Found

I have caught something.

It's all consuming and makes my heart race.

I find myself nervously bouncing my knees even as I write,

thinking of this thing that has captured me.

It feels like I have {finally} found myself amidst this fever.

Found the self that was hidden for so many years under painful scabs

of infertility and childlessness; under grief and pain.

That self who has finally broken free from the shadows

and let me know of her existence.

This fever that has now encapsulated me was brought by this new self.

This new self that I love;

for she found me.

Roots or Wings

It doesn't happen much.  In fact, the opposite happens more frequently...but every once in a while I itch for stability.  It is usually triggered by a friend's post about a new house or a photo of a group of friends who have been friends and lived near each other for more years than you can count on both hands.  I can't tell you what sparked this most current longing, but it is sparked none the less.  I find myself longing for a house with a leaky faucet that needs fixing and a basement to fill with holiday decorations.  A lawn that needs mowed and a tub that needs caulked.  A yard with a large oak tree perfect for building a tree house.  I find myself wanting that secure feeling of roots.  Knowing that you can buy that table or couch or whatever and not have to figure out what piece of furniture you'll throw out to compensate for the increase in the weight of your household goods. (we are given a limit and have to stay under it for our moves or we pay the extra out of pocket)  Knowing that we could buy that expensive rug or piece of furniture and not have to worry if it would fit in our next house.  Knowing that the fine china I want to collect won't be broken in our next move.  Hoping to be able to do all those cute little home improvement projects I see on Pinterest.  I wish we had a neighbor who had a son also Miles' ago who he could be friends with from now until high school graduation.  I wish we had a neighborhood that held a traditional 4th of July block party, and had trick-or-treaters for Halloween, and streets lined with houses covered with Christmas lights. 

Nathan echoed some of these same sentiments today while we were cleaning up dinner.  We know that we are blessed beyond measure to live this Navy lifestyle.  It affords us the great opportunity to see many things we never dreamed of seeing, and the chance to live where others go on vacation.  BUT, you can't have both roots and wings (name that movie).  Ours is a winged lifestyle, it always has been and always will be (at least until retirement in 12 years) and I wouldn't change it for the world. But still I find myself longing for a porch swing where I can sit and watch Miles play in the yard with his best friend and an attic in which to store the memories. 

Resolutions: edited

So I've had a bit more time to ponder my resolutions and I want to (in typical Holly fashion) add some.  Hopefully I'm not biting off more than I can chew.  I am also editing a couple.  

Here is what I resolved:

- Be able to sing Oh Holy Night in church for Christmas...in Italian
- Have my photography studio up and running
- Keep going with Isagenix and get to my goal weight
- Be able to carry on a conversation with someone in Italian - without Google Translate
- Mail my Christmas cards by December 1st
- De-clutter every room in our house
- Catch up Nathan's Navy scrapbook

Here's what I'd like to add/edit:

- 20 pages in Nathan's Navy scrapbook (edit)
I realized that completely catching up his book may not happen...so I'd at least like to get a big chunk done.
-  20 pages in Miles' scrapbook (new)
I want to try and catch up how far behind I am...before he leaves on his mission or goes to college.
- Read the entire Book of Mormon  (new)
Shouldn't be too hard. :)
- Read one book a month - of my choice. (new)
I want to keep my brain lucid...and lately all I do is read kids books to Miles and recite nursery rhymes.  All of which are AWESOME...but I just want to make sure I have words other than "Old MacDonald had a farm" in my brain. 
- Keep up with the Sunday School lessons (new)
Working in the Primary keeps me pretty out of the loop as far as Sunday School goes.  Well let's be honest...that and the fact that Gospel Doctrine class is taught in another language.  I want to keep up so I'm going to study on my own. 

Here goes nothing!

Buon anniversario Italia!!

A year ago today our little family of three plus one cat and a whole lot of luggage stepped off a plane to begin the next chapter of our lives...in Italy.  A lot has happened in that year: we've added another kitty to the family, traveled a lot, had many adventures, made new friends, and grown to love Italy. 

The night we landed in Italy

I can't believe one year is already gone and we only have two left.  Here's hoping the next two go as great as the first one.

Buon anniversario Italia!!

Resolved: 2013

**EDIT** I have updated my resolutions...you can find that post HERE.

I feel great with how much I did with my 2012 resolutions.  I hope 2013 is also a great year...with that in mind, here it goes:

- Be able to sing Oh Holy Night in church for Christmas...in Italian
This one will take some work.  Oh Holy Night is a tough song to begin with, and doing it in another language will make it that much more difficult...but it is something I want to do.  I want to sound good, and also not butcher the pronunciations...so practice, practice, practice is what I'll have to do. 

- Have my photography studio up and running
It is well on its way...just need to give it a little push and keep it going. 

- Keep going with Isagenix and get to my goal weight
Once my parents head back home Nathan and I are hitting it hard again.  I want to be able to pick out a cute swimsuit for summer and not worry that it needs to tuck my tummy and cover my thighs.

- Be able to carry on a conversation with someone in Italian - without Google Translate
I can communicate just fine now...between my language skills, hand gestures, and Google Translate.  But I want to be able to sit and chat with some of the women at church, and my landlord's family...without having to use a translator and excessive amounts of pantomiming.  

- Mail my Christmas cards by December 1st
This is kind of a nerdy New Year's Resolution...but I had all the best intentions this year and our Christmas cards are going in the mail tomorrow.  Next year I'd rather people get them before Christmas than after.  

- De-clutter every room in our house
I would ideally like to do this in January and then KEEP it de-cluttered.  We shall see...I have intense hoarding genes on both sides of my family.  Poor Nathan is the opposite...and I think sometimes he wants to wack me over the head with bags of the stuff that I hoard. 

- Catch up Nathan's Navy scrapbook
I know I will never be 100% caught up with scrapbooking...especially at the rate that I take pictures.  BUT I would really like to have Nathan's Navy stuff all caught up so I have less of a mountain to scrapbook when he retires (which isn't for another 12 years but I'd hate to have 12 years of pictures to scrapbook at the last minute)

What about you...any resolutions?