Saturday, December 30, 2006


I just popped onto CNN and I saw that Saddam Hussein has been hanged (is that grammatically correct?) I am kind of surprised that it actually happened...but in a way I feel sad for him - because in some ways I think that his trial and execution were too highly political...not that he didn't do things that were bad - it is just a shame that 'taking out Saddam' was part of a political agenda.

Thursday, December 28, 2006


well, I have to admit, the 'self obsorbed' comment threw me a bit...and the more research I have done, the more surprised I have been...the person who left that comment has frequented my blog...for a while, in fact they checked it this morning.... I have their IP address and know what city and state they reside in...and all I can say is SHAME ON YOU. p.s. it is spelled Absorbed....just for the next time you feel like being a jerk and leaving uncalled for comments in someone else's blog

All nastiness aside, we had an ok Christmas...ate lots...played games with siblings...ate more, etc. I used some Christmas $$ to get me the Cricut...which is totally awesome and will make scrapbooking SO much easier. I also got the mixer I have been wanting for 2 years now so I am pretty excited.

In other great news, I gave my notice at the baby & jewelry stores today. I just can't work there any longer...I need a job where I can be of more use...where I can put to use the skills I have gained over the they are I am on the job junt yet again....hopefully we'll have more luck this time!

I would like to thank those of you who posted nice comments...and Ryann, I've checked your blog and see no new I am hoping that means a new little one for you and Terry and the girls! :) :)

Friday, December 22, 2006

Merry ... Birthday?!

Not sure how many of you know b-day is actually ON Christmas....not within the month, or close to but DEAD ON the 25th of December. And that is NOT why my name is Holly...

So some years are ok...but most of the time I kinda feel greatly overshadowed by all the festivities and such...not that it is a bad thing to celebrate my b-day the same time they celebrate the birth of Christ...but...

The worst thing is when people say: "Well everyone celebrates your birthday!"....actually not...roughly 33% of the population of the world is not everyone AND they are not celebrating MY birthday, and I would dare say a majority are not celebrating ANY birthday....but rather a 'buy-me-stuff-day.'

It's not that I want a parade or a national holiday named after me...but a "Happy Birthday" that is not immediately prior to or following a "Merry Christmas" would be nice... :( and if someone should choose to get me a present...that it would be wrapped in pink or brown or purple or even plain green or red...but not green AND red...or be adorned with reindeer or santa or candy canes or any other Christmas things.

Does this make me a scrooge?

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Our Kids

Aren't they just SO cute...sometimes I forget that I want to kill the dog...

I got a brithday package from a good friend in Rhode Island and Winston LOVED the box...he will sleep in it ANYWHERE it we end up hauling it all around the house for him...I think was his way of telling us to move back! :) Thanks Lu!

We brought Besta in for the first time...after a LONG bath...and he and Winston actually got along pretty well...Winston loves to have Besta lick his ears...which is good cause Besta LOVES to lick...

Winston has to follow Besta when Besta eats...Winston drinks out of his stinking cute...


So when I lived in Rhode Island I made a little bit of spending money by selling scrapbook albums (well...mostly I just made enough to feed my addiction to scrapbooking...) So I have started a blog where I will just post the pictures of the albums I made and actually took photos of (which wasn't all of them...stupid, stupid me...) If you know of anyone who is interested in buying an album from me I do Large (12x12), Medium and Small (brag book style). I do weddings, baby books, Kitty books, pretty much anything.

The address is:, check it out! (There is also a link on my side-menu)

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

!!! GRADES !!!

So I just checked my online account at the University and all my grades are posted....I got:

Social Problems: A
International Relations: B+
Economics: A

So I got a 3.77 for the semester!!


Sunday, December 17, 2006


Nathan and I attended the funeral of our baby neice, Hannah yesterday. She was stillborn, her due date was in January...they had her older siblings be the pallbearers...and man, seeing those cute children (the oldest is 12...maybe 13) carry the casket that held their baby sister was heart-breaking. It just reminds me how fragile life is...losing our baby and now this just reinforces to me that every baby conceived and carried full-term to be born born is a miracle.

Thursday, December 14, 2006


I just got back from finishing my LAST final! It feels so good...and now I think I will go to sleep as studying for these finals has left me rather sleep deprived!

I should know my grades within a week or so, when I find out I'll post them.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Christmas Survey

feel free to copy this 'survey' and post all your answers in my comments section...I'd love to hear them!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? paper, I LOVE to wrap presents!

2. Real tree or artificial? I prefer real - but artificial is just more practical in the dry climate where we live.

3. When do you put up the tree? The last few years it has been about a week before Christmas, but this year we did it the weekend of Thanksgiving.

4. When do you take the tree down? Nathan is itching to get it down the day after

5. Do you like egg nog? mmm...eggnog...

6. Favorite gift received as a child? bikes

7. Do you have a nativity scene? We have 2. A Willow Tree Nativity and a miniature porcelain one.

8. Hardest person to buy for? My dad

9. Easiest person to buy for? Winston - Greenies, a box and a fluff and he's good

10. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards? Mail of can't stamp an e-mail!

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Hmmm...underwear used to tick me off when I was little...

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? The original Grinch (the new one is good too...but nothing beats the classic!)

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? August :) I love to shop!

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? All the peppermint flavored things

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Clear

17. Favorite Christmas song(s)? Once in Royal David's City, and big band arrangements of Christmas tunes

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Usually we travel, but we will be home this year.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Of course!

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Usually a star, but the tree is too tall and so just a big bow.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? We open PJ's (yes mom, I already know what is in that sack...) on Christmas Eve and then the rest on Christmas - but we do my Birthday presents first in the morning...then cake...then Christmas presents.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Walmart...and how you have to say 'Happy Holidays' so you don't offend anyone.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? Our ornaments are a deep crimson and gold...and I must say our tree looks FABULOUS!

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Spiral cut Honey Pecan glazed Ham, with all the trimmings

25. Do you have Jesus in your heart this Christmas? Absolutely...isn't He the reason for the season?

Friday, December 08, 2006

I am a freakin smarty pants!

So after my Economics class, the professor called me and two others up and told us we were excused from taking the final - because there was no way we could drop below an A even if we bombed the final, so there was no point in taking it! Woohoo!

Monday, December 04, 2006


We are entering the home-stretch as far as school is concerned...this week of classes and then finals is next week! I am nervous because all of my finals are comprehensive

On a sucky note - both our vehicles are on the fritz...Nathan's truck is completely won't even start - and just on Saturday the heat went out in my car...and where we live the highs are in the 30's if we're lucky!!

Well, I had better go get some studying in, wish me luck!

Sunday, December 03, 2006

I love the holidays

I have found a new love...I'm not sure if it has always been there or if I am just noticing it...Nathan and I went to WallyWorld to pick-up a few things and right inside the entrance they always have the 'get-ya' products...well one caught my eye...we bought it, came home and I tried it...and all I can say is YUMMY....what are they you ask??

Dark Chocolate Peppermint Cherry Cordials!

Friday, December 01, 2006

Dear Santa,

Dear Santa,

I have been a pretty good girl this year - most of the time...and even if I haven't it has all be justified. ;) I try my very best to be a good person, and I could really use a good holiday 'pick-me-up' with the whole readjusting thing...

Some people say I'm too old to write to Santa, but I don't think I am too old to send you a letter, afterall...I'm still a kid at heart.

I would like Seinfeld Season 7 on DVD.

I would like 2 fire extinguishers (to 'adoption-ready' the house)

I would like a 5 Quart Kitchenaid Artisan Stand Mixer in Gloss Cinnamon

I would like a small space heater (our basement gets REALLY cold...)
This one is the Honeywell HZ-315 Ceramic Quick Heat...and it has gotten really great reviews. (plus it is inexpensive!)

Oh, and one more thing...I well, we would like a baby too, if you could swing it. :)

Love (and cookies),


Wednesday, November 29, 2006


I hope everyone had a nice holiday...I was reading a bit in the New York Times this morning and read a little editorial blurb that got me thinking...

Did you notice how this year some of the stores were open ON Thanksgiving?!? There were also pictures of people camping out before the big sales...and the author (can't remember the name, sorry) pointed out that we have become a consumer driven economy...we study the day after thanksgiving ads more than a political candidate's a country that esteems itself on Freedom...we should do more to ensure that those freedoms continue...

...wouldn't it be cool if people were camping out at voting stations the night before elections because they were so excited to vote?

Wednesday, November 22, 2006


I met with the scrapbook company on Monday to see about having something to do on the 'off' weeks...and ALL of the people I met that day were NOT SUPER onery. I left with a horrible pit in my stomach, and the more I think about it my gut just says I am back on the hunt for a job...

Monday, November 20, 2006

...what is the matter with me...

ok, so this week has been pretty good...but today I just can't shake this muddy feeling off...I just feel sad.

One of my friends from High School and I had a talk when we first moved here about how hard it is to try for a baby over and over every month (granted she had only been trying since April...). We talked about the feelings we get towards other women who get pregnant, and she said "I just hope you don't feel that way towards me when I get pregnant..." just assuming that she will get pregnant before I wanted to be pregnant before her...just because of the comment and to show her that one should think before speaking...yet that is not to be...I just got mass e-mail from her announcing her due May 31st (just a little over a year from when they started NOT long a very long wait at all)

I also have a sneeking suspicion that my other friend is pregnant again - with her third...she tends to ignore me for months at a time when she gets pregnant...if and when that suspicion is confirmed, I'll let you know.

I KNOW I should be used to all this by now - especially considering where I live and where I work...but it doesn't ever get any easier. We want children and I think we would be good parents - it is just so unfair. And we have talked about adoption, but right now we would not even qualify - we are not 'financially secure' enough by most agencies' standards...not to mention that we don't have health insurance. So even adoption is out of our reach until Nathan graduates - which won't likely be until May of 2009 (maybe even 10).

It just feels so sad to not have any hope...we have been 'not trying' since we lost the baby more than 9 months ago and still nothing - so HA to all of you who say just stop trying and you'll get you know that ISN'T true...and without adoption, there is no hope for a baby joining our family any time soon... :(

Friday, November 17, 2006

!!!! Lucky Me!!!

Ok, so it is no secret that I like to scrapbook...I have a room in my house dedicated to the sport. :) So I have been kinda unhappy in my job - and it looks as though the jewelry store will be closing after Christmas because it is not doing so I have been perusing the help wanted sections of the paper, etc and came accross something kinda neat on Monday, it read:


Wanted: a Teacher for scrapbooking classes. Must be willing to travel 9 months out of the year. Please send your resume to

So I fired of my resume, they called and set up an interview for today and THEY OFFERED ME THE JOB!!!! So I am feeling on cloud 11.5 about right is pretty much my dream job...getting paid to do what I love. I would get paid per show, and there will not be one every weekend, so I am not sure what to do...because I will need $$ coming in on the weeks I don't have shows...should I stay -very- parttime at the baby store? Or ask the scrapbook company to hire me in their office or outlet store to work on the days when I'm not at shows?? Should I even take the job?? I would fly out Wednesday late afternoons and be back on Sunday morning/early afternoon...not every week...likely 15 week(ends) total between Feb and Nov...

Whaddaya think??

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Have we become that society?!? we live in a society where we have gotten SO impersonal that we no longer care about the other human beings around us?!?

I feel like we have become so immune to the feelings of others that we are just plain rude. I have this one friend who says things that just make you think..."did you even think about that before you said it?" and the fact that we have lived in our new house for OVER 6 months and yet we still feel like visitors...or that we don't hold the door open for people or say thank you or please....and strangers who make harsh judgemental comments about you or your lifestyle...or people just looking the other way with dishonesty...

gosh, what kind of world do we live in...come on people.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

The Honesty Police

So I am feeling a bit like a stool the last week I have 'tattled' on 4 people for dishonest I see FAR more than that but these had effects directly upon me...

First: My boss is stealing from the company...she is ordering merchandise under her maiden name and tearing up the order if this were a candybar or something that small I would say " you are a liar and are going straight to hell...just don't make a mess before you go" BUT the business is not doing so good as of late and she is taking HUNDREDS of dollars of far over a thousand that we know about. So I mentioned it to the Office Manager...and it got to the owner. The wierdest part is that she will not be fired for it...she is the owner's sister-in-law. Call me callus and rude but if you were stealing from me you'd be fired - even if you were my mother...

Second: there is a girl and two guys who cheat on tests in my Economics class. It is a class of 150 or so, and for tests you are usually sandwiched in tight and they just sit in a row and whisper and help each other out...well the first time I gave them the benefit of the doubt, but myself and the two girls I sit by (and study with) noticed it for the next two tests....normally I would say " you are a cheat and are going straight to hell...just don't make a mess before you go" BUT the teacher grades on the curve and they are likely getting A's that should be going to other me (and the other two girls) went up to the teacher after the exam and mentioned it...

So am I a snitch? Or was I right to do what I did?? Shouldn't we stand up for honesty!??

Sunday, November 05, 2006


Ok, here are the promised pictures

Here are Nathan and I - all 'western-ed' up

Here is the Kitty Litter Cake

These are 'Simple Pimples' and 'Awful Arachnids'

Here is the total 'Graveyard Goodies' Spread

'Embalming Fluid'

Winston, not sure what to think

Our front porch/bone-graveyard.

The pumpkin Nathan carved

Besta, in his Spiderman costume

My brother, Brad, eating one of the 'awful arachnids'...I made them out of Royal Icing and they took FOREVER but looked really cool...

Called the Police?!?

so tonight we got home after the football game and we were playing with Besta in the front yard and a cop pulls around the cul-de-sac very slowly and stops in front of our house and gets out. He came up to us and asked us if we just got home - and said someone had called in a report that a dog was making a whole 'lot of ruckus' and it was in 'this' cul-de-sac...we explained to him that Besta whines, but doesn't bark - and asked if the caller had specified which the dog was doing...cause if it was Besta we need to nix that asap...but he said it was barking...and I know there are a couple dogs that bark ALL THE TIME just through the fence from us and I wonder if it was them...

It kinda pisses me makes me hate our neighborhood even next time that Mexi-pop music starts at 8am on a Sunday I am calling the cops...

Halloween since I only got ONE suggestion before the date (thanks Janus!) we decided to go with something we kida already had. My work last year had the theme to their big dinner-dance as 'Wild, Wild West', so I had bought some sexy-hot cowgirl boots and a cute skirt and hat...Nathan had bought a duster and hat and boots. So we went as a 'Cow-couple'...and we were pretty cute if I do say so myself. I have some pictures of all the crazy food and costumes - if I can find my darned cable I'll get them transferred and uploaded tonight or was pretty fun overall... :)

Saturday, October 28, 2006


ok, so I am having a halloween party and I'm not sure what to be...Nathan and I could match or we could be completly separate - but I have to be something VERY GOOD...after all I m the Hostess with the mostess - so my question to you is what should I (or we) be??

oh, and it needs to be faily simple to put together in 2-3 days...


So it snowed Wednesday night....yep, it is October and it snowed...and the freakier part is that some lawns around town STILL have traces of snow on them...

While it was snowing I was thinking "Whoo Hoo, snow day" and then I remembered where I live and the fact that only like 4 feet in one night would be enought to likely deter school or work... :( That was one nice thing about RI - when it snowed only a few inches we got snow days...

Thursday, October 26, 2006

waste of time...

remember how about a month ago I was complaining about an essay I had to write for my Sociology class?? Well this new essay for her class is just as could be answered in ONE paragraph yet she wants us to blather on for 1-2 pages...idiot

Monday, October 23, 2006

FREE popcorn

The website below is giving away FREE gourmet popcorn until the end of the month. You just have to pay $2.95 for shipping...

Friday, October 20, 2006

tears from heaven

it's raining...and whenever it rains it reminds me of Newport. I miss it terribly and sometimes I forget I'm here and I am dreaming about Newport and my friends there and eating at my favorite restaurant and my favorite place to park the car and listen to the waves. I miss walking in the sand, and the sounds of the harbor. I miss feeling like I was someone who mattered. Not that everything was perfect there - but I miss it.

I am struggling here. I am in a job(s) I hate, working for $6 an hour. I know I shouldn't complain - at least I have a job. And at least I have a sweet, understanding husband, and am close to family...but that still doesn't take away the pain I feel whenever it rains. I have this image in my mind of my windsheild washers going and driving past Johnny's and seeing a stop sign blur past in the distorted, water covered glass. It is an odd image to have, but for some reason I always think of it when it rains.

I miss Othello. I know he was just a cat, and he has been gone for almost 5 months now, but he was like my child and I was holding him when he died. I can still remember what his body felt like, limp and growing cold. He's buried in Rhode Island, next to his brother, and even though I know HE is not in the ground, I still wish I could go there and touch the soil and be close to the last place I saw him. I feel like I never got to greive for him, he died so suddenly, and right before our move.

I feel so overwhelmed, and I'm losing my grip. I feel as though I'm in a storm drain and the water level is rising higher and higher and I can't get out, and the water won't stop's getting deeper and deeper, because it's raining.

Time for a change

So I needed a change from the BRIGHT I opted for green...and pink. I actually felt kinda smart because I took the HTML code from the green and spliced bits of the HTML for the pink in so I have a 100% unique design...

Anyhoo, I made a SUPER good soup last night and I am going to share:

Spicy Chicken Soup (well, maybe more like stew..)

1 can chicken broth
1 can southwest style pepperjack soup (Campbells)
1 can kidney beans
2 cans water
1.5 C chopped green pepper
1 C corn (I used frozen)
1 C sliced carrots (I used frozen)
2 C brown rice
3 chopped Jalepenos
1 pkg sliced chicken breasts (Tyson - they are already sliced and packaged...EASY)
Dehydrated onion (could use fresh - I didn't have one) - to taste
Cayenne pepper - to taste
Garlic Powder - to taste

Place everything in a crock-pot, cook for 3 hours on high or 6 on low. Serve with tortillia chips.

It is really good, easy (because most things are canned, you just pop 'em open)... nice and thick...

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

that week went fast...

Sorry for not writing sooner - last week was a monster. I had 2 exams, 1 study session, a craft night at my mom's, store meetings, a bridal faire, 2 concerts plus all the normal school time and homework...double plus I was covering shifts at work for a co-worker who's boyfriend had open-heart surgery....yikes

I just finished writing a paper on Algeria's position on UN Security Council Reform...before that I read about how socioeconomic status affects crime and violence...I now need to go to bed as it is 1:41am...

BUT good news...I got 24 out of 25 on my Economics test!!!! I am such a smarty-pants! he hee

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


Well, today would have been my due date. I had to work at the baby store - and it was not as hard as I thought it would sweet hubby and thoughtful mom both sent me flowers and Marci gave me a hug when I was on the brink of besides the 'don't-worry-you'll-get pregnant-someday' pep talk from my boss, today went ok. Tonight we had dinner at Nathan's buddy's house with some of his friends from high school and their was fun and a good distraction.

Well now I need to go study for my International Politics test...woohoo...all-nighter for me!

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Fabulous Fall

These are some pictures I took last week - man I love the fall.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Getting to know, I mean me

1. What time do you get up on your day off? You're supposed to get day's off!?

2. If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be? Any of my friends from Newport

3. Gold or silver? White Gold

4. What was the last film you saw at the theater? World Trade Center

5. Favorite TV show? Seinfled...hands down

6. What do you have for breakfast? Slice of homemade bread slathered with butter and Nutela

7. What is your middle name? Dawn

8. Beach, city or country? Beach

9. Favorite ice cream? Hmmm, the frozen kind??

10. Favorite color? Green and Pink, and maybe Red....possibly Purple

11. What kind of car do you drive? Dixie the Dodge Neon

12. Favorite sandwich? Spicy Chicken Grilled Pizza Sandwich from Gold's

13. What characteristic do you despise? Arrogance

14. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? Newport

15. What color is your bathroom? Golden Beige-ish

16. Favorite brand of clothing? GAP

17. Where would you like to retire? Beach...anywhere on the beach

18. Favorite day of the week? Wednesday - no school and work not til 1pm :)

19. What did you do for your last birthday? Flew back to RI (I flew to suprise my family for Christmas which also happens to be my birthday)

20. Where were you born? St. Ben's Hospital

21. What fabric detergent do you use? Tide with Febreeze

22. Coke or Pepsi? Diet Coke

23. Shoe size? 8.5

24. Do you have any pets? Winston the cat and Besta the husbands count??

Wednesday, October 04, 2006


So Yesterday I woke up late - missed my first class - then when I got to the parking lot I got out and then SLAMMED my elbow onto the door's top corner...instantly my arm went numb, it hurt so bad I couldn't even get a @#&% out...only tears came. I couldn't even pick up my cell phone is still a little tender this morning...ouch

Then last night I dreamed we were in Newport - and it was the day we were supposed to leave - I was crying and trying to take pictures of everything...I woke up and I had a big wet circle on my pillow - my eye mask was soaked and I swear I had dried tears around my eyes...can you actually cry in your dreams??

The good thing is that in my Economics class when the professor was handing back the tests - he called 'Dear John' up to get his and said "Good Job"...if you get above a 20 I think he comments...well I was hoping for something and when he called my name he said: "EXCELLENT!"....whoo hoo....PLUS I was wearing my killer stilettos (didn't have to walk across campus cause I missed my first class) AND I didn't trip when I walked down to pick up my test...double whoo hoo...

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Week of thunder clouds

So I have known for some time that this week would be a tough one - our baby was due Oct 9th. I have been thinking about it all day and I just can't seem to get the whole thing out of my head. I have been super emotional the last day or so...feeling blue about not having a baby, feeling like I don't belong here - that I don't fit in, feeling just not myself...My therapist had told me (back in RI) that we needed to do something on the due date - something fun that could offer a distraction. The only problem is that I have to work on Monday - from 12-6 and Nathan has school all day...I feel like I am going to need a large dose of Prozac to get through the week...

On a brighter note I found out I got 22 out of 25 on my Economics test - so I have a solid A now...phew...still debating the whole degree thing - I KNOW Liberal Arts would go so much quicker - but Accounting would allow for more jobs once I'm done - BUT I am not really sure I want to be an Accountant anymore - I have kinda thought Marketing, maybe...but who knows, that too could change...

Well I should go to bed - I have to be up early tomorrow.

Thursday, September 28, 2006


So school is going good - crazy - but good. I have already had several exams in my classes - one class I have already had 2!! I think I might switch majors (I know, again...indecisive me) because if I do Liberal Arts I think I can graduate in 2 more (possibly 3) semesters...which is sooner than I would with Accounting - PLUS I won't have to take Calculus! WooHoo.

So my question to you is: Is a Liberal Arts degree ok...or kind of seen as the 'slacker' degree??


So my grandmother had a stroke. It happened Friday early morning ( or late Thursday night, I'm not sure of the exact time). She is doing remarkably well - considering how bad a stroke can be. She only lost movement in her left hand and left leg - which are both doing a little better each day. It kinda made me sad - because it made me realize that they (my grandparents and parents) will not be around forever and I really want my kids to know them and so I am kinda mad that we don't have kids yet - like they are missing out. My great-grandmas (2) and great-grandpa died when I was older (like 12 or so...) so I knew them - and I still have memories of them and being at their house. I fear my children will never have that, and that makes me sad.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

I'm a little calmer now...well maybe not

Ok, so after ceremoniously smashing the mouse and keyboard into the know, first essay of the semester - I finally finished the essay - it is a bit sub-par, but I was in NO mood to write an essay on Monday so the fact that I actually finished it was pretty good.

So I also had a geography quiz on Africa on Tuesday and I am pretty sure I got them ALL right - depending on how picky the teacher is on spelling...I might have switched some e's and a's around. I had an awesome geography teacher in 9th grade and I knew them all (and not just Africa - the ENTIRE world...he was one tough cookie), it is amazing how many of the countries I knew then don't even exist anymore....hello, Zaire?!
Today Nathan chose to skip his classes, stay home and sleep in our nice warm (winter blankets are on now) bed...funny thing is that I was too tired to tell him to go...I finally drug myself out of the warm cocoon about 12:15, quickly showered and headed off to work. I was exhausted - I felt like I could have slept til next Thursday!

So this morning I checked on our reimbursement $$ from the Navy (for the move) and we are getting like $6,000 LESS than I had anticipated - obviously someone somewhere made a mistake but everyone we talk to just gives us another phone number to talk to someone else...and that just plain SUCKS because that is A LOT of money - the V.A. is also being SUPER slow getting the GI Bill going so we have yet to see any of that money either...yikes.

Well I should go study for my Sociology test I have at 7:30am tomorrow...

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Cut the Crap maybe living on the East Coast has ruined me, but if you have something to say to me - say it quick and succinct. Don't blather on and on when one sentence will do....this goes for you can imagine how tough it is for me to write a 2 page essay on a question that can be answered in ONE SENTENCE....I have half a mind to write the following:

Using the Sociological Imagination is simply put as being able to see how you as an individual are connected to and affected by the problems facing society as a whole. I don't need 2 pages to say this. It would be a waste of your time to read and a waste of my time to write.

Do you think my teacher would fail me??

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Crop til you drop

Friday night I had my mom, her sister Kim and my three 'sister-in-laws' (Only one is actually legally related to me) and my new FRIEND (yes, that's right, I made a friend!) Marci over to scrapbook...we started about 8 - had pizza and then scrapbooked until 2am...I only got one page done - I was heloing others - but Marci and Kim and Shanna did really well!

We are going to try and do it monthly which will be fun!

Well I gotta run - we're going down to Nathan's brother's house to hang out.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Spiders in my cereal

I don't know why but I always have a hard time eating cereal out of a box that has already been opened...a lot of the time if I pour a bowl I won't be able to get through it - why you ask?? Because I have this long-time fear that spiders are in my cereal... I have never actually had a spider in my cereal - at least that I can remember, so I'm not sure why the fear exists...

In fact, just talking about it creeps me out enough that I am picking the sugar-covered raisins out of my bowl and going to throw the flakes (a.k.a. spider hiding huts) away, yet again.


I wonder what it is in human nature that makes us always want what we don't have - we seem to think that the 'grass is always greener'...better job, better school, better house, better car, better family, better climate...aaargh.

I LOVE our house - but I miss Rhode Island, now I KNOW that I wasn't 100% happy when we were there - but it seems as though the things that bothered me then have resolved themselves and a whole new set of problems have cropped up...for example: In RI we rarely thought about finances - and I would dare say almost never worried about them. But here money is ALWAYS on my (our) mind(s)...worrying about having enough $ to pay the mortgage and the car insurance and still buy groceries...we still do not have health insurance because it is just too expensive...The Navy still owes us $$$ from our move out (we paid upfront and they reimburse us - and a 2800 mile move is NOT cheap) and the GI Bill hasn't kicked in yet - which has strapped us SO tight...I get wicked heartburn from the whole thing.

Plus - our congregation at church in Newport was awesome...we had so many close friends there who really cared about us...and I miss them terribly. I e-mail back and forth and call, but it just isn't the same. Now here at church we have got a large group of very unfriendly people in this congregation...we even pulled aside one of the clergymen on Sunday and expressed our concern and do you know what he said?: "This actually isn't the first time someone has come to us with this concern."....HELLO!?! Doesn't that send up BIG RED FLAGS?! So right now we hate going to church - and Sunday is the only day I have off (between work and school) so it kinda sucks to dread it...

But on the bright side - I do love being back in school - and I love having a cute fluffer cat to snuggle and a dog to walk and I have the world's best loving-handsome-spider killing-litterbox scooping-put up with all my crap-husband. So I guess I'm doing alright.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

maybe I should lose some weight...

So I was demonstrating a crib to this sweet older woman today and I mentioned our interest free layaway and she said 'you must have yours on layaway now too, huh?' and I told her the one I want is like $1000...and hubby won't let me get it because we don't have any children...then she said - 'well you're expecting though, right?'.....ummm, akward.....

I mean...I'm not fat - and I have lost 21 pounds since January - so it is coming, but I guess not fast enough!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Recovering from shock

So I made sure I looked presentable for school today. Did my hair - actually matched my outfit - wore cute shoes, perfume, makeup, know what I'm talking about ladies...

Then I strategically placed myself by the only other people in class I knew (other than him) so I could talk and appear interesting - two cute girls that reminded me of Becky (my Best Friend) and I our first I smiled and chit-chatted a bit, made sure to smile a bunch and NEVER looked directly at him...I caught him glancing my way a few times - made me feel I think I am recovered from last Tuesday's nightmare...

Also - I am loaded up on Midol and using one of those nifty heat patches today (for cramps) so I feel great! Isn't science wonderful!?

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Fate is Cruel

So I started last night :( Bummer, but at least I started, that means I likely do not have a needless to say I don't feel too well today...

So after my Economics class I swore I saw Dan - the guy who I 'Dear Johned'...we dated pretty seriously and he actually said to me once that he didn't want to go on a mission if it meant losing me...sweet huh? So it was him...and I was dressed all slobby...sweatshirt and jeans with my hair in a ponytail - because I didn't feel well...I always wondered if I'd ever run into him just sucks it had to be we talked for a few minutes - just small know 'how are you' type of stuff...

But fate has yet another cruel twist for me...he already graduated but is coming back for a Masters in that means we will likely have MANY classes together over the next couple years...

I found out he just got married and in some strange way that actually makes me feel a little better...I'm not sure why.

Well my International Politics class is about to start - I gotta run.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Just another let-down

It was negative...I just couldn't get it out of my head so I went to Walmart late last night and bought a test...even though I knew it wouldn't be positive, I still had a glimmer of hope...which has now been snuffed out...

Not sure where to go from here - still 2 weeks late and not sure why. Hope it's not a cyst.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Updates!! Updates!!

I love school!! I have loved being back on campus the last few days... :) Although I am generally the oldest one in all my classes and I am older than one of my teachers...he he...

I decided to drop my calculus class - mostly because my teacher can hardly speak English and all the other sections of the course are I will wait until Spring semester...I am not racist or anything I just find it hard to concentrate on learning CALCULUS (yuck!) when I am trying so hard just to understand what my teacher is 'actually saying'...

Even without calc I think I will have a busy schedule - my Economics teacher actually told us on the first day that he didn't expect anyone in the class to get above a about discouraging...and my International Politics/Relations teacher warned us about the work load and suggested strongly that we consider that and drop the class if I think I will still be plenty busy.

Having a laptop in class has been SO great...I can take much more efficient notes now because I can type faster than I can write! I just have to make sure to get to class early enough to sit by a power outlet so my battery doesn't go dead!

Work is ok...I just wish I didn't have to work at all...maybe someday...or maybe I could work somewhere where what YOU do is valuable and important to the organization - you don't just clock in, sell/make stuff and clock out..

I am slightly worried...I am almost 2 weeks late and I haven't taken a test yet because it would be not so good to be pregnant right now because we have NO health insurance...and I worry that it is positive and I will lose the baby again - I don't have any symptoms except EXTREME fatigue, which could very well be from starting school this give you an example of how tired I am - I came home from school Tuesday and thought I would take a quick nap before doing homework - I fell asleep at about 5:45pm and woke up Wednesday at 8:30am...that is some sleep! And I slept SOLID the whole night, which is rare, I usually toss and turn. I wondered if anyone else out there had NO symptoms but was actually pregnant??

I miss Rhode Island...simply put. I miss the friends we made and restaurants we used to eat at and our congregation at church there and the smell of the air and sound of the harbor at night...all of it... I was having a really tough time Sunday and at one point a woman came and sat next to me and asked how my new job was (I was shocked anyone actually even remembered) and how we were liking it - I could barely hold back the tears when I said we were having a hard time adjusting...we both have family here but we have no friends - well we have met one couple at church, but they are not close friends (not yet, hopefully eventually) one we can call to go to a movie or come over for dinner...and it is not for lack of trying - we just don't fit in the normal 'mold' for couples our age here...we have no kids where most have at least 1...and they all congregate together and we feel excluded...also several things that should be happening at church aren't...the leader of the Men's group has yet to introduce himself to Nathan - and we should be having monthly visitors - both for me individually and for us as a family - and none yet... I was trying to schedule choir practice and I made an announcement that we would rehearse right after church and a couple of women 'ganged' up on me and said they had always practiced at 4:30 and that's how it would be...I reminded them that I sent a survey to all interested choir members to find out the best time to rehearse...and I went with that - well one woman actually had the audacity to say "We have children to get home and get settled after church, you don't understand" - If I wouldn't have been choking back tears at that point I would have quipped back something like: "I'm sorry, I don't understand, maybe if my baby wouldn't have died....." I don't know what else to do here to try and feel included...a lot of our neighbors are Mexican - and they keep to themselves - so they act like we don't exist...we'll pass them on the sidewalk when we walk Besta and we'll say "evenin'" or "mornin'" and they will just turn around and act as if we said nothing...and then all the non-Mexican families in our neighborhood seemed to have their little 'clicks' and we are not invited...any advice?


We got our dog last Friday - his name is Besta. I mentioned before that we got him from my brother - he has 3 and the city where he lives only allows him to have he needed a home for one and we took him...he is so cute and we finally got around to getting some pictures taken of him...part of the delay was that he is SO hyper we couldn't get him to hold still enough for a picture...

Here he is:

We had him outside last night playing and Nathan took a break in the hammock - well Besta wanted to join him - poor thing can't jump that well so Nathan had to help him into the hammock...

We sure love our puppy!

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Baby Blaine

Blaine, Shanna and Bryce stayed at our place last night - they brought up Besta and Shanna and I scrapbooked. It was fun and I couldn't resist taking a few pictures of Blaine this morning...

Friday, August 25, 2006

So Handsome

Isn't he just the cutest thing ever!?!??

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Chester Drawers

Ok...this is pretty funny...I'm just warning you -

So Nathan and I have been married for 4.6 years and I have noticed sometimes when he gets flustered he switches words around...for example...

One day he was venting about work (back in the navy) and said: "That is just the camel that broke the straw's back!" I thought that was funny

He related a story then about how he was on boot camp and someone was being a jerk...he said to them: "You need to pull your a#@ out of your head!"

BUT today takes the cake...earlier Winston hid from us and we thought he got out through the garage door which was have to understand, Winston is a COMPLETELY indoor cat...we couldn't find him and we were worried, well Nathan finally found him hiding behind a chest of drawers in the unfinished bedroom in the basement. Tonight while eating dinner, we were talking about 'losing' him and this is how the conversation went:

Nathan: 'Whenever you can't find him just check behind the Chester Drawers"
Me: "Did you just say Chester Drawers?"
Nathan; "Yes, Chester Drawers"
Me: "You retard its Chest Of Drawers, not Chester Drawers" (I know it is not nice to call anyone retard...but it is a term of affection we use..)
Nathan: "I always wondered why it was called Chester Drawers..."

Needless to say I got a pretty good laugh over the whole thing!

Well I need to go to sleep...we have to get up early and get our tuition paid...I ended up changing my schedule a bit - I don't want to overwhelm myself and end of failing I dropped Statistics and the Interior Design class...I'll take them another time.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

One step forward, two steps back

So I have been doing really well with the whole 'not-having-a-baby-but-being-around-pregnant-women-and babies-all-the-time' thing...and I have been having a great time with my new cute nephew, Blaine...but I hit a bump in the road today.

I was at work (baby place) and about an hour before closing a girl came in with two guys (hubby and brother) to pick up her crib she had as a salesperson I am trained to 'engage' the customer and the best way to do so with a pregnant woman is to ask her due date...hers was October 9th - when she said it I felt as if I was sucker punched...that was the due date (that and the 8th) that I was given to me by my dr's office when I was pregnant. I had to try really hard to finish our conversation and then move away so I wouldn't cry right then and there...I couldn't even look at her - I just saw her pregnant belly and wished it was mine...wished the crib she was picking up was mine and wished that I was still pregnant...

I was upset (obviously) but for 2 reasons...the first being the obvious longing for my dead baby (sorry so blunt) - but the second, I felt bad because I had come so far with the whole thing since February...I mean if you would have told me then that I would be working at a baby store and oogling over my nephew I would have knocked your lights I feel as if I have taken a few steps back today - and that sucks...

Friday, August 18, 2006

Creativity and Praise

I officially LOVE my job at the jewelry store! The woman I work for/with is so great - she embraces creativity and rewards it with praise. She actually values my opinion and it makes me feel so is quite different from my other job...there I feel just like a number - and any suggestions I have are not taken seriously...

I think that THE MOST important thing you can do as a boss is praise your employees when they deserve it - it is much more effective than scolding...I learned that in my Behavioral Psychology class in college - Positive Reinforcement is more effective in predicting behavior than Punishment.

I have been feeling quite off lately...this morning I woke at 8 but then went back to sleep because I felt SO tired, then I got back up was doing some things, walked into the closet to grab my clothes for work and everything went black...I have been feeling quite dizzy the last couple days and kinda nauseous today - I wonder if I ate something weird. I got so worried this morning that I shut off the AC and opened all the windows thinking I was suffering from Carbon Monoxide Poisoning or something.

Well I had better get to sleep - I have a long day tomorrow.


Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Mod Squad

I have been playing around with my new Mac and I took this pretty wicked picture with Photo Booth...and I wanted to share...

I think I should get it blown up HUGE and hang it in my scrapbook room...whaddaya think?

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Heat Stroke and other ramblings

Nathan and I got to spend Friday and Saturday camping with family. It was good, but both of us ended up sick...too much sun is the likely culprit. I guess when your body is used to being right at sea level and then is put in the hot sun at 5000 ft above sea level for a whole day it kinda freaks out...I have a wicked nasty sunburn (like almost purple...nasty) and I slept most of yesterday (except bathroom visits and a small breakfast) and then laid pretty low today too...both of us feel yucky - light-headed, achey, tired and just plain bad....

As the day progressed we felt a little better...but not 100% yet. We just keep downing the water and resting, hopefully tomorrow will be a little better...

But the weekend was fun...there was a 'dance' Friday night and man did I dance...I must have burned 1000 calories! It felt good to just goof off and be myself - and my brother Brad is quite the goof also...he even did a pole dance for us - Nathan got it on tape just in case we ever need blackmail material later on... ;)

I can't believe it is already August 14th...time has flown by. It seems like only yesterday I was getting up to go to work in Newport...I had a bad week last week as far as missing everyone back there goes...I made some great friends and it has been hard not to have them around - for simple things like going to the movies or BBQing in the yard...I count myself very lucky to have technology nowadays - so I can keep in contact with them.

It looks as though we will be getting a of my brothers currently has 3 dogs and the city where he lives has a restriction that says you can only have 2 unless you have a kennel license...which is expensive so he is trying to find a home for one of them...he is only a year old, already fixed and up-to-date- on his shots...his name is Besta - he is a mutt but looks like a rottweiler. We have been over to his house a few times to play with the dog and he is such a good one...a big floppy lovey dog. It will be nice to have a dog, as it will motivate us to go for walks more often...

Well I better get to bed, I have to be to work early tomorrow...

Thursday, August 10, 2006

New House, Segment 7: Kitchen and Dining - My Favorite!!

Ok...I have saved the best for last...I LOVE our kitchen...there are still a couple things I would like...a red Kitchenaid mixer for instance...**hint hint** and a red four-slice Kitchenaid toaster...but I like it so far.

I made the curtains, I looked all over and couldn't find just what I wanted to I bought red linen and made them myself! There is a little sign behind the sink that says
"I Love a Man with Dishpan Hands"

I have that annoying little space above the cabinets so I decided to put it to good use...and I decorated it! :)

I made this cute stool after we realized we couldn't get to the cabinets above the fridge without one...cute huh??

This is the dining room...I made this curtain also...I love the photo collage on the wall, I find myself standing at it often, reminiscing.

New House, Segment 6: Office/Exercise Room

This room, also has not been decorated...except adding the furniture and the one picture on the wall...eventually a Canadian Flag will be hung, new paint for walls and desk, etc...

The treadmill, total gym and bike were excellent garage sale finds - thanks dad - and I found the mini stepper on far they have been used pretty good...not as much as I wish I was motivated to use them, but at least they are not gathering dust!

New House, Segment 5: Family Rm & Laundry

Ok...these haven't really been decorated yet...we ran out of 'decorating money' they will have to wait for a while...

Our family room is Nathan's playground...he hooked up his surround sound so when we watch movies like Lord of the Rings we can feel the couch move with large impacts on screen...We also decided to put the piano in here as it seemed like too monstorous a chore to lug the beast up the split-entry stairs...

Our laundry room is simple and small...more like a laundry closet...but it serves it's purpose...but I think we have a way cool dryer...have you ever seen one that spins like that?

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

how embarrasing...

I was reading someone else's blog and they mentioned some pretty embarrasing stories...and got me thinking of my own moments during which I wish the earth could have swallowed me whole to avoid the embarrasement that was sure to I thought, why not share...everyoone needs a good laugh now and then...BUT the deal is, if you read, you too must share - via the comment section - because I am not the only one getting embarrased today! I was a bit of a band nerd in High School and College...ok, more than a bit...I was a BIG band nerd...

My freshman year at college I was on the USU drumline. We were practicing our first day at drum camp out on a patch of grass and it was getting late and we were all tired and hungry..well JT (our leader) was NOT going to stop we were marching around fast and crazy and I tripped...and within a matter of milliseconds the entire drumline was on the ground...a guy named Jeff (funny, funny guy) yelled "The Hell?" - complete with a southern accent, hysterical - it became the catch-phrase of the season - anyway there was some blood and one guy actually needed stitches and there were many bruises...when they found out it was me, man I NEVER lived that one down...way to make a great first impression huh? oh, but the funniest part was there were a couple old people watching us practice and when we fell they all just kinda looked around and walked away - he he he

So then my sophomore year I was on the drumline again...and we were marching from the practice field to the stadium right before the game and I totally biffed it...dented my drums (I marched the tenors/quads...big nasty 45lb things), ripped holes in the knees of my uniform and I did it in front of the ENTIRE USU football make matters worse (as if they could have been) the team doctor took me into the team's locker room to fix my knee about embarrased...

So by now I had earned the nickname 'trip' and everyone always joked about it and teased me...

Junior year comes along and This one time at Band Camp we were doing drills on the hot pavement and it was almost lunch-time (once again, not good to leave me hungry) and I tripped (couldn't let the pattern die now could I) and got pretty nasty road-rash on my knees - in fact I still have a ocuple tiny bits of asphalt stick in my left knee - blood was running down my legs, soaking my socks but T Rohrer was not going to let me get out of at lunch I hobbled to my friend Jenny's apartment and she tried to get all the asphalt out of my know how sometimes something hurts so bad you feel like you want to throw-up...that is how this felt. At least the first time I fell it was on grass...and the second I had pants on...this time there was nothing inbetween my knees and the 105 degree asphalt...OUCH!

Nathan still calls me trip...and I don't let him down, about every other month or so I trip on something...stupid feet

Ok, I have shared - now you must too...bring 'em on!

Lucky coincidence?? I think not

So I had today off, and I was sleeping late (I have been SUPER tired this week) - the doorbell rang so I got up, but it was only some stupid lady trying to sell us a refinance program...Luckily my phone started ringing so I got out of it...and it was my really-close-love-her-to-death-wish-she-were-here-friend Heather calling from Italy! I haven't gotten to talk to her since she moved in the spring...It was exactly what I needed today.

Then the whole thing got me thinking...I didn't know I had today off until yesterday afternoon...and normally when I am in my coveted state of sleep if the phone rings I won't answer how lucky am I that the doorbell rang right before she called!?!? Maybe it was not luck at all...


Well work is going ok...I get to start at the jewelry store on Thursday so that should be fun...otherwise things are slowly moving along...

We went to a baseball game last night with Nathan's best friend and his was SO fun...His friend is such a heckler....makes fun of everyone and I really think it helps...I swear more than once you could tell he was for sure 'in their heads'...needless to say we laughed pretty my abs got quite the workout and are a tiny bit sore today.

I am still feeling a bit lonely here, not that I don't know people, I just don't feel like I have a close friend close by (geographically)...I have 3 or 4 that I could call at any time and talk to, but sometimes it just isn't the same, ya know?? One of my super-close friends said there might be a chance she could move closer to me, which would be awesome...but I'm not holding my breath, as it isn't 100% in their control...

Well, Winston is DEMANDING my attention as I have been gone most of the I must go play with the fur baby.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

the grass is always greener

...ok, so after working one day I decided that I do not want to work anymore...I want to be a stay at home mom to my kitty...although our current financial situation really does not permit this...that is where I hope to be eventually someday - and someday soon!

You know it is funny...growing up I didn't really want kids and when we were first married Nathan seemed kinda shocked by this - him coming from a very large family. I wanted the career and an office and the business suits and heels and stockings...the whole bit - I actually wanted to work for the secret service or FBI...well after I got married I don't know what was like a 'mother' light turned on in my brain and all-of-a-sudden I wanted to have kids...but only 2, maybe 3 max... But as time goes on and the harder it is for us to have children, the more children I find that I I would like 5 or 6...maybe even 7 (call me crazy)...

So my question is: What is it about human nature that makes us always want what we don't have?? How come we are never satisfied...we always want a different house or car or neighbor or job...yet when we get these things we want still something else...

I know the answer is something like: You will never be happy in your current situation until you are truly happy with yourself...but how do we get to that point?? How do we conquer the inner voices always complaining about what we don't have or do have and wish we didn't??

Friday, August 04, 2006


I FINALLY have a job...we have been in our new house/state for over 2 months and now I FINALLY have a job - one that was offered to me and they really meant it! :)

I will be working Mondays at a jewelry store (owned by the same family as the baby place) and on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday at the baby place. I will be able to make commission -hello engagement rings!- and I even get a discount! Yippee...

He (owner) brought me to his house last night to meet his younger brother/partner and his wife/other partner and they offered me the job on the spot...they mentioned how excited they were that when it came time to order new inventory for jewelry that I would be a great asset because I would be able to help them with what was 'in' cool am I?

Well I must go make myself presentable...I start TODAY! :) Poor Winston, he is not going to know what hit him...being all alone now >^..^<

you'll never look at treadmills the same...

Thursday, August 03, 2006

...ok, maybe you were right...

So, you know how sometimes somebody tells you something and you think "you couldn't be farther off base?!?" and then it turns out they were actually right?? Take a trip with me down 'therapy lane'....

In Rhode Island I was priveliged enough to meet with a therapist pretty regularly...(like every-other week or so)...she was fact her name was Holly too...that must have had something to do with it! :) Anyway...we would discuss whatever was bothering be at the time and after I lost the baby and I found out Shanna was pregnant I really needed to go see her and while we were talking and I was telling her how I didn't want to move here because then I would be close to them, and the reminder would be too painful, etc. She said to me..."you don't have to do anything you don't want to...but just keep an open mind because your thoughts may all change when you see and hold the baby for the first time." So I nodded and said ok while inside I was thinking...'you wack job'...I had actually had several people tell me this and I thought they were all crazy...

So time rolled on and we came out to house-hunt and I saw her 'pregnant' for the first time and it was hard...I cried for 3 or 4 hours that night...and I saw her a month or so later when we moved in and I cried again...and then the baby shower...more tears...and all the while I am thinking...these crazy people actually think I am going to be OK??? and soon?!? Then the baby is born and I actually felt angry...and wished harm upon all of them...Bryce, Shanna and baby Blaine...then my loving, caring, ever-so-knowledgeable husband intervened. He said we needed to go down and see them once they got home from the I called and set it up - we were going to go down after church on Sunday (I didn't just want to drop in unexpected...that is so rude)...we went down and as we walked in the house I saw Shanna hand Bryce the baby and he swaddled it and he stopped fussing...this is Bryce, my little candy-loving, soda-drinking, LITTLE brother who used to paint nipples on my Barbies with red fingernail polish...and he had all of a sudden become a dad - it was amazing.

We stayed for a while and I got to hold Blaine and so did Nathan...we took pictures (which we made a SUPER cute movie with on our new Macs) and made some small chat with Bryce & Shanna...and although it was really boring/stupid small chat it was the most we had spoken since this whole thing started back in February...I drove home feeling a little better...then today came around and for no apparent reason I had them on my mind...and I asked Nathan if we could go down after he got home from work...he said yes so we called them, picked up Chinese food on the way down and stopped by...and we stayed for about 3 hours...I got to hold Blaine a lot of (ok...most of) the time :) and I even got him to calm down when he was fussy...I swaddled him like I read in on of my many baby books...he was so sweet, just melted into me and went to sleep...and Bryce, Shanna, Nathan and I had such an ADULT conversation - about world events and illegal immigrants (grrr) and welfare and food stamps and was the most adult conversation I have EVER had with them...and it felt really great.

Well Nathan finally made us leave (grrr...some poor 'excuse' about how he has to get up at 5am to go to work...) and as we drove away I felt so good inside...I explained it to Nathan like this - that all the horrible feelings I had been feeling had been cankering my soul and by finally working through everything I felt I had been able to cleanse those wounds and begin to heal...I felt like I had just left a great therapy session with Holly... (miss her tons by the way)

So I think I have just taken a major step in 'growing up'...and coming to accept the fact that we may never have children and yet others will...and that's ok. Not that I won't have tough moments in the future...but they should be a little less hard to bear...I am thankful that God has helped be get to this point - and hope he'll carry me to the end.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

New House, Segment 4: The Scrapbook Room! :) this room is HANDS DOWN my favorite room in the house...not because of color (although I do love pink) but because I spend most of my time in here...I love to scrapbook and be crafty... plus it is in the basement so it doesn't get as hot as upstairs...a major plus as of late.

The pic above is my IKEA has turned out to be the BEST scrapbook/craft stuff organizer... So as you can see I have quite a bit of stuff...and the room is not spotless clean because I am always doing something that I don't want to put away until I'm done - that is the beauty of having a whole seperate room for this type of thing!

The pic above is the closet...I put up a curtain rod and long tab-top curtains right inside the closet to act as doors...they give the room a softer, more 'girl-y' they take up less space than actual doors...All my Stampin' Up! stuff is in the closet...along with all my sewing notions (in the drawer thingy on the left)

This is right outside the door to my scrapbook room...Nathan and the missionaries built this for our kitties back when we first moved to Rhode Island...and it is Winston's FAVORITE nap spot...he snoozes while mamma scrapbooks.