Unshakable Faith

Found this.  Love it. Had to share.

Peace and panic in Switzerland

Remember the week I spent in Switzerland last summer?  Well the opportunity came up again this year (the Rome Temple is still not completed) and so we made plans to go as a family.  Nathan put in the leave request and it was approved.  I was excited to be able to share this time with him, and with Miles.  Then a few days before we are supposed to leave Nathan gets word that his deployment is being extended a couple days...and will keep him from going.  So now we have a choice to make.  Do Miles and I still go or do I go and leave Miles here with friends for the one night until Nathan gets home?  After much debate we decide that I should still go...and go alone.  The trip is non-refundable so someone should definitely go yet me in all my morning sickness glory trying to wrangle a very active two-year old who just learned the word NO all while sharing a twin size bed with him?  Not. Gonna. Happen.  

So I make the arrangements and start to make my packing lists.  Sunday comes, I drop Miles off, and a friend drops me off at the bus station.  The bus ride up was HORRIBLE.  Seriously...I was in tears and seriously considering getting off in Milan and hopping a train back home.  But I wanted SO BADLY - and needed, really - to go to the Temple.   So I prayed to God..."Dear God, I want to go spend this week at the Temple.  Please help me to make it through this bus ride."  The bus didn't leave our area until 8pm and we were stopping every two hours...the whole way up.  My smashed-by-fetus bladder was very grateful for the frequent stops, but herding 80 Italians through a rest stop every two hours was trying on the group leader's patience.  I was also sharing a row with someone, and sitting behind a GIANT man.  Seriously...think offensive lineman.  When his seat was reclined it came a hand width's distance of my face (put your hand in front of your face, perpendicular...notice where your pinky is? Ya, that's where the chair was.)  We didn't get to Bern until 1pm the following day.  By then my feet were swollen, I hurt everywhere, and I was long past queasy.  As soon as I got the key to my room in the hostel I went in and took a nap.  It was heavenly!  

The following morning I was able to attend the Temple.  I was overcome by the Spirit more than once...moved to tears.  It's such a wonderful place to be and I had missed it so much.  (The Swiss Temple is our closest Temple...until Rome is done)   Over the next couple days I was able to go each morning and each afternoon - which was WAY more than last year.  I soaked in the Spirit of the Temple as much as I could.  

In the evenings, after the Temple would close, I would feel lonely.  I was on the trip by myself, with a bus full of Italians.  There were a handful of Americans but they were all with people.  There were a couple times I was so frustrated.  I was so sick, and so tired, and I was hungry but didn't want to fight the crowd in the kitchen of the hostel to make something.  That's when something happened...twice...that made me remember that God knows me and knows when I am happy and when I am sad.  President Romano (our branch president...kind of like our pastor) came outside, saw me on the bench and told me in Italian that there was a plate for me at their table.  He is so in touch with the Spirit...he felt the whisperings to seek me out.  He is a man of God and for that I am so grateful.  The Italians from our branch welcomed me into their "family" (it was a hubby and wife, a few older ladies, and a couple older guys) for two meals.  Both on evenings where I was on the brink of frustrated, lonely tears.  God is good ladies and gents.  No heartache is too small for Him.  

Thursday morning I had just finished my session in the Temple...I didn't feel good.  I was crampy and just felt off.  Then I went to the bathroom and discovered I was bleeding.  My heart dropped to the floor.  I quickly left the Temple, hurried to the hostel hiding my worried, panicked tears...hoping that our room was empty.  It wasn't.  I crawled into my tiny twin bunk and willed the others to leave.  They did.  I texted Nathan.  Over the next 30 mins we played text-phone tag. He called the OB clinic and played middle man for news.  I was advised to lay still, relax, and see what happened.  If the cramping and bleeding didn't stop in one hour I was to seek medical care.  I was terrified.  I speak German...but not THAT German.  And where was the closest medical facility?  And how would I pay?  And what would happen if - God forbid - I was miscarrying.  The thought of suffering a miscarriage in a shared hostel room or on a 16 hour bus-ride home added another layer of worry to my already troubled heart.  I prayed.  SO HARD.  I begged God to spare my baby.  But I acknowledged His will and asked that if I was going to lose the baby that it would wait long enough for me to be home.  That was a hard prayer.  But I learned years ago that submitting my will to His was much easier than trying to bend His will to mine.  I prayed for comfort, and peace...and following the prayer I was able to sleep for an hour.  When I woke I went to check for blood and found no new.  And my cramps were gone.  Tears of gratitude fell on my cheeks.  I let Nathan know the developments, and then prayed some more.  Later that evening I asked one of the men on the trip for a Priesthood Blessing.  The Spirit that flowed through the blessing brought me comfort.  The words that were spoken are sacred and precious to me. 

The following day we packed up the hostel and loaded the bus.  I was adament that I needed two seats for the journey home.  I succeeded and did my best to wedge my body in positions of comfort.  It wasn't perfect but it was SO MUCH better than the bus ride up had been.  I arrived home to the loving arms of a worried husband and an excited two year old.  

I learned something in Switzerland.  Well, I guess I can't say learned because it was something I already knew.  I guess I should say I was reminded of something.  God will provide...you just have to ask.   That doesn't mean He'll always provide what you ask for...rather, He will provide what you need.  

I needed patience, and I got it.

I needed love, and I got it.

I needed healing, and I got it.

I needed peace, and I got it. 

We believe in miracles

More of the story to come.  Lots, lots more to come.

.six.

Today marks

six years

since our first baby was due. 

That pregnancy was

{SO} wanted

and {MUCH} prayed for...

but today as I

sat on the floor

playing cars with Miles

I felt {grateful}

for the times God says

"not yet"

Thoughts of the baby nature

I have no idea where this string of thoughts came from...but it's been occupying my mind for a while and it seems the only way to give my mind some solace is to get it on paper.  What follows is a cocktail of my religious beliefs, my personal beliefs, and the emotional thoughts of an infertile person contemplating life.  The Gospel according to Holly as it were.  

I wonder what Miles felt as he, waiting to come to earth,  watched his future mother and father excitedly prepare for twins that he knew he was not part of.  I wonder if he cried quiet tears for us, knowing the heartache that waited at the other end of the plane ride to Georgia.  I wonder in those quiet, tear-filled moments in the dark of night, when I felt all hope was lost; if he tried whispering in my ears "don't give up Mommy".  I wonder how many times he wanted to come NOW...not wait, because he could see the pain we were feeling.  It must have been hard for my stubborn little guy as he was told: it's not time, you have to wait.  I imagine the excitement he felt as the day of his birth inched closer.  I wonder if in those last few days he stayed close to us, imagining what it would be like to finally be in our physical presence.   The night we first held him, there were no tears.  Only peace.  Like the peace of three hearts who had waited so long to meet, and were finally at rest now that they were beating so close together.  Those first few days as we would stare into each others' eyes I sensed a deep bond that stretched eternities...rather than merely days.

I also wonder a lot about the three babies we lost in miscarriage.  Were those Miles' attempts to join our family years ago that were thwarted by my faulty reproductive system?  Or are there three children waiting for us on the other side, patiently awaiting their turn to be held by mommy?

Then, naturally, my thought string falls to the twins, the Florida baby girl, the Ohio baby boy, and the Georgia baby girl...all of whom watched as we anxiously awaited their arrival.  I believe they knew we would not be their parents; that the plan we so desperately were counting on, would change.  I wonder what they thought...and I wonder if Miles knew them.  

I also wonder if there are any more children waiting to join our family.  I don't currently feel any sort of pressure, like I did before we got Miles, to work our way down the adoption path...or fertility path for that matter.  I feel content as our family of three.  I wonder if there is another child sitting and watching, patiently hoping for the time that I'll feel that "there's someone missing" feeling. 

Unanswered prayers

You ever heard that song?  It's an oldie sung by Garth Brooks.  He sings about how he & his wife went to a hometown football game.  While they were there they ran into his old girlfriend and he remembers how he used to pray every night that "God would make her mine".   But as she walked away he looked at his wife and "then and there thanked the good Lord, for the gifts" in his life.  He then says that one of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. 

A year ago this week we had to endure the heartbreak of two failed adoptions.  A year ago we sat in the Savannah Airport as our hearts ached with the loss of a baby who had almost been ours...the second baby we'd lost that week.  A year ago I was sitting on a plane, from Salt Lake to Nashville and then Nashville to Charlotte and then Charlotte to Savannah...praying with all my might that this adoption would work out and we'd finally be parents.  A year ago we got off the plane and learned that we would be going home empty handed and our hearts broke into a million little pieces and spilled all over the concourse of the airport terminal.  

It wasn't the first time prayers of that kind had been left unanswered.  Fertility treatments for four years had always been accompanied by heartfelt prayers.  The first positive pregnancy test I looked at was followed by tearful pleading that everything would be ok.  The twin adoption situation was filled with long chats with the man upstairs.  And all of those prayers went unanswered.  Pregnancies were lost and adoptions fell apart.

Now, a year later, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for those unanswered prayers.  Yesterday I stood in the pouring rain and watched Nathan gently guide or sweet little boy across a field sprinkled with Easter candy.  I was grateful for the rain, it masked my tears.  Although they were happy tears I didn't want to have to explain to someone why the sight of this rain drenched crowd picking through soaked candy scattered in the grass had reduced me to tears.  If my body hadn't rejected those pregnancies or if any one of our four failed adoptions had gone through I wouldn't have been standing in the rain, on a Navy base in Italy, watching my husband play daddy for our baby boy's first Easter.  We wouldn't have our precious little Miles and I KNOW he is the baby that was meant for our family.  

 

I believe everything happens for a reason...sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together.
~Marilyn Monroe

To my dear friends who are currently dealing with unanswered prayers.  I love you.  I'm sorry your hearts ache.  I remember all too well those helpless, heavy feelings...the long prayer filled nights with tear stained pillows.  My heart aches with you.  I truly hope that you will soon have the desires of your heart granted to you, but in the meantime take heart...just because God doesn't answer a prayer doesn't mean he doesn't hear it and doesn't mean he doesn't love you.  Keep up hope...although your good things are falling apart keep an eye on the horizon for your better things.      

{eternal}

(this post will be heavy on LDS jargon...if you're confused go HERE for some explanations...or email me!)

The day we mailed our adoption application I could never have hoped that exactly two years later I'd be dressed in white, surrounded by loved ones, kneeling across the altar from my sweetheart, having our sweet baby sealed to us for all eternity. 

Saturday October 22nd, our family was made eternal.  It was such a {sweet} experience.  When you discover you will not be able to give birth (don't ever say 'have your own children' it's mean...Miles IS my own) you have to mourn several things.   There are wonderful events we will never get to experience because of our infertility.  BUT there is one thing that we get to experience that others don't...a Temple Sealing.  We get to dress in white as a family, be surrounded by those who love us, and kneel across the alter from each other while we are sealed together FOREVER.   The Temple President was the one who sealed us...which is super cool.  He and his wife adopted children so they understood what it was like to be in our shoes.  Plus we had developed a pretty good relationship with them when we worked in the Temple.  Miles was an angel during the sealing.  He was so alert and attentive, it was as if he knew EXACTLY what was happening.  It's easy to understand when you think that he was just recently in God's presence...he's much closer to the Spirit than us adults. 

Photo by me.  :)

The weather was BEAUTIFUL that day.  Clear, blue sky and it wasn't freezing!  We had many people travel from near and far to be with us on that special day, and it meant the world to us. Here is a photo of most of them...a few snuck away before we could take the picture. 

Photo by Bryn Stucki

The following day Nathan got to realize a dream when he took Miles in his arms and gave him a blessing.  That was something he had longed to do for many, many years.  In fact I think there were moments he wondered if he'd ever get to give a child a blessing.  The blessing was tender...he blessed Miles to be kind, which is something both of us feel strongly is important.  His voice trembled and tears were shed - by more than one eye.  And once again, Miles was an angel.  One of the men at church who stood in the circle told me that when the blessing was finished, Miles looked up and around the circle of men who held him...taking time to look at each face.  Again, I think he recognized the importance of what was happening.  He's a special little guy. 

Photo by me.  :)

Worth a thousand words

 photo by the talented Kim Dusek

Prayers are answered

Miles Elijah

born 5.16.11

adopted 5.18.11

The incredible story to come...but for now I need to just snuggle my new little guy.

Seminary Donuts

Nathan and I spoke in church today.  This is the third Easter that we've been asked to speak in Sacrament Meeting since we've been married.  Either we totally rock or there is just something about the Atonement that we're not grasping and we need a little more studying...but I'm guessing it's because we both needed the message.  It's been a tough couple weeks.  

Anyhoo...I used the following story in my talk and loved it so I thought I'd share it.  It's a perfect story to share on Easter.  Thanks to Bro McKay at Weber Seminary for sharing it all those years ago (I won't tell you how many...but it's double digits)

Seminary Donuts

There was a boy by the name of Steve who was attending Seminary in Utah. In Utah, Seminary classes are held as part of the curriculum. Brother Christianson taught Seminary at this particular school. He had an open-door policy and would take in any student that had been thrown out of another class as long as they would abide by his rules.
 

Steve had been kicked out of his sixth period and no other teacher wanted him, so he went into Brother Christianson's Seminary class. Steve was told that he couldn't be late, so he would come in just seconds before the bell rang and he would sit in the very back of the room. He would also be the first to leave after the class was over.
 

One day, Brother Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him. After class, Brother Christianson pulled Steve aside and said, "You think you're pretty tough, don't you?"
 

Steve's answer was, "Yeah, I do."
 

Then Brother Christianson asked, "How many push-ups can you do?"
 

Steve said, "I do about 200 every night."
 

"200? That's pretty good, Steve." Brother Christianson said, "Do you think you could do 300?"
 

Steve  replied, "I don't know... I've never done 300 at a time."
 

"Do you think you could?" again asked Brother Christianson.
 

"Well, I can try," said Steve.
 

"Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I need you to do 300 in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it." Brother Christianson said.
 

Steve said, "Well... I think I can... yeah, I can do it."
 

Brother Christianson said, "Good! I need you to do this on Friday."
 

Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room.  When class started, Brother Christianson pulled out a big box of donuts. Now these weren't the normal kinds of donuts. They were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited - it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an extra early start on the weekend.
 

Brother Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked,  "Cynthia, do you want a donut?" Cynthia said, "Yes." Brother Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?"

Steve said, "Sure," and jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Brother Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk.
 

Brother Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, "Joe, do you want a donut?" Joe said, "Yes." Brother Christianson asked, "Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?" Steve did ten push-ups; Joe got a donut. And so it went, down the first aisle. Steve did ten pushups for every person before they got their donut. And down the second aisle, till Brother Christianson came to Scott.

Scott was captain of the football team and  center of the basketball team. He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship. When Brother Christianson asked, "Scott do you want a donut?"
 

Scott's reply was "Well, can I do my own pushups?"
 

Brother Christianson said, "No, Steve has to do them. "
 

Then Scott said, "Well, I  don't want one then."
 

Brother Christianson then turned to Steve and asked,  "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?"
 

Steve started to do ten push-ups. Scott said, "HEY! I said I didn't want one!"
 

Brother Christianson said, "Look, this is my classroom, my class, my desks, and my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it", and he put a donut on Scott's desk. Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down, and a little perspiration appeared around his brow.
 

Brother Christianson started down the third row. By now, the students were beginning to get a little angry.

Brother Christianson asked Jenny, "Jenny, do you want a donut?" Jenny said, "No". Then Brother Christianson asked Steve,  "Steve, would you do ten pushups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?" Steve did ten; Jenny got a donut.
 

By now, the students were beginning to say "No" and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks. Steve was also having to really put forth a lot of effort to get these push-ups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, and his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved.
 

Brother Christianson asked Robert to watch Steve to make sure he did ten push-ups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. Robert began to watch Steve closely.
 

Brother Christianson started down the fourth row. During his class, however, some students had wandered in and sat along the heaters along the sides of the room. When Brother Christianson realized this; he did a quick count and saw that there were now 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it.
 

Brother Christianson went on to the next person, the next, and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set.
 

Steve asked Brother Christianson, "Do I  have to make my nose touch on each one?"
 

Brother Christianson thought for a moment, "Well, they're your push-ups. You can do them any way that you want." And Brother Christianson went on.
 

A few moments later, Jason came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled, "NO! Don't come in! Stay out!" Jason didn't know what was going on.
 

Steve picked up his head and said, "No, let him come."
 

Brother Christianson said, "You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to  do ten push-ups for him."

Steve said, "Yes, let him come in.
 

" Brother Christianson said, "Okay, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?"
 

"Yes."
 

"Steve, will you do ten pushups so that Jason can have a donut?"
 

Steve did ten push-ups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down.   Brother Christianson finished the fourth row, then started on those seated on the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each push-up in a struggle to lift him against the force of gravity. Sweat was dropping off his face and, by this time, there was not a dry eye in the room. The very last two girls in the room were cheerleaders and very popular. Brother Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, "Linda, do you want a donut?"
 

Linda, too choked up to talk, just shook her head. Brother Christianson asked Steve, "Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?" Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow push-ups for Linda.   Then Brother Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. "Susan, do you want a donut?"
 

Susan, with tears flowing down her face, asked, "Brother Christianson, can I help him?"
 

Brother Christianson, with tears of his own, said, "No, he has to do it alone."
 

"Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Susan can have a donut?" As Steve very slowly finished his last pushup, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 pushups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.
 

Brother Christianson then said, "And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, pleaded to the Father, "Into thy hands I commend my spirit", and with the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, collapsed on the cross and died - even for those that didn't want His gift."

Happy Easter

Perfect Little Prophetic Epistle

Over the weekend Nathan and I made it a priority to listen to General Conference.  For those not familiar, the LDS Church holds a General Conference twice a year.  In both April & October a set of five 2-hour sessions are held where we are counseled by church leaders.  The Conference is held in Salt Lake City, Utah and broadcast all over the world, in many languages.  In the closing session on Sunday afternoon Elder Jeffrey R. Holland spoke about the Conference itself.  He said that if you listen with the Spirit, you will receive your own "Perfect Little Prophetic Epistle."  In other words, something the Lord meant for you to hear, that He knew you needed.  I'll have to admit that in other conferences I haven't always paid close attention and so many times I haven't come away with my own PLPE.  But this time my heart was very open, in large part to what's been going on in our lives as of late.  So Sunday morning when Elder Paul V. Johnson spoke (you can watch it HERE) I was ready to hear what {I needed} to hear.  He spoke about trials, which is not a new topic; but there was just something about his words that pricked my heart strings.  He spoke about the Crimson Trail in Logan Canyon, a difficult trail that Nathan and I have climbed before; and maybe that is part of why I connected so much with him as he spoke.  He mentions that the trail is difficult, but the hardest part is the last little piece.  I can vouch for that...it is steep and you can't see anything that suggests the effort is going to be worth it.  Elder Johnson said "The views of the canyon are hidden by the cliffs themselves".  There was a part of me on that hike that wanted to turn back...convinced we'd seen enough and couldn't possibly go any further.   It is difficult to see the big picture when you're stuck in the middle of something...especially if that something is difficult.  Elder Johnson agrees:

"In the midst of problems it's nearly impossible to see that the coming blessings far outweigh the pain, humiliation or heartbreak we may be currently experiencing."

But if you press on, just past that tough stretch the panoramic views of the canyon are spectacular...well worth the effort.  Elder Johnson then said:

"A pattern in the scriptures and in life shows that many times the darkest, most dangerous tests immediately precede remarkable events & tremendous growth."

I feel like in our lives, and more specifically in our adoption journey, that we are facing a horrible, painful, exhausting stretch.  Many times over the last few months, and especially the last week I have wanted to give up.  I felt convinced that we'd seen enough and couldn't possibly go any further.  So as I sat, listening to the words spill out of Elder Johnson's mouth I felt comfort.  I hold on to the hope that our remarkable events are not far away.  Yesterday was hard again; and I found myself wanting to give in to the crushing hopelessness I felt.  I prayed for strength as I fell asleep last night on a tear stained pillow, and I woke today to sunshine streaming through my window and feelings of comfort in my soul.

I want to leave you with my Perfect Little Prophetic Epistle...which you can hear for yourself if you want.  It's at about the five minute mark in this video.  The trick for me is remembering this while in the depths of despair...and I'm working on that.

"Time after time we see marvelous blessings on the heel of great trials."

Just the Same

Have you read the April Ensign yet?  It's got some good stuff.  Like this beauty: 

Just the Same

by Diana Lynn Lacey

Sometimes—

God sends rain

Straight from the sky

To nourish the young flower

and it grows.

Sometimes—

God sends rain from the sky

To the mountaintops,

Then over hills and through valleys

Until it reaches the flower

and it grows, just the same.

Sometimes—

God sends a child

Straight from His realm

Into a mother’s arms

and love grows.

Sometimes—

God sends a child

From heaven to another’s arms,

Then over hills and through valleys

Until he reaches the arms of his mother

and love grows, just the same.

I need this

(Item found here.  Image borrowed from therhouse etsy shop)

{love} it

...and love it

My sister-in-law Briana sent me this video tonight...and then she shared it on her blog.  It is {{exactly}} what I needed to hear.  It brought tears to my eyes, and I knew I wanted to share it too. 

What becomes of the broken hearted

It looks as though this adoption is not going to happen. Our hearts are broken. Our hopes of being parents have yet again been shattered.
We know everything happens for a reason...it would be nice if we knew what that reason was, but for now we'll just trust the promise that all will be well...eventually.

Calling upon the heavens

I know I ask this a lot.  But I FIRMLY believe in the power of prayer...especially when the same prayer is echoed by multiple voices.   There is a huge, long story involved...but here's the short of it:

Back in April we met a wonderful woman, who we'll call C.  She is pregnant with girl/boy twins and is due August 22nd (she's 36 weeks pregnant).  She decided that adoption was what was best for her and her tiny miracles...and she chose us to be the parents.  Everything was smooth sailing until the first week of July...there have been several complicated, ulcer-inducing snags since then.  

We need your prayers 

Pray for C
 ...that she'll have the health, courage and strength needed to get through what is coming her way.  

Pray for the two tiny babies she carries
...that they will arrive safe and healthy. 

Pray for those who oppose her
 ...that their hearts will be softened.  

I need your help

I know it seems as though as of late I have been asking for that a lot. Today has been a bad day and it is only 2 in the afternoon. Many tears have already been shed.

Our little Frank is very sick. The vet believes it to be renal failure (which is odd considering that he is only two years old). We are treating him aggressively over the weekend and hoping for improvement by our appointment on Tuesday. If he doesn't show any improvement, he will never get better. We will then be forced to make the choice that every pet lover dreads.

I know there are those of you who have pets and understand just how much a part of your family they are. Our fur kids are our kids. In the absence of children these sweet little guys have filled the holes in our hearts left by that aching desire. They have shared good times with us and have cuddled us through the bad.

I know there is a God, and that He does hear our prayers. I am asking that any of you who have faith in a supreme being, please pray for us. Pray that our Frankie will get well. His chances are very slim so we need all the divine intervention we can get on this. I know it seems trivial to pray for an animal, but I just don't think...no...I KNOW that I cannot lose another baby. We've lost two kitties already, along with our three human babies. My heart is just not strong enough to take it.

Should you feel so inclined

Our realtor is fantastic. She and her hubby have been working this week on finishing the bathroom in the basement of our home that is for sale. We are hoping that having a second fully finished bathroom will help in the sale of our house. It NEEDS to sell.

So I am inviting any of you who will be fasting tomorrow to join Nathan and I in a fast that our house will sell quickly.

Prayers

I will update you all soon on my very adventurous last week (plane trips and wedding stuff and the zoo, oh my!) but first I need something. Our house still hasn't sold (five months on the market) and I still have yet to find a job (going on three months searching). The combination of the two is putting us in serious financial trouble and if something doesn't change pretty quick we will be in big, deep do do. Seriously. Like the B word. (which would surely complicate adoption later on...)

Our realtor is having an open house this Saturday. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Pray that someone will see the house and want to buy it asap. Pray that one of the dozens of resumes I send out EVERY week will be seen by someone who will want to hire me.
Thank you. I know prayers work, I just know it.