Monday, June 27, 2011

Things I've learned

I always heard having a baby would change your life...some things I expected...others have surprised me.  Here are some things I've learned so far.
  • There is a long list of tasks that, in actuality, only require one hand...although I have been using two hands to do these same tasks my whole life.  
  • Getting up, dressed, showered, and a major undertaking.
  • I have a much less sensitive gag reflex than I expected.  
  • I have pretty good balancing skills...toting a carseat full of baby is tricky in 4" heels.
  • I need a lot less sleep than I thought I required...although I should mention that Miles does sleep 7 hours at night.  Bless his little soul.
  • I will bounce/sway even if I don't have Miles in my arms.  I will never stand still again.  
  • Snuggling to my sweet baby will cure even the bluest of moods.  

Monday, June 20, 2011

Happy {finally} a Father's Day!

My dear sweet Nathan, 

Seeing you be a father to our little Miles has been incredible.  I have always loved you but watching you be a father has made that love grow in ways I never imagined.  
Happy First Father's Day Sweetie!


Happy Father's Day to my Daddy.  Love you.  

Friday, June 17, 2011


One Month...attempt

I can't believe our little guy is one month old today.  That month FLEW by...I need a time turner to make sure I'm not missing anything.  I decided that I wanted to take 'progressive' pictures of Miles his first know the kind...picture of baby with a certain stuffed animal each month to show how much he's grown.  I had the bright idea to try and take a picture of Miles with Winston.  Winston took one look at the baby and had other ideas. 

Why is that thing by me??

I'm outta here

No dad...I will NOT sit by that mini human. 

Stay tuned for plan B.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Worth a thousand words

 photo by the talented Kim Dusek

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

::Miles:: Part V: his name

(Part I can be found HERE, part II can be found HERE part III can be found HERE part IV can be found HERE)
This post could also be called "The one where we KNEW Miles was meant to be in our family"

Back when we started trying to have children we had a couple names we really liked...unfortunately they were all girl names.  When we were planning on adopting the twins last summer we started looking for boy names we liked...the list was short.  We are band geeks, so Miles (as in Miles Davis) came to mind.  It was also fresh on our minds because we had been watching LOST and one of the characters was named Miles.  It was our front runner boy name and stayed in that position since.  The problem was we could not find a middle name we liked paired with it.  We wanted it to mean something, so we tried all the family names we could think of...Nathan's middle name, his father's name, his grandfather's name, same with my side of the family.  But we could never come up with something we loved...something that just rolled off the tongue.  

I remember telling someone once that maybe we couldn't come up with one because we weren't meant to.  Fast forward to this situation.  We knew we wanted to call him Miles, but still couldn't decide on a middle name.  Amy called us and said that T had been calling the baby by a name the whole pregnancy and wondered if we would consider using it.  I told her we would consider it...but I wanted to know what it was first.  Afterall, I didn't want a baby named Miles Crowbar or Miles Hankypanky.  When she told me the name it sucked my breath away: Elijah.  I loved it.  It was actually on our short list last summer...and it also happens to be my maternal great-grandfather's middle name.  Seriously.  Nathan is not one for signs...but even he couldn't dispute that her using the name Elijah was a sign that Miles was meant to be in our home.  When we met with T on placement day we told her we planned on using the name as his middle he'd always have a connection to her and yet it was still a family name.  She was touched that we would keep it and use it somehow. 

Many people have asked if we named him Miles because of all the miles we had to travel to get him.  I had never considered it until someone mentioned it on Facebook.  The answer is no...but it does fit.  We did have to travel MANY miles...both literally and get our little Miles.  But I tell you what...all those miles were totally worth it.

::Miles:: Part IV: placement day

(Part I can be found HERE, part II can be found HERE part III can be found HERE

We didn't get much sleep...when you factor in the nerves and the caffeine I didn't really expect to get any.  We got up, showered and got ready, ate (read: tried to eat) breakfast and were at the hospital by 8:30am.  While we waited for Amy in the parking lot we sat in the car so afraid of what could happen.  We were so worried...we were just waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under us.

We met Amy for the first time in person in the parking lot of the hospital.  She seemed so calm...we were not.  I had hardly eaten anything for breakfast and I felt like I was going to throw up from the nerves.  We got into the hospital, up to the right floor and Amy called the phone to be admitted into the Mother & Child wing of the hospital.  This is what we heard:

"Hi, I'm here for T"
Silence...confused stare.
"What do you mean she's not here?  Where did she go?"
"Well can I come back there and talk to you?"

Amy hung up the phone, turned to us and said "She's not here".  Nathan went white as a ghost and sunk to the floor in heavy silence.  I thought to myself, this cannot be happening to us again.  Amy looked calm, but was obviously confused.  We had JUST been in the hospital 7 hours earlier...we had held the baby.  Where could she have gone?!  Just then the hospital social worker came into the hallway.  She had been in a meeting downstairs when she thought "we have an adoption happening today, I guess I should go up and make sure everything is going smoothly."  Amy asked her if she knew where T had gone...the social worker was as perplexed as we were.  She said T was still on the patient list and that she would go find out what was going on.  She badged into the restricted area while we waited felt like an ETERNITY.  All I could think is that a 27 hour empty-armed drive home was going to really suck.  When the social worker came back through the doors, she was all smiles.  Her words: "she's still here" washed a relief over me like I have never known.   Apparently there had just been some miscommunication between Amy & the nurses, but all was well.  I am SO very glad that the social worker listened to her gut and came upstairs when she did.

Nervous feet waiting in the hospital corridor.

We waited out by the nurses station and filled out some paperwork for the hospital while Amy went in with T and had her sign paperwork.  Every time someone would come out of her room with a worried or somber look I thought "this is comes the bad news."  It took longer than we thought it an hour longer.  I knew it wouldn't be like ordering a hamburger but it was over an hour before we saw Amy.  There had been trouble with the was his first adoption and there were some things he wasn't sure of/comfortable with so he decided to NOT do Amy had to go with plan B.  (I just have to say again...Amy is so awesome.  There is NO WAY this would have happened without her) 

While all that was going on, the nurses put the baby into his carseat, where he had to sit for 2 hours while they tested his oxygen levels.  They wanted to make sure he'd be ok for the drive home.  We waited in the waiting room and watched the mandatory video (which we skipped most of...I didn't need to know how to care for my woman parts after giving birth...and I didn't need to hear the breastfeeding part either) and eventually Amy came in for our turn at paperwork.

Signing paperwork. 

After we signed paperwork and Amy declared "That's it.  He's yours"  there were still no tears.  It still just felt so surreal.  It was something we had ached for and cried over for SEVEN years...and after a (ton) of signatures that was it.  He was ours.  Our wait was over.   We snapped a picture with Amy and then collected all our copies of the paperwork.

Now was the time to meet T.  Now the nerves set in again.  I knew that papers were signed and nothing could revoke them, but I was still nervous.  Would she like us?  Would she think we were good enough to raise this baby?  Amy went in the room first and we followed.  T was sitting in the bed.  When I saw her she felt familiar.  I walked right up and gave her a hug and told her thank you...she said "No, thank YOU".   It floored me.  Nathan hugged her and then we took the next hour to chat with her.  It was wonderful.  It felt natural, not awkward like I expected.  We presented her with the gifts we'd brought and asked her for a few tips.  We sensed she was ready to be alone and we left her with Amy, but not before we took a few pictures.

When we walked out of her room I suddenly realized just how hungry I was.  The nerves were gone, and the happy calm had set in.  The sweet nurses got me a sandwich, a Diet Coke & some chips.  I headed into the nursery where I arrived just in time to feed our baby.  I got to spend the next hour rocking our baby in the rocking chair in the hospital's nursery.  Nathan left me in the hospital and took the car to get serviced...he hadn't had time to do it before we left on Monday and we were WAY overdue for an oil change.  He got back in time to change his first diaper and feed his first baby.

We are parents!

We got everything packed up, and signed the discharge papers.  We got Miles strapped into his carseat and into the stroller and walked out of the nursery, only to run into Amy & T in the hallway.  They had come to say goodbye to us and to Miles.  Nathan and I watched as this sweet woman bent over the carseat, kissed her baby on the head and whispered goodbye.  We hugged her again and Nathan asked if there was anything we could do for her.  "Love my baby" was all she said.  Amy took a couple pictures of the three of us by the stroller and we waved good-bye.  A nurse followed us out to the car...which was such a weird feeling...we were leaving the hospital with a baby...and no one was running after us yelling "baby stealers!"  We got Miles all snapped in, hugged the nurse and drove away as a newly formed family of three.