Tomorrow is Mother's Day. All over the US, people will be celebrating their mothers. Over the last five years Mother's Day has become an increasingly difficult holiday for me. I {{love}} my mother, grandmothers, mother-in-law and all my sister-in-laws...but the day is a celebration to all things tender to us. It is a celebration of something I want so much, but have not yet been able to have. We usually plan ahead to spend the day away from family, friends and church; away from the celebrations that sting a little too much on the wounds deep in my heart. Sitting in church, waiting for the uncomfortable moment when all the women are asked to stand is like waiting for execution. I know they are having everyone stand so as to not exclude anyone...but standing there, waiting for my card or carnation or whatever token is being distributed, I feel like a fraud. Like there is a big flashing sign on my chest that says "Not a mother!" By the end of the meeting I am a mess, and I would rather weep in the privacy of my own home.
It has been a little different this year. Maybe that's because I feel like we're finally moving closer to the reality of someday actually being parents. Our adoption journey thus far hasn't been the smoothest, or the quickest...but at least we're moving towards a goal. But the day I do get the lucky distinction of being called Mother, it will be due to the selfless sacrifice of another. The best day of my life, will be the worst of hers.
So today as you prepare for the festivities tomorrow will bring, take a moment to think of those brave women who made the tough choice. Say a prayer for them. If you know one, hug her.
If you have some spare time, these two blogs will give you some insight into the love that goes into the decision to place a baby through adoption (please never say GIVE UP for adoption...it makes me cringe): Oh, but just a warning - you better have Kleenex handy. Seriously.
You can read the history of Birthmother's Day HERE.
4 comments:
Holly, I friggin' love you. So much. :)<3
Hi Holly, I know most people thing of a mother as having some one to care for them. I belevie this will happen for you. In the mean time, thik of your fur babies, you have cared for them just as you would have your own child.
In my eyes you are a mother just by the meaning of the word.
God bless.
Your friend in RI
thinking of you my friend. much love.
I absolutely applaud the woman that sent me to a different home! She made a brave choice and I know my life was a better one because of it. I can't wait for you to adopt! You'll get there!!
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