility.  I've had more than one friend decide the uncomfortable "we're pregnant...again" talk was so bad they'd rather throw away a friendship and just ignore me.  I understand the logic...sort of.  You don't want to hurt someone you love so you hold off on telling them something that will hurt them.  But can I tell you something?  They'll find out eventually.  And when they do it will hurt worse that they heard from someone else, or via a Facebook status update, or a tweet, or a mass email.  So put on your grown-up panties, suck it up and have the hard discussion.  You can send a personal note, an email, make a phone call, or tell them in person.  You know her better than I do...and everyone is different.  I preferred to hear in a personal email, or a quick phone call; then I could cry in the privacy of my home.  There will be tears.  There are always tears.  If you don't see them, she's good...but she'll cry them later.  Not tears of anger towards you, but tears of sadness and unfairness and frustration.  But I promise you she will LOVE you and cherish your friendship more because she will know you took the effort to be mindful of her feelings. 

If you have a friend or sister or sister-in-law or cousin who is close to you...and she is struggling with infertility and you LOVE her and value the love and friendship you share... Don't ignore her infertility.  Don't ignore her.  Don't ignore your friendship. 

If you want to read some of my infertility history..go HERE.

Hoping to Adopt: Que, Brittany & Liam

Wanna hear something funny about this one?  I had never met Brittany in person until just a few months ago...at the National FSA Conference.  I had been staking her blog for a while..then it went private and I was too chicken to ask for an invite.  Then it was public again, I friended her on Facebook and we became adoption peeps.  She posts a lot about adoption - and I always appreciate her insights.  But I'd read her blog anyway...just for pics of their adorable little Liam...he is a stud.  

We are Que and Brittany and we met as teenagers in 1995.  In 1998, Que left to be an LDS missionary in Bolivia and we wrote each other for two years.  When he returned, we married in the spring of 2001.  In 2009, our son Liam came into our family through the miracle of adoption!  He will always know how much his birth family loves him.  Right now, we are hoping to adopt, again!  We have an open adoption with several members of Liam's birth family and hope to have another open adoption.  (Although we are willing to be matched with a birth family who wants little or no contact with us.)  Check out our blog to learn more about us as a family, Liam's adoption or just to find out what-in-the-world is up with Que's name.  :)  We'd love to have you stop by!

Que & Brittany 

Adoption is about love!
Check out our blog and spread the word to help our family grow!
queandbrittany.blogspot.com

Hoping to Adopt: Dustinn, Valery, Bradshaw & Olivia

I met Dustinn and Valery last September at an FSA Activity.  They had recently moved to the area and wanted to find some adoption friends.  We had just experienced the loss of the twins and Valery was SO supportive and kind.  Over the last year we've spent more time together, and the more we get to know them, the more we love them!  They are fantastic parents to their two children: Bradshaw & Olivia and I know additional children will be given the same love and attention.  

Hellooooo,

We are Dustinn-Val-Bradshaw-Olivia, a family hoping to grow through the miracle of adoption!  As a family we have a lot of fun playing at the beach, riding bikes, and wrestling. Dustinn and Val met in college and have been married 7 years. Bradshaw is 4, Olivia is 2, and they do everything together--including get in to mischief together. Bradshaw remembers when we were blessed to adopt Olivia, so he prays at night that we'll adopt a little brother/sister to play with.

We live in the suburbs of Chicago in what we consider the best of all worlds.  :)  We have the urban experience of being able to walk to anything your heart desires (craft store, Parisienne bakery, theater, sushi, libraries) while only living two blocks from the beach!  

We love life and cherish every day with Bradshaw and Olivia.    

If you know an expectant parent considering adoption and think that our family may be a good match, please welcome them to contact us or find out more: 

Check out our profile on LDS Family Services here.
Check out our adoption blog (work in progress) here.
Or email: dustinnandvalery@gmail.com

with love,
Dustinn, Valery, Bradshaw & Olivia

Hoping to Adopt: Michael & Michelle

I met this couple one year ago when they attended our Walk for Adoption.  Michelle expressed an interest in helping with this year's Walk and we took her up on her offer.  We became friends and have enjoyed having them as a part of our adoption circle of friends.  They are both very kind, fun people and they will make fantastic parents.  I have also had the pleasure of meeting some of their extended family and they are wonderful!  They are all VERY supportive of Michael & Michelle's hope to adopt.  

We are Michael and Michelle and we are a fun, family-oriented couple hoping to build our family through adoption!  We have so much love to offer and cannot wait to raise a family. 

We have been together since 1999 and have been married since 2002. Our personalities complement each other.  We are different in many ways, but that seems to bring out the best in each of us. Michael is friendly and outgoing, Michelle is reserved and nurturing.  Michael is analytical and Michelle is creative.  Michael likes to tear things down and Michelle likes to create things and make them pretty.  We are constantly learning new things from each other.

We like going to Chicago White Sox games.  We bowl in a mixed league on Wednesday nights, but aren’t on the same team (Michael tells everyone it’s because he wants to win).  We go to the movies and love going to concerts with our friends.  We like to take road trips and have also traveled to Hawaii, New Orleans and the Dominican Republic.  We also enjoy going to plays at the local theater.  We can't wait to share our interests with our children!

We are really looking forward to adopting a baby!  We hope to be able to share with them their adoption story and make it part of our family's story.  We cannot wait to share our faith, our interests, our values and our love with a child.

http://michaelandmichelleadopt.blogspot.com/

Kindness of strangers

I should have shared this a couple months ago...better late than never, right?  

Remember back in March when I announced that we were going to do a fundraiser for adoption?  We had a few people volunteer to take bottles...one of which was our friend Carrie.  Now the interesting thing about our friendship with her is that we've only met twice...for a few hours total.   Her volunteering surprised me, here was someone who barely knew us, but yet who wanted to help us.  I packaged a bottle and shipped it off to Vermont.  I later learned that she took it to her church and shared our hope to adopt with her entire congregation.  Fast forward to October when we got an envelope in the mail with the return address of Vermont.  Inside we found a check from Carrie's church.  Instantly the tears welled up in my eyes as I thought of a congregation full of people, thousands of miles away who donated to our cause.  Other than Carrie, we had never met any of them, yet they generously gave to someone they'd never met all because they wanted to help.  Inside the card, the members of the congregation had written well wishes to us...again, another act of kindness.

Sometimes the world can seem so cold and mean.  I think it's always good to hear about people doing nice things for others, it restores our faith in humanity. 

And as for the congregation that meets in that picturesque church in Vermont, their kindness means more than they will ever know.  Their kind and generous hearts have helped make our adoption hopes one step closer to reality.  They are a wonderful example of true followers of Christ.

30 Days of Thankful: Recap

So whilst I've been bombarding you with adoption related posts, I've also been doing my 30 Days of Thankful.  Throughout the month you could find it on the 30 Days of Thankful Tab on the top menu...see up there?...to the right a little more...there you go.   But just in case you missed it here are my 30 Days of Thankful 2010:

Nov 1 - Adoption.  I'm grateful that I live in a day and age where adoption is a widely accepted practice.  In years past Nathan and would have probably not had the chance to raise children.  Yay for modern times!

Nov 2 -  Drugs.  The legal kind.  I've been battling a nasty bug for over a week and without the decongestant I think I would have just given up and stayed in bed for a week. 

Nov 3 - Free Pie Wednesday.  Baker's Square is a restaurant that offers a free slice of pie with the purchase of anything on their menu...the offer is good Wednesday evenings.  Guess where we were tonight??  Yep...you guessed it.  I got pumpkin, Nathan got apple.  Yummy!

Nov 4 - My friend Christy.  A year ago we had this big idea to plan Chicago's 1st ever Walk for Adoption.  It has been quite the undertaking and we've grown to be good friends through this planning. Tonight I spent the evening at her house stuffing swag bags and chatting about life and adoption.  I'm grateful to have a friend that "gets it".

Nov 5 - Early Days.  I work 6 days a week...which I am NOT thankful for, but two of those six days I only work a half a shift so I get off early and today is one of those days!  Hooray!

Nov 6 - Good Weather.  The Walk was today and I had been praying, hoping and crossing fingers that we would not have a snow filled day.  It was chilly today, but the sun was out and it was beautiful!

Nov 7 - Mom.  Today was a rough day.  I was up late last night doing stuff for Primary and had to get up early to finish it.  Then my printer was giving me problems and I was running 40 mins late for church.  I got a couple upsetting emails and by the time I got out the door I was teetering on the verge of an emotional/physical/spiritual/mental breakdown.  I called my mom and she calmed me right down. 

Nov 8 - Time in the Kitchen.  We had some friends over for dinner tonight so I planned a nice, big meal.  I cooked a Portobello roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, acorn squash, rolls, a green salad, pumpkin pie and apple/cranberry pie.  Oh, and homemade whipped cream.  Yummy. 

Nov 9 - Uneventful Work Days.  Today at work nothing broke.  Nothing caught fire.  There was no yelling, no hair pulling, no major drama.  It was boring...and terrific!  [[knocks on wood]]

Nov 10 - Christmas Candy.  I know, it's shallow.  But I LOVE Christmas candy.  Lindt Dark Chocolate Peppermint truffles, Wonka gummy sweettarts, Danish Butter Cookies, mint M&M's, you name it...if it's red and green and sweet count me in!  I think I might be over indulging in the Christmas Candy because we won't be putting up a tree this year because of the move.   I gotta get the holiday spirit in our home somehow. 

Nov 11 - Veterans.  I'm grateful for those brave men and women who have served and are serving our country.  I am especially grateful for my hubby, my grandfather Parley and my late neighbor George Sant. 

Nov 12 - Supportive Hubby.  I had an appointment downtown today and after it was all over I got to spend the day with my hubby.  It's been a tough week and when I told him I wanted to drive to Aurora (about an hour and 15 mins) to go to the Lindt outlet he didn't try and talk me out of it (which is what he usually tries to do when my desires involve candy and treats...he's the voice of reason).


Nov 13 - Goodwill.  I love to read.  But buying books new from Borders or Barnes and Noble can add up really quick.  So I love that my favorite Goodwill has a large book selection...and they are $0.89!!  I'm grateful I have an option to get books for so cheap.  I scored today - I got five books I've been wanting to read.  Can't wait to dive in!

Nov 14 - Afternoon naps.  Even though I had to work today and I hate working on Sundays...I got home early enough to sneak in an afternoon nap with Winston.

Nov 15 - Feeling Appreciated.  This week is Employee Appreciation Week at my work.  The owners of our company are having lunch catered every day...and some days breakfast too!  There will be contests and raffles and lots of snacks.  It is always good to feel appreciated. 

Nov 16 - Opportunities to be creative.  I got to design a crazy hat to wear to work today...and I won second place in the competition!

Nov 17 - Perspective.  I have been looking forward to today for a while...well, since last year's November 17th actually.  I got my hopes up and when our miracle didn't happen I was admittedly very sad.  I posted on facebook about my mood and a friend commented and helped me keep faith by offering her wonderful perspective. 

Nov 18 - My hard working hubby.  Today Nathan was honored for all his hard work.  He was selected as Sailor of the Year.  I'm grateful that Nathan works so hard so that we can enjoy the life we do.

Nov 19 - Date nights.  We went to see Harry Potter tonight.  Mom also treated us to dinner in celebration of Nathan's award.  We tried out a new place called Stir Crazy and it was excellent!

Nov 20 -Deep Fryer.  A couple months ago Nathan and I got a new deep fryer.  We've been trying out different things and tonight we made Cajun Garlic Fries (like Five Guys has) and they were awesome...and SO much cheaper than Five Guys' Fries!

Nov 21 - Speaking in church.  Nathan and I were asked to talk in church today because we're moving soon.  I was asked to speak on Faith and it was EXACTLY what I needed to study the last few days.

Nov 22 - Winston.  He always seems to know when my mood is just not quite perky and he'll do his best to lift it by snuggling to me.  Love that little gray fluffer. 

Nov 23 - No Snow.  Friends and family got snow today and while I would love to be stuck at home with a cup of cocoa and a book during a snowstorm...that would not be my reality if it were to storm.  I would be stuck behind the wheel of my car, for likely near two hours, fighting idiot drivers all the way to work.  So I'm glad that the snow stayed away...at least for now.

Nov 24 - Red Box.  I mean seriously...$1!  to rent a movie?!?  Nathan and I are converts to Red Box (former Blockbuster movie renters...now I cringe to think we paid THAT MUCH to rent movies)...we saw the light shortly after we moved here and have been in love ever since.  If you haven't tried out your local Red Box...you should give it a whirl!

Nov 25 - The Hardys.  We live far from family so holidays are always tough.  Our friends Jason and Kat Hardy invited us to spend Thanksgiving with them and Jason's parents, which we were very grateful for because it meant we wouldn't have to spend the holiday alone.

Nov 26 - Black Friday Deals & a shopper hubby.  Today I drug Nathan out Black Friday Shopping.  We didn't do it for people on our gift list...we did it for us.  Now wait before you call me horribly selfish.  There have been some things on our "wish list" for quite a while, but they are usually so expensive that we couldn't justify getting them.  So we took advantage of some wicked sweet deals today and picked up some of the things on our list.  So what'd we score?  THESE sheets...for $44 (regularly $179!) and THIS down comforter for $30 (regularly $169!).  We also picked up a 6' ladder for $14 bucks and a slow cooker for $10.  I am also grateful that I have a hubby who is willing to spend all day with me fighting crowds and waiting in lines.  He also let me go to TWO Jo-Ann's Fabrics stores AND DSW.

Nov 27 - Hubby with a strong stomach.  We hit up IKEA today...looking for a stand for our TV and while we were there we took advantage of their (previously always awesome) meatball and mash  potato lunch.  It wasn't within only an hour or so I was violently ill.  The muscles around my stomach and ribcage were so sore the next day from all the heaving (sorry if that's TMI).  While I was having my one-on-one date with the porcelain, my sweet hubby stood watch over me...rubbing tiny circles on my back.  I know I could never have done that for him...my gag reflex would have had me down on the floor with him.  That simple gesture showed so much kindness and made a yucky situation a little better.

Nov 28 - Hope.  Over the weekend I heard good news from two friends.  They are both getting their wish come true...and hearing that from other people in situations similar (in some ways...and very different in others) to ours gives me hope that someday our wishes will also come true.

Nov 29 - Dinner with Friends.  Tonight we hung out with our friends Joseph and Alison (who incidentally we probably would have had Thanksgiving with...but they had to up and desert us for the Florida Keys...can you believe them?!?).  We went to this cool place called Flat Top Grill for dinner.  It's a "make your own stir-fry" type of place.  And my oh my do I love stir-fry (I swear I didn't mean for that to rhyme) so I was in heaven.  We will DEFINITELY be eating there again!

Nov 30 - Sleeping in.  I know I mentioned it once before...but I'm extra grateful for it today.  It's cold and rainy outside and I got to sleep in a bit and spend an extra hour or so all snuggled up to my kitty, in my new sheets and under my new down comforter.  My work schedule is crazy and a lot of the time I really don't like the games it plays on my poor internal clock...but today I was grateful to be scheduled for the late shift so I could sleep in!

Hoping to Adopt spotlight: Isaac, Sara & Hazel

Almost two years ago (holy cow, has it really been that long?) I was reading one of my favorite adoption blogs and I saw some familiar faces.  They were a couple people I went to high school with, who I didn't realize had gotten married. It was one of those wait, I know her...and wait, I know him too!  Wait...they got married?  That's so cool!  They were going through a rough patch and my heart went out to them.  I found her on facebook, started stalking her blog (well, technically since I was leaving comments it wasn't considered stalking...right?) and now we're internet buddies.  Their daughter Hazel is so stinking cute.

Isaac and I met in high school and were married for 6 years before sweet Hazel joined our family. She is the most amazing little girl, and has certainly made every bump in the journey (years of medical treatments, waiting, praying, and a reversed adoption) worth it. We are so grateful for adoption! We cannot imagine our lives without Hazel. We have an open adoption with Hazel's birthmother, whom we love with all of our hearts. She gave us the most precious gift, and we are so grateful that Hazel will always have her birthmother in her life.

Hazel is going to be a great big sister, and we are excited to add to our family again through the miracle of adoption!

You can read about their hope to adopt again HERE and HERE. 

Guest Blogger: Sterling

Sterling's beautiful adoption video kicked off National Adoption Month here on my blog.  If you haven't watched it yet you might want to do it first, before you read this...just so you have some background.
Sterling and I met when Nathan was in the Marching Band at USU...well I guess I should say we kinda met.  We had her over to our place a couple times, but we never really got to be close friends...that came later.  As Nathan and I began our adoption journey Sterling was on an adoption journey of her own.  We have become close friends; she has been such a great person to know.  She is kind and smart and beautiful...her friendship is very precious to me.  She blogs HERE...and it is worth the read.

I asked her to share a little bit about her adoption situation...she has a very open relationship with her baby's parents.

 Amy, Sterling, Bo & David

 

Open Adoption

by Sterling Bo Winn

Open adoption.

The term can give warm fuzzies, or it can make someone shiver.

I know there have been bad experiences with open adoption, and I’m not going to invalidate any of those. This is just my story, and how I came to be where I am right now.

I started looking at adopting family profiles when I was 3 months pregnant. I wasn’t really consciously planning on placing at that point, but I wanted to see what these families were like. It was a new concept to me that I could choose a family, meet them, and even correspond with them a little before placement. If I was lucky, I would even get emails and pictures every once and a while for a couple years after placement. (Apparently I only knew about the 1990’s style open adoption).

When I started emailing David and Amy, I intended to keep things strictly business (ha!) and only ask questions that were not too personal, and made it sound as though I was just browsing. In a matter of four weeks and a dozen emails, I was not only corresponding with David and Amy, but I was forming a relationship with them. We learned that we had crossed paths dozens of times in our lives, but had never actually met. We shared personal information, fears, rants, and joked. Without my realizing it at the time, I was getting to know a couple that I would come to consider family.

David and Amy live 2,500 miles away from me. I tell people that I couldn’t have chosen a family further away unless I placed an hour and a half east of them, or internationally. The distance doesn’t matter, though. It just makes our reunions that much sweeter.
I met David and Amy in person for the first time when I was 6 months pregnant. They came to Utah to visit family, and I met them for dinner. When I walked in to meet them, I knew they were my son’s parents. (That’s a different story altogether, and hopefully Holly will invite me to share that one, as well!) I also realized that I might possibly get to watch my little boy grow up, and get the closure and peace of mind that not many people get. David and Amy were so loving from the beginning, and always told me how much they appreciated and treasured our friendship above all else.

As we approached my due date, my step-father became very ill… we thought he wouldn’t make it. My first reaction was to call David and Amy. I knew they understood how much my step-dad meant to me, and I needed to hear a calming voice. They shared my grief, and gave me words of support and love. They told me that even if this somehow changed my desire to place (I’m not sure how it could have), they would be there to support me 100%.

On February 20, 2010, I delivered my baby David (“Bo”) into this world. He is beautiful and – literally – the perfect child. The two days I had him in the hospital were the most bittersweet of my life, and I really did toy with the idea of backing out of placement. But I remembered how much I love David and Amy, and I knew that I would never worry if my son was loved. I knew he would be, because of the way I had been treated.

Placement day came, and my heart was aching. I was already anticipating an empty arms feeling. Placement was perfect, though. I cried and cried, but I was able to find the strength to place my baby into the arms of his mother. I knew she had waited 8 years for that moment, and the joy and pure love I saw in her eyes, and David’s, helped me make it through the following days and weeks.

In the weeks following, David and Amy kept me updated with tons of pictures and emails about their life with Bo. They told me all of his little milestones and many things few people would really care about (how much he was spitting up, how he always wanted to be on his tummy, how much he eats, how much he poops...) and kept in close contact. I expected it to fade out after a couple of months, but instead it evolved. We had our scheduled emails and pictures, but I knew that at any time I could ask for an extra picture or email just for fun (which I only did twice). Amy and I became even closer, and our emails became less about just Bo (though he is still our favorite subject!) and expanded to include everything about our day to day lives. We both began to feel like sisters after only a few months. I felt comfort and peace whenever I would hear from them.

It was heart warming to see pictures of David and Bo together, and receive emails from David about how much he loves his son, and know that he is the kind of dad every boy should have. I knew I couldn't offer that by myself and I was, over and over, reassured that Bo is the most loved and adored little boy.

In August, I had the incredible opportunity to fly to Florida to be with them when the adoption was finalized (I was the first birthmother present at an adoption finalization for the judge), when they went through the temple (Oh, how my heart longs to enter the House of the Lord someday soon!), and when they blessed little Bo. I still longed for my baby and missed him, but being allowed to share in their joy helped me to find the joy in my own heart. I rejoiced with them. And it felt soooooo good. I can advocate adoption completely because I have seen firsthand the happiness it brings to ALL participants.

Sterling and Bo at the Temple when he was sealed to Dave & Amy

I recently returned from another visit to Florida, this time just for fun. We spent hours and hours talking, laughing, and sharing stories. It was the best vacation I’ve had so far in my life, and it was amazing to feel as though I was with close family. When I left, I was not the only one crying. I know our relationship is not just a facade to make them look good (although I believe they are the BEST couple in the world!), but that they genuinely love and care about me... not just because I am their son's birthmother.

I know that as the years go by, we may contact each other less often. We plan to keep our families close, and I know that both sides will try. I also know that if many months go between emails or phone calls, I will never have to worry if my baby is okay. I have seen enough of them and learned enough about them to know that Bo is where he is supposed to be. I’ve had the opportunity to share their joy and love in becoming a family. My testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ has grown as they have shared their love of God with me.

I am so grateful for an open adoption. I went into this looking for my baby’s parents. I never imagined I would find my best friends. They are the parents I would like to be. They help remind me why I turned my life around, and why I desire to live a good life… so that my sweet little Bo will be proud of me and the decisions I make from now on.

Open adoption is beautiful. It is a blessing. I have been healing much more quickly than I thought I would. I will never “get over” my adoption experience. But, thanks to my incredible relationship with David, Amy and Bo, I have had the closure that is allowing me to move forward and find happiness. I don’t know where I would be without the miracle of open adoption.

Hoping to Adopt Spotlight: Eric, Christy & Tyler

I met Christy last November at a Families Supporting Adoption conference.  She and I have since become great friends with a shared love of Diet Coke and adoption.  

Eric, Christy & Tyler

My Family is Hoping to Adopt Again!

Hi!  My name is Tyler and I live in Illinois.  I am part of a very special family built through the miracle of adoption.   I have an amazing birth mom who found two parents for me that are in love and who love me to pieces!! They tell me they sneak into my room every night to give me even more kisses when I am sleeping. 

My parents knew before they were married that their children would come to them through adoption.   They prayed for years and waited a really long time for me.  Because they did, they spoil me rotten! (I also have my grandparents wrapped around my little finger!) They have been married for eleven years and we all just celebrated their last anniversary this past September in Sundance, Utah.   Right now their hearts desire is for a sibling for me.  Boy or girl, it doesn’t matter – they just want another child for all of us to love.  (My ten year old Maltese dog would also like me to have a sibling.  She’s getting pretty tired of playing trucks and trying to catch balls with me.  She just likes to nap most of the day.)

This is my mom, Christy.  She does lots of fun things with me.  We jump in puddles, finger paint with pudding, take walks in my wagon to nearby parks, and she even lets me help her cook.  We love to make smiley faces in the cheese filling when we make quesadillas.  She loves to bake muffins with me and she has this thing for chocolate and this stuff I call “black juice”.  I think they call it Diet Coke.  She grew up in the northwest suburbs of Chicago.  She loves children so much that she got her degree in Family and Consumer Sciences and taught middle school and high school before I arrived.  Now she stays home so we can play and learn with each other.

This is my dad, Eric.  He is a computer genius!  He gets to ride the train to downtown Chicago, where he works VERY hard for our family.  He takes me to play soccer and football on Saturdays.  He even takes me swimming so I can practice my jumps and my straight-leg kicks.  He makes really good chocolate chip cookies and pumpkin pie.  My dad was in the U.S. Navy for three years before my grandpa introduced my mom and dad to each other.  He grew up in central Illinois and I hear he has turned into one big softie ever since I came along!

My parents tell me every day what a miracle I am and how much they love me and my birth mother.  We are so excited and hopeful for another miracle in our family.  I know that we pray each night for my birth mother and for all birth mothers and thank them for their sacrifice and bravery.  If you would like to talk to my mom and dad, you can email them here.   I know they would love to talk to you!

You can also read more about their journey through my adoption and about some of my crazy antics here.