Excuses

A couple of conversations I've had the last few days have really got me thinking.  I have wanted to be back at a healthy, skinny weight for a long time.  But I always had excuses.  It was too hard, I have PCOS, I don't have a gym membership, I have a baby, I work too much, it's too hot, it's too cold, my knees hurt, blah, blah, blah...

The painful, honest truth?  

I didn't want it bad enough.  

I wanted immediate gratification things NOW instead of a bigger, lasting things LATER.  I wanted that can of Coke or bowl of pasta or extra hour sleeping in or that second piece of cake...I wanted it all more than being healthy and fit and strong.  And for a long time that was ok with me.  I had resigned myself to the fact that I'd be that weight forever.  That there was "nothing I could do about it".  

Then something happened. 

A few months ago I was sitting with Miles as he was playing in his room.  For no reason at all he turned, giggled, and ran to me arms outstretched...it was the first time he spontaneously gave me a hug.  My heart melted.  And in one clear, crystallized moment I realized that my selfish, excuse filled choices were now not only going to affect my future, but his as well.  I was making the conscious choice to shorten my life.  I was consciously CHOOSING to make my son have to bury his mother early.  And I knew I had to change.  

 

I was going to give no more excuses.  I signed up with Isagenix; threw out all the Coke, candy, chips, cake mixes, ice cream in our house; I made a vision board; and I got my butt in gear.  

It's been 34 days and I'm down 19.5bs.  It hasn't been easy.  It has meant some MAJOR sacrificing.  It has meant sitting at a baby shower with my bottle of water, watching everyone else eat cupcakes.   It has meant declining dinner invitations.  It has meant dragging my sorry butt out of bed and getting some exercise...even when I'm tired and even when my knee hurts (I've got bursitis...ouch!).  It has meant putting lots of time and energy into meal planning.  It has meant sitting at the dinner table feeding Miles his yummy pasta dinner while I sip my (also yummy...but not the same) dinner shake.  

But you know what?  I don't care.  I am getting healthy.  My body fat percentage is going down, I'm losing weight, I have LOTS more energy, I feel less stressed, I am happier...and I have no more excuses.  

I challenge you to free yourself from your excuses.  It. is. liberating.

I am a mother

I went to church today.  On Mother's Day.  For the first time in SEVEN years.  I sat in my seat and hugged my wiggly little man, whispering prayers of gratitude and fighting back happy tears.  I got to thinking about last year on Mother's Day, how we thought we'd once again been passed-over for another family.  The pain of Georgia still fresh on our hearts, I sat on my couch in my pajamas, snuggled to Winston and ate my weight in chocolate...furnished by my wonderful parents and my sweet hubby.  There were many tears shed.  There was also THIS post.  

Eight days later I became a mother.

This past year has been nothing short of everything I'd hoped for in being a mother.  Of course there are rough days...where I get spit-up on and peed on and pooped on and food thrown at me...and the cranky days and sleepless nights and sticky everything and toys everywhere.  But I can honestly say that I have LOVED every minute of it.  Even today, as I held my sweet little guy who is teething, who went through FOUR diapers during church, who peed all over his pants (and the wall and me and the changing station) on change number three...even today I was grateful.  As I held him and stared at those little naked chubby legs with the upside down heart birthmark just near his knee...I was overcome with gratitude for the blessing of being a mother.  I hope I NEVER take it for granted. 

To you, my dear friends who ache for this blessing.  I love you.  My heart aches for you.  I know today is not the easiest day.  I sincerely HOPE with all the hope I can muster that soon you'll be able to hold the child for which your arms ache.  Keep your chin up and remember it is always darkest before the dawn. 

Looking back: 2011

I did this last year...it helps hold me accountable for the goals I've set for myself.  A lot changed for us in 2011.  Some of our highest highs and definitely our lowest lows.  So although I didn't do everything I resolved to do I am happy with the path my life is on...and the things we accomplished that were not on my list. 

Let's remind us what I wanted to change: 

Be better with birthdays
Lose weight
Read in the scriptures everyday
Find a new job
Do one random act of kindness for a stranger, once a month

And now for the Report Card: 

C: Be better with birthdays - Still not as good as I want to do...I am hoping that this new organization/planning idea I found in Pinterest will help me.  I love it when other people remember my birthday and I would love to be better at doing that for others.  

D: Lose weight  - Fail.  100%.  The truth is, losing weight is hard for me (damn PCOS).  We made some pretty big changes this year to our lifestyle  - we got (and used!) a gym membership (until we got Miles) cut out Diet Coke (seriously...and I'm still alive.  Amazing, yes?)...even after we got Miles I exercised (walking everyday with him) but still no weight loss.  It's frustrating to put in the effort in diet and exercise and see NO results.  I am going to have to learn to just be happy with the number on the tags in my clothes...and focus instead on staying healthy.  

C: Read in the scriptures everyday - I go through streaks where I will do awesome...and then not so awesome.  Once Miles came along we started reading to him from the children's versions of the scriptures every night...so that's a start. 

A+: Find a new job - I did.  I quit my horrible job in February and then in May I got hired by the best. boss. ever.  I don't even mind it when he throws up on me...that's how awesome he is.

B: Do one random act of kindness for a stranger, once a month - I missed a couple months...but then other months I did more than one.  I liked searching for opportunities for random kindness, especially when I was having a bad day.  Nothing like anonymous service to lift the spirits.  

30 sure was a good one

On the eve of my birthday last year I got quite emotional.  I was no where near where I thought I would be when I hit my landmark birthday.  I felt like a failure.  I had no degree, no children, no career...it was tough.  Especially watching friends from high school each turning 30 and being surrounded by children or working at fabulous jobs...it seemed to make me all the more melancholy.   I lamented on Facebook and my friend Jamie told me that turning 30 was awesome for her.  Turns out, turning 30 was pretty awesome for me too.  This year was amazing.  No, more than amazing...perfect.  Sure I got sick, and we had that whole Georgia mess...but we also got Miles, were able to spend almost TWO MONTHS with family, found out we're moving to Italy, Nathan got promoted...and that's just the big stuff. 

Now I sit here on the eve of my 31st birthday and I am so grateful for the year I've had.  I've also learned a few things...can I share them with you? 

Never try and plan your life out -

you'll just stress yourself out and

miss the little things along the way. 

 

Even in the depths of sorrow

there are still beautiful things in life

...they are just harder to find.  

Keep looking. 

 

Hold on to hope.

When things get tough just remember

it is always darkest before the dawn.

A random act of kindness is the 

best mood booster out there.

I guarantee it.   

 

The size of your jeans should not

determine how you feel about yourself.

You are beautiful.

Thank you to all my family, friends, blog buddies and online adoption peeps who have helped make this year so perfect for us.  Here's hoping this year is just as great!

of.fi.cial

of·fi·cial 

/əˈfiSHəl/

Of or relating to an authority or public body and its duties, actions, and responsibilities


Having the approval or authorization of such a body


Employed by such a body in a position of authority or trust


Emanating from or attributable to a person in office; properly authorized


Perceived as characteristic of officials and bureaucracy; officious
• 
  

We got something pretty awesome in the mail today.  A tiny packet of papers that say that Miles is officially, legally ours as of September 26, 2011.  Many, many happy tears were shed in our house tonight. 

::Miles:: Part V: his name

(Part I can be found HERE, part II can be found HERE part III can be found HERE part IV can be found HERE)
 
This post could also be called "The one where we KNEW Miles was meant to be in our family"

Back when we started trying to have children we had a couple names we really liked...unfortunately they were all girl names.  When we were planning on adopting the twins last summer we started looking for boy names we liked...the list was short.  We are band geeks, so Miles (as in Miles Davis) came to mind.  It was also fresh on our minds because we had been watching LOST and one of the characters was named Miles.  It was our front runner boy name and stayed in that position since.  The problem was we could not find a middle name we liked paired with it.  We wanted it to mean something, so we tried all the family names we could think of...Nathan's middle name, his father's name, his grandfather's name, same with my side of the family.  But we could never come up with something we loved...something that just rolled off the tongue.  

I remember telling someone once that maybe we couldn't come up with one because we weren't meant to.  Fast forward to this situation.  We knew we wanted to call him Miles, but still couldn't decide on a middle name.  Amy called us and said that T had been calling the baby by a name the whole pregnancy and wondered if we would consider using it.  I told her we would consider it...but I wanted to know what it was first.  Afterall, I didn't want a baby named Miles Crowbar or Miles Hankypanky.  When she told me the name it sucked my breath away: Elijah.  I loved it.  It was actually on our short list last summer...and it also happens to be my maternal great-grandfather's middle name.  Seriously.  Nathan is not one for signs...but even he couldn't dispute that her using the name Elijah was a sign that Miles was meant to be in our home.  When we met with T on placement day we told her we planned on using the name as his middle name...so he'd always have a connection to her and yet it was still a family name.  She was touched that we would keep it and use it somehow. 

Many people have asked if we named him Miles because of all the miles we had to travel to get him.  I had never considered it until someone mentioned it on Facebook.  The answer is no...but it does fit.  We did have to travel MANY miles...both literally and figuratively...to get our little Miles.  But I tell you what...all those miles were totally worth it.

::Miles:: Part IV: placement day

(Part I can be found HERE, part II can be found HERE part III can be found HERE) 

We didn't get much sleep...when you factor in the nerves and the caffeine I didn't really expect to get any.  We got up, showered and got ready, ate (read: tried to eat) breakfast and were at the hospital by 8:30am.  While we waited for Amy in the parking lot we sat in the car so afraid of what could happen.  We were so worried...we were just waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under us.

We met Amy for the first time in person in the parking lot of the hospital.  She seemed so calm...we were not.  I had hardly eaten anything for breakfast and I felt like I was going to throw up from the nerves.  We got into the hospital, up to the right floor and Amy called the phone to be admitted into the Mother & Child wing of the hospital.  This is what we heard:

"Hi, I'm here for T"
"What?"
Silence...confused stare.
"What do you mean she's not here?  Where did she go?"
"Well can I come back there and talk to you?"

Amy hung up the phone, turned to us and said "She's not here".  Nathan went white as a ghost and sunk to the floor in heavy silence.  I thought to myself, this cannot be happening to us again.  Amy looked calm, but was obviously confused.  We had JUST been in the hospital 7 hours earlier...we had held the baby.  Where could she have gone?!  Just then the hospital social worker came into the hallway.  She had been in a meeting downstairs when she thought "we have an adoption happening today, I guess I should go up and make sure everything is going smoothly."  Amy asked her if she knew where T had gone...the social worker was as perplexed as we were.  She said T was still on the patient list and that she would go find out what was going on.  She badged into the restricted area while we waited outside...it felt like an ETERNITY.  All I could think is that a 27 hour empty-armed drive home was going to really suck.  When the social worker came back through the doors, she was all smiles.  Her words: "she's still here" washed a relief over me like I have never known.   Apparently there had just been some miscommunication between Amy & the nurses, but all was well.  I am SO very glad that the social worker listened to her gut and came upstairs when she did.

Nervous feet waiting in the hospital corridor.

We waited out by the nurses station and filled out some paperwork for the hospital while Amy went in with T and had her sign paperwork.  Every time someone would come out of her room with a worried or somber look I thought "this is it...here comes the bad news."  It took longer than we thought it should...like an hour longer.  I knew it wouldn't be like ordering a hamburger but it was over an hour before we saw Amy.  There had been trouble with the notary...it was his first adoption and there were some things he wasn't sure of/comfortable with so he decided to NOT do it...so Amy had to go with plan B.  (I just have to say again...Amy is so awesome.  There is NO WAY this would have happened without her) 

While all that was going on, the nurses put the baby into his carseat, where he had to sit for 2 hours while they tested his oxygen levels.  They wanted to make sure he'd be ok for the drive home.  We waited in the waiting room and watched the mandatory video (which we skipped most of...I didn't need to know how to care for my woman parts after giving birth...and I didn't need to hear the breastfeeding part either) and eventually Amy came in for our turn at paperwork.

Signing paperwork. 

After we signed paperwork and Amy declared "That's it.  He's yours"  there were still no tears.  It still just felt so surreal.  It was something we had ached for and cried over for SEVEN years...and after a (ton) of signatures that was it.  He was ours.  Our wait was over.   We snapped a picture with Amy and then collected all our copies of the paperwork.

Now was the time to meet T.  Now the nerves set in again.  I knew that papers were signed and nothing could revoke them, but I was still nervous.  Would she like us?  Would she think we were good enough to raise this baby?  Amy went in the room first and we followed.  T was sitting in the bed.  When I saw her she felt familiar.  I walked right up and gave her a hug and told her thank you...she said "No, thank YOU".   It floored me.  Nathan hugged her and then we took the next hour to chat with her.  It was wonderful.  It felt natural, not awkward like I expected.  We presented her with the gifts we'd brought and asked her for a few tips.  We sensed she was ready to be alone and we left her with Amy, but not before we took a few pictures.

When we walked out of her room I suddenly realized just how hungry I was.  The nerves were gone, and the happy calm had set in.  The sweet nurses got me a sandwich, a Diet Coke & some chips.  I headed into the nursery where I arrived just in time to feed our baby.  I got to spend the next hour rocking our baby in the rocking chair in the hospital's nursery.  Nathan left me in the hospital and took the car to get serviced...he hadn't had time to do it before we left on Monday and we were WAY overdue for an oil change.  He got back in time to change his first diaper and feed his first baby.

We are parents!

We got everything packed up, and signed the discharge papers.  We got Miles strapped into his carseat and into the stroller and walked out of the nursery, only to run into Amy & T in the hallway.  They had come to say goodbye to us and to Miles.  Nathan and I watched as this sweet woman bent over the carseat, kissed her baby on the head and whispered goodbye.  We hugged her again and Nathan asked if there was anything we could do for her.  "Love my baby" was all she said.  Amy took a couple pictures of the three of us by the stroller and we waved good-bye.  A nurse followed us out to the car...which was such a weird feeling...we were leaving the hospital with a baby...and no one was running after us yelling "baby stealers!"  We got Miles all snapped in, hugged the nurse and drove away as a newly formed family of three.  

::Miles:: Part III: all the many miles

(Part I can be found HERE, part II can be found HERE)

We had planned to take turns on the drive so that we'd be able to drive straight through without stopping.  The plan was one of us would drive while the other slept...then we'd trade off.  We also decided to stop & fill up with gas when we reached 1/2 a tank so we'd break up the trip more...keeping us more awake and alert.  We had made long drives before so we weren't too worried except for the lack of sleep factor...we'd already been up since morning (Nathan since 5, me since 8) and our departure time was nearing bedtime.  When we finally hit the road at 10pm both of us were a little sleepy.  We said a prayer for safety, downed a couple 5 hour energy shots and headed off.  Nathan drove for the first hour, and then I took over.  Sometime around 11pm I got a text from Amy.  She had arrived at the hospital and had seen the baby.  He was born a healthy 6lbs 8oz and had lots of hair.  She sent me a couple pictures of him.  I did my best to look at them and drive (I know...SO not safe, but I couldn't help myself!)  and I woke Nathan up because I knew he would want to see them.  He looked at them for a few minutes and then fell back asleep.

 First look at our little guy.

I kept driving and made it to almost 7am, which is a miracle...that is a LONG time driving for me.  Every time we stopped to fill up with gas I would get the largest fountain cup they had and fill it with Diet Coke.  That coupled with 5 hour energy shots, phone calls from my mom & singing along with my ipod is what got me through that long, dark, boring night. 

We updated Facebook when we passed landmarks...the comments and messages helped make the drive pass faster, and also gave us hope that this was really going to happen. 

On Tuesday late afternoon we made a pit stop in Denver to pickup the stroller and carseat we wanted...my mom had scoured the internet to see where we could find it between our home and St George.  We also made another attempt at finding a gift for the woman who was going to give us a baby.  We found the perfect thing and got back on the road.  By this time my poor body was sick of the car.  We'd been on the road for about 20 hours and we were still not even to Utah.  The last leg of the drive was DRAGGING.  It probably didn't help when I tried to get off the interstate to grab some dinner and ended up taking three wrong turns.  That move got me immediately booted out of the drivers seat.  Once Nathan got us back on the highway the sun started to set...and I started to worry.  We were entering Eastern Utah and there isn't much there.  The piece of I-70 just West of the Colorado border through to Salina, Utah is desolate.  I mean DESOLATE.  No cell service, no gas stations, no electricity, no houses, no farms, hardly any other traffic.  It was freaky.  I had much stress worrying about us breaking down and being stuck there for the rest of our lives...which would undoubtedly be shorter once the truck driver serial killer picked us up (yes, I obviously watch too much CSI).

The whole drive I was texting Amy and updating her on our progress.  She was with the birthmom - who I'm going to call T - who was still sure in her decision.  At some time during our conversations on Tuesday Amy asked us if we would be ok with meeting T....um, YES!   She had decided she wanted to meet us and wanted to have a semi-open adoption...with letters & pictures being exchanged through the agency.  This was a huge relief to us, we had wanted an open relationship!  We felt like it would be so much better as Miles grew up if the channels of communication were open between he & his birthmother.

The plan was for us to come to the hospital when we arrived that evening and then we'd sign paperwork Wednesday morning.   But the longer we drove, the later our arrival time got.  I told Amy we wouldn't be getting in until 11:30ish and told her we totally understood if it was too late, we'd just go in the morning.  She told us that T wanted us to come, no matter how late it was...even if she was asleep.  She wanted us to "meet our son."

We pulled into St George at 11:45pm on Tuesday May 18th.  We had been on the road for 15 minutes shy of 27 hours....with nothing more than gas-ups to rest and stretch our legs.  We had bags under our eyes, our feet were swollen and our rear ends ached...but we didn't care. We parked at the hospital and found the right floor.  The nurses were all very sweet, which is something I had worried about, I have heard HORROR stories from adoptive couples that nurses were mean to them.  The nurses showed us to the waiting room and they went to get the baby.  They wheeled him in and it felt surreal...like we were just visiting a friend who had a baby.  They told us we could take as much time as we wanted, just to go get them when we were done.

When I lifted him out of the bassinet and held him for the first time, I didn't have an overflowing of emotion...in fact I don't recall that there were even any tears.  It just felt calm & right.  We snapped a few pictures, took turns snuggling him and then decided we had better go get checked into the hotel & get some rest...tomorrow was a big day.

Us and our sweet baby.  Wednesday May 18th, 12:06am.  

27 hours in the car...totally worth it. 

::Miles:: Part II: the unexpected news

(Part I can be found HERE)

Monday came and I had been talking with Amy about another situation that had popped up for the agency.  It was a baby girl, born early, paperwork already signed...but the fees were just way too high for us.  I know it may seem weird that I was looking for something else, but we didn't have a definite answer on the St George situation and we really felt like it was going to fall through so I was actively pursuing other things.  Amy said she'd keep me posted on both situations - to see if the agency would reduce the fees for the baby girl and also what happened at the doctor's appointment.

I called my mom (which I do usually about once a day) and we were chatting about the baby girl situation...mostly lamenting (read: complaining about) the high cost of adoption.  My other line beeped and I saw it was Amy.  I told my mom I had to go and I grabbed the other line.  Amy asked "did you get my text?"  My initial reaction was that she (the birthmom) decided she didn't want us.  I told Amy I had been on the phone so I hadn't seen a text yet.  Then Amy dropped the bomb "She wants you, and she is at the doctor, 6cm dilated, they are doing a C-section now."  She told me we might want to start looking at travel options, but not to book anything until we saw paperwork emailed from the agency.  I hung up the phone and saw the text she was talking about: 5/16/11 10:59am  "She just said that she wants you.  She is going to the dr in St George and thinks they will keep her"  I called Nathan at work (he was luckily doing a security watch and not a gig...otherwise I wouldn't have been able to get a hold of him)  I looked online at plane tickets and was astounded at the cost...$750 each for one way.  Surprisingly I didn't do much more, I actually made a sandwich, sat on the couch and watched TV for an hour or so.  I was convinced that I would be getting a call shortly that said "never mind!"  I did start a few batches of laundry, it needed to be done anyway...and I vacuumed and dusted.  It wasn't until I talked to Amy again that I realized I needed to get my butt in gear.  She had talked to the birthmom and told her she HAD to be sure...that we would be flying in from Illinois and before they told us to get on a plane she had to be 100% set in her decision.  She said she was sure, which Amy relayed to us and so I started packing.  We decided to make the trip via car instead of plane...which still seems so crazy to me.  Mapquest said it was a 23.5 hour drive.  I knew it would be longer once you factored in the pit stops, etc...and we planned on making it in one shot.  No overnight stops.  It was daunting...and my OCD brain started worrying about the car breaking down in the middle of Nebraska. 

While Nathan was squaring things away with his work, I dug through the boxes in the nursery closet and found the few little blue outfits we'd bought in preparation for the twins last summer.  I tore off the tags and washed them, still not allowing myself to believe they'd actually be used.  I hurried outside in the chilly weather to put in the rest of my flowers (I'd started the week before but had to stop because of a monsoon rainstorm)...man, planting flowers in cold dirt is not that fun!  Nathan got home from work and we packed our bags.   We ran to a couple stores to see if we could find a nice gift to give to our birthmother (as an aside...how do you even possibly get a gift that says "thank you for making us a family?!).  We made the announcement on Facebook - which we seriously considered NOT doing...until we had a picture of us with a baby...but we decided if this went south we'd need the love and support of our friends & family.

We got the car packed & said our good-byes to Winston.  Our friends came over to get our key so they could watch over Winston (and so they could watch the Bulls playoff games on our big screen TV).  We passed along to them all the perishable food in our fridge and hit the road at 10pm...which incidentally was 2 hours earlier than Nathan thought I'd be ready to go.  I have a bit of a problem running late...so he was pleasantly surprised that we were able to take off so quick.  I wasn't so surprised...afterall this was the second quick pack job we've had to do in the last 6 weeks...and I still had the packing list from the first one. 

Here we are, pulling out of our driveway, hoping that the next 24+ hours we'd spend in a car would lead us to something wonderful. 

Somebody Else's Road

A friend of mine posted the lyrics to this song on her Facebook and I loved them. I tried to find audio for it, with no luck. If any of you know where I can find it, would you let me know?

Somebody Else's Road
Jana Stanfield & Karen Taylor-Good

Trying out for cheerleader, a mouthful of new braces
I jump, I yell, the gym becomes an endless sea of faces

They call the winners one by one, I pray I'll hear my name
The last name called is my best friend, I hang my head in shame
Oh, sometimes when a blessing comes it's hard to understand
My voice was meant for music, I was meant to join the band

Somebody else's road might seem smoother than my own
Might lead to greener pastures, might be paved with gold
When I look with envy at where other people go
I remind myself that's somebody else's road

Every time I hit a barricade that I don't want to see there
I close my eyes and look again hoping it won't be there
I throw myself against it and find that it won't move
Even so I'll push and shove until I'm black and blue
Till finally it occurs to me could this be a sign
Telling me as plain as day this road isn't mine

Somebody else's road might seem smoother than my own
Might lead to greener pastures, might be paved with gold
When I look with envy at where other people go
I remind myself that's somebody else's road

When it seems I'm going nowhere
Wandering aimlessly
I have to trust that where I am
Is right where I need to be

Somebody else's road might seem smoother than my own
Might lead to greener pastures, might be paved with gold
When I look with envy at where other people go
I remind myself that's somebody else's road

LOST

Friday was a BEAUTIFUL day. My new friend Sara and I decided to take our smelly four legged children on a walk to enjoy the very welcome sunshine. About a half a mile or so into our walk I notice that I am missing my cell phone. I ask Sara to hold the boys while I quickly go back and see if I can find it. I thought it must have fallen out of my pocket when I squatted down to pick up Besta's, well...poop. (sorry, gross I know but hey, at least I am a responsible dog owner!) I scoured the entire way back to our building and found nothing. I raced upstairs, told Nathan to call and suspend the phone, then I went back to meet up with Sara.

We get back to the apartment and it was the weirdest thing...I would think about things that were in the phone (pictures, addresses, birthdays, etc) that I would have to get again, or that I would have lost forever and I would worry, but I never got that horrible pit in my stomach...which is weird because I am a WORRY WART. As we were getting ready to head to the cell phone store, Nathan got a call on his cell phone. Someone had FOUND my phone and wanted to get it back to us. He had searched through my address book and called the number for 'HOME' and no one answered, but the message said Holly and Nathan so he scanned through and found Nathan's # and called that. We went downstairs to wait for them and about 20 minutes later this beautiful little family comes walking up to us and hands me over my phone. The guy's son (who looked about 12-ish) had found it. I thought it was awesome that he was teaching his kid to be honest and do the right thing. They could have easilly just kept it and used it for themselves, but they didn't. I was (and still am) grateful for them. I hope somewhere, somebody will show them the same kindness on them that they showed me.

Viva chicago! (part 3) a.k.a. The Long of it

We got back on the road Saturday am and made pretty good time through the remainder of Iowa and Illinois. We stopped for lunch and heard some people talking behind us about the storm blowing in. After all we had been through we HAD to make it to the hotel before it got there...I could take another setback. So we get in the car and are a couple hours away from the base, I call to make the reservation at the Navy Lodge (I hadn't made it before because I wanted to make sure we were actually going to make it...I didn't want to pay for night that we didn't use...turns out that was a good idea cause we were pulling into town two days later than I had anticipated.) I had called to check with this particular Navy Lodge on their pet policy about a month before we left. I told them about our traveling circus and they said it would not be a problem. Well...it turned out to be a problem. They said they would allow only two pets per room. The 'helpful' customer service lady said we were more than welcome to book two rooms. Ya, that would just be GREAT. We were running SUPER low on funds already, lets just book a SECOND room for the dog. grrr. I start bawling in the truck. I have been glued to that seat for four days. Eating too much fast food, with a side of too much stress. I broke. Luckily Nathan was there and he called his sponsor John and had him find another pet friendly place for us to stay. (We stayed at La Quinta...and if any of you are ever traveling with pets I HIGHLY reccomend them. No extra fees...clean rooms...free breakfast...free wifi) We get checked in and unload our circus, then unhook the car off the dolly and return it. As we finish doing that, it starts snowing. We grab a quick bite at Chili's and head back to the room.

The next day we get up to over a foot of snow. grrr. I try and contact realtors (because you find apartments through realtors out here...for real) but it is Sunday and none are around. We drive around and look at a few places from the outside, just to get a feel for the area. The next morning we try the realtors again....and we get a list of referal housing from the base housing office. We call a bunch, see a lot and decide that some people's definition of LIVABLE is definitely not the same as mine. There was one house where the bedrooms were about 7x7...and there were only two of them. Keep in mind we are moving from a five bedroom house...two 7x7 bedrooms just isn't going to cut it! Oh, and to add to it the landlord of this house wanted to be able to use the spare room in the basement as an office. It had no outdoor entrance, nothing separating it from the rest of the house. He just wanted to be able to come and go as he wanted. No bueno.

By Tuesday night I was getting frustrated. I had long since run out of clean clothes...I was tired of eating out and I thought we might never find a place to live. That's when John (Nathan's sponsor) called us to tell us about a condo open in their building. We drove right down to look at it. It was great. Cherry hardwood floors, 42" cabinets in the kitchen, jetted bathtub, fireplace, private rooftop deck. We told them we would think about it and call them in the a.m. We talked the whole way back to the hotel about the pros and cons of living so far from the base. We decided it was worth it. We called the next morning, said we'd be down to sign the lease in a few hours. The next 6 or so hours were HORRIBLE...they involved LOTS of tears, much anxiety, unhelpful Navy Relief, a very generous mother and grandmother and one understanding landlord.

We finally got everything signed (that night...see picture...what a pretty city!) , and the next morning met with the property management people at the condo to get the keys. John and his wife Sara lent us an air mattress and some pillows so we wouldn't have to sleep on the floor.

On Tuesday all our stuff was delivered. Man, we have a LOT of stuff. It is a bit tricky...because we moved from such a big house with so much room into a small-ish condo with two bedrooms. But it is good. We're going through and keeping what we really need and the rest will be given to Good Will or put in storage. These pics are taken from our little balcony, looking down into the alley behind the building. The two white moving trucks were both FILLED. Yep, we're officially hoarders.




I refuse to post pictures until it is decent, and it is slowly coming. To help calm your thirst for pictures here is a teaser: (this was obviously taken before our massive amount of boxes arrived)

This is the living room. That is a fireplace in the corner (sadly, we have already used it..isn't it APRIL??!?). I know the pic sucks, but it will have to do for now. Be patient with me, I have 296 boxes to unpack. (That was our actual count...I told you...hoarders...)

Oh ok, stop whining, here's this one too. This is the back of our building. (beggers can't be choosers). That's the garage where each condo has one spot (thank heavens...I HATE shoveling snow off cars!...sorry Nathan the truck is too big and has to be outside) The third floor up is our place. You can see the dog house on the balcony. The two windows are our bedroom, as is the first one on the left side. The second little window is the master bath.

More to come...I promise!