Saturday, April 26, 2008


To my friend Kara who welcomed her long awaited baby daughter Annalee Joy into their home on Tuesday. You should check on over and see her - she's precious.

All good (?) things come to an end

I attended Nathan's last concert (well, unless you count his Senior Recital which will be in May) last night. It was Concerto Night with the Orchestra and it was really nice. As I was sitting in the concert hall the finality of it all struck me and at once I was sad and then a wave of worry washed over me. We still do not know what we are doing with our lives post-graduation...which is a little scary because it is getting awfully close. (like 40 days close) And while I have not loved our time here (understatement of the year, right??!?), it is still our home right now, and against all my will I have inadvertently let some roots start growing under my wanting-to-wander feet.

We're trying to flesh out some details on our various options to see which direction we should go. We've sort of narrowed it to two, but those are VASTLY different...different area codes, different jobs, different elevations, different hairdressers (and every girl knows a good one is KILLER to find!) etc, etc. It has all been a test of my OCD to let everything try and work itself out. But if it hasn't worked itself out by the 22nd of May our future may get one big specific push in a Navy direction. That is our 2-year post active duty date...after that date you start losing advancement points, if all the wrinkles haven't been ironed out by then Nathan may be ironing creases in his shirts again.

I would like to stay here just long enough to finish my degree. I already have two minors completed - the result of two 'false starts' in degree programs I thought I wanted to pursue - plus it is significantly less expensive here...but Nathan needs to find a job that pays well and still looks good on paper (for adoption profiles) - which is tough here. College towns are notorious for their low paying jobs because hey, if you don't want it there are 15 other people in line behind you who will do it or less.

So here's to Nathan catching the job - I'll keep you posted.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

You'll never guess...

what Mother Nature is doing right now...
I wonder if I should send her a reminder e-mail that it is APRIL 24th!??!?

Monday, April 21, 2008

I am...

All About Me Survey
I Amindecisive
I Wanta baby
I Havea great hubby
I Wishto be debt free
I Hatejudgemental hypocrites
I Fearnever having children
I Hearthe radio next to my desk
I Searchebay multiple times a day
I Wonderif I made the right choice
I Regretnot finishing my degree in 2002
I Lovemy hubby and fur babies
I Achefrom my run Saturday
I Alwaysneed more sleep
I Usuallywear wicked cool shoes
I Am Notfond of spiders
I Danceto the beat of my own drummer
I Singwhenever no one is listening
I Neverstay as organized as I want to
I Rarelyfinish my to do lists
I Cryway too much
I Am Not Alwaysfriendly...yes, really.
I Loseemotional control
I'm Confusedabout where to go next in life
I Needto win a million dollars
I Shouldget back to work ;)
Take This Survey at

If you read this - consider yourself tagged.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Just one of many
LogoThere are
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Yep there are 192 other people in the good old US of A with my same first and last name...thanks to RYANN for tipping me off to the site.
LogoThere are
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

This is how many of me there are with my same maiden name.

Here are some stats on my first name:

There are 177,766 people in the U.S. with the first name Holly.
Statistically the 340th most popular first name.
More than 99.9 percent of people with the first name Holly are female.

So what about you?? (Some of you I already know because I played with it and searched your names already...sneaky me) Not sure how accurate this info is, or what their source is...but it is fun.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Deal or No Deal

What an adventure!! I think everyone should attend a casting call at some point. It was such a fun time and I got in many hours of quality people watching. So here's the recap:

I had decided the night before not to go down and spend the night in line - it was supposed to be a balmy 30 degrees and I didn't feel like loosing any extremities. Plus I needed to get some stuff ready for Nathan's recital which was Saturday night. I was busy doing misc stuff and didn't get to bed until when my alarm went off at 2:00am I was still pretty sleepy but the prospect of winning a million dollars was enough for me to get my butt out of bed. I left the house at 3:30 and drove to my mom & dad's to pick my mom up. We got down to RC Willey (where the casting call was held) a little after 5. There was NO parking in the RC Willey lot - see sign above - unless you wanted your car towed, but we were lucky enough to get a spot right up front on the street next to the parking lot. We brought some chairs to sit in and books to read to pass the time. It was so weird to see all those people waiting in the dark...some were in tents, or on blow up mattresses with sleeping bags. We actually did pretty good because the people only about 10-15 spots in front of us had stayed there all night so it looked as if we were the first of the morning arrivals. Here's a pic of mom and I waiting in the dark...this was before our noses were red from the cold.

Here's a pic where you can see just how many people were there BEFORE us...crazy psychos.

About 7am a guy with a blow horn came out and said they were getting ready to move us in, please pack up all your stuff and get ready. As people packed up their stuff there grew to be large empty spaces and then panic ensued. Instead of everyone just filing along the 'Disneyland back and forth lines' they just started scooting under the tapes and the whole group surged forward...because if you didn't you'd be left in the dust. People who hadn't packed up their stuff yet just let it's one group's 'leftovers'...a TV, a lovesac, a guitar, there was even a generator and gas to run the TV...and pizza and diet Pepsi.

When people didn't know where to put their stuff they left it on the 'grassy knoll'...I wonder if anyone saw the second gunman??

Everyone got all excited at this point. Makeup and hairspray and lipgloss were everywhere you looked. As we neared the tiny door to enter the warehouse everyone got excited...the time was near! Well, all that hope and excitement was squashed when we entered the warehouse and saw even more Disneyland style back and forth lines. See below:

We weaved our way through and came to a stop and filled out more paperwork that was given to us. It was at this point I wondered if my choice of shoes was the smartest...I was wearing #78 (see post below). As the warehouse slowly filled up everyone settled in for what seemed to be a long wait. About 30 minutes after entering, a casting director for Deal or No Deal got up in front and explained how things would work. She told us that they were not only casting for DOND but for many other NBC gameshows...some of which are not even on air yet. She said that if selected we would hear from the show within six months. Then they started taking people up for auditions. There was a section of the warehouse that had big black curtains up to screen it off from the thousands of onlookers. See: Right where the bright circle glare is right smack dab in the middle of the pic is my head.

Within the section there were 6 (maybe there were 8??) tables each with a casting person. When we got up to the front we were divided into groups of 10 and shuffled to a table. We were each then given 20 seconds to say our name, age, occupation and something interesting about ourselves. Mine went something like this:

My name is Holly _ (insert my last name here)__ and I want to go to Hollywood! I am 27 fabulous years young and I currently work two jobs to put my husband through school. I am a receptionist during the day and I wait tables at night. We can't have children and would love to adopt one child from each continent - which will cost us a small fortune, and that is where you come in.

They were strict on the 20 seconds thing too...if you went over they just said "Next" and you were done. After all ten of us said our thing the casting guy pointed to me and two other ladies and said you three stay and the big casting director came over. He came right up to me and asked what my story was...I wasn't sure if I was supposed to repeat what I had previously said, so I said something else. I told him I had a strange fascination with shoes and these (motioning towards my shoes) are number 78. He turned to the woman on my left and she started her thing and all she got out was her name and he walked away. Our casting guy then signed our papers and then directed us to another line. We waited there and went behind another curtain to another casting groups of 10 again only this time we got 15 seconds. I said the thing about adoption again and the casting lady said "That's a lot of kids." I said that you can't count Antarctica so it was only 6. She asked three ladies to stay behind for another question and asked the rest of us to leave our applications with her.

I have to admit that I was kind of sad that I didn't get asked to stay behind again. But I figured that out of 10,000 or so that auditioned, only 2,500 (maybe even less) made it past the first cut so that is pretty good. I hope I made an impression on someone and that I get a call to go on one of the shows.

After we left RC Willey my mom and I went to lunch and then to DSW and then home so I could make it to Nathan's recital. I did get another pair of shoes and an ADORABLE bag (thanks mom!)

Overall, it was a great time. I had fun hanging out with my mom all day - she is sure great to get up at some ungodly hour and come wait in the line with me. I am lucky to have her! The people watching was pretty fantastic...and I tell you what, some people should never be let out of their mobile homes - except to go to Walmart... One woman with really short hair actually had balloons tied to a tiny little ponytail at the top of her head. We began to affectionately call her Pebbles. This is the best picture I could get of her, she's in the blue coat.

HERE is the KSL news story if you want to read more about it.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Meet #78

Meet the newest member of our (well, my shoe) family:

#78 came to me all the way from Florida. The dark pink is a bit darker than the picture shows, and I absolutly LOVE these shoes. I think I may wear them for the Deal or no Deal casting call.

While I was parading the new shoes around I actually had the thought that I may have too many shoes (gasp!) so I am going to put my memory to the test. I am going to write all 78 pairs down and see if I can 'name them one by one'...if I can, then I'm golden, if I can't then I will be forced to downsize my shoe family.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

That's not nice Charlie

Taylor, whom I work with, had this on his blog...I do not know the kids, neither does he and I'm not really sure how they came across this but it is funny...the accent makes it even cuter
(pause the music player so you can hear the video better)

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

...when I grow up...

(The following is a long, long I have needed to just put down "on paper" to get it out of my head...if you don't feel like reading it, I completely understand)

I remember getting asked a lot when I was little: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" For the longest time I always wanted to be a lawyer...because I was 'good at arguing' I would always say. I don't remember exactly when that version of an ideal adulthood faded, but eventually I decided it wasn't for me. Since that time I have floundered on a career decision...I wanted to be a psychologist, a sociologist, an accountant, a marketing executive and currently...well, I have no idea.

Once you're married your fates are intertwined. What I want to be when I grow up has to co-exist and be compatible with what he wants to be when he grows up. We have been facing this dilemma the last few months as we try to decide what life will hold for us once Nathan graduates in June.

We have no shortage of options, but that is part of the problem...give us too many options for a decision and we won't be able to make one. Add to that the complexity that adoption brings to the table and it confuses us even more. Nathan heard of a university in Florida offering an assistantship for French Horn grad students...which would be awesome except still being in school doesn't make you 'marketable' in the adoption market. Women and girls who are choosing adoption want a financially stable home to place their baby in and when you are a grad student (especially a music grad student) you don't have time to work, thus you are not financially stable in the eyes of a potential birthmother.

We have thought about the Navy, but that decision presents a Catch-22. We want children, but cannot have biological ones, so we need to adopt, which is expensive (average US domestic is about $20K)...and when we do have kids we want them to know their grandparents, cousins, etc. If we join the Navy we will have the $ to adopt, but not be close to family...yet if we stay here I don't see anyway for us to adopt because Nathan will have a difficult time finding a job in his chosen career path that has health insurance and pays enough for me to work only one job...or not work at all once we have children.

All this worrying about where we will be in three months is making me crazy. If we need to sell our house it needs to be on the market now and if we are going to move 2800 miles I need to get planning the move now...and finding a job and somewhere to live now. Feeling so out of control does not sit well with my OCD brain.

I can't help but wonder if our plans would be different if things had been different for us when we moved here. We got a wonderful house - which happens to be in the WORST Ward (congregation) in the Church. We are surrounded on all sides by families who do not speak English and have no desire to know or like us. If it weren't for my waitress job I would have no friends here (really, I am NOT exaggerating this...if I wanted to have a 'girl night' here tonight I would have no friends to invite...yes, Mom, I know you would come). We feel like outcasts and lesser members of the community because of the way we have been treated (or in actuality, NOT treated). If we had made friends here and felt welcomed and loved in our congregation and could at least communicate with our neighbors we might want to stay here...which is kind of sad that we would sell our house and move just to get out of the black hole we currently occupy. It is double sad because I LOVE LOVE LOVE our house. I love having the space we have, I love being able to paint or decorate how I want, I love having a scrapbook room... and if we moved there is NO WAY we could get a house anywhere else.

So there you have it...all the things that have been swirling around in my brain for the last few weeks. It does feel better, although not less overwhelming, to have them out. And as far as making a decision, we are meeting with a Recruiter with the Navy tomorrow for lunch...I have a barrage of questions for him. I'll keep you posted.

Monday, April 07, 2008


You may notice on the sidebar of my blog that my 'blogroll' looks a bit different. I upgraded to one that will tell you the last time someone updated...and whoever falls to the bottom of the list will be beheaded...I'm just kidding.. he he

They are still working out the bugs, I'm not sure why Janus, Erin & Cindy's don't show an update time...hopefully that will fix itself soon.

Does anyone know if this is the only version of this out on the web or is there another?? I got this by clicking onto Blogger in Draft. I may have to find another service if they don't fix the bug that's 'discriminating' against Erin, Janus & Cindy :(

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Brother Snoop Dogg?

Um, so, I can across this little gem of an article and I have to say I am a bit skeptical... this has to be some sort of an April Fools' joke, right?? Notice the date of the article.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Deal or No Deal??

I learned that Deal or No Deal is having a casting call near my house in a couple weeks. I really want to go because we need some money so we can pay off debt and buy us a kid. BUT I am one of those people who obsesses about things and I don't want to spend the nest two weeks obsessing about it and get my hopes all up and then have them dashed...
So, should I go for it?? If I do, do you have any advice?