Saturday, October 31, 2009

Lack of haunting

I am kinda bummed.

Normally we have a big Halloween shin-dig at our place. In face, we're kinda known for it. But this year with everything going on, we just can't afford to throw it. So 2009 will be sans the Annual Nathan & Holly Halloween Bash. We will spend the evening hanging out with friends and will still have a good time...but a little piece of me will be sad that I won't be spending the evening with kitty litter cake and bat wings and a whole slew of X-Men. But I don't want you to forget our past Halloween awesomeness so go here and here to remember. Do it. Now.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

A Month

Today has been a month since our sweet Frankie died. I had a few moments today where I got really sad. I sure miss that little menace.

Good laugh

Any of you who knew me in high school will get a kick out of this story over on my friend Kristen's blog. Ok, even if you didn't know me then, you'll get a kick out of it.

Seriously, go.. What are you waiting for ??!?

Sunday, October 25, 2009

A Journey of a Thousand Miles...

...begins with one step.

Or in our case, one piece of mail.

It is a little surreal for me to sit and think about the significance of what we did today. We have been trying, planning and hoping for a baby for over five years. We thought about and talked about adoption for a few years and a little over a year ago we shifted our focus 100% to adoption as the means to expand our little family of two. It was hard to be in the position of having the desire to pursue adoption, yet because of circumstances beyond our control, having to wait. Until now. Nothing short of divine intervention got us to that mailbox today. It is a bit overwhelming knowing the long, frustrating, bumpy and sometimes heartbreaking road that lies ahead, but I'm not worried...I got my walking shoes on and my best friend at my side. Bring it on.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Navy Birthday Ball

I know these are a couple weeks late...but better late than never, right?

The Navy Birthday Ball was back on October 10th. I really wanted to go, and it usually takes Nathan a lot of convincing to go to something like this because he isn't a fan of dancing. Not this year - I mentioned it and it went and got tickets! It helps that the band got in we just had to get my ticket. Gotta love being a band geek...or being married to one in my case.

The food was actually quite good...normally 'banquet' food is kinda icky...but this one was fancy schmancy. Look at the beautiful butter ball display: (Although I must admit, seeing these balls gave me momentary fright...they are the same kind we used to have at the restaurant and I used to have to prepare trays and trays of them at the end of my shift.)

My meal was roast beef in some sort of sauce, with some twice baked potato goodness and green beans.

There was birthday cake and some raspberry gelato in a chocolate dipped waffle bowl for dessert. Mmmm, mmm good. Oh, and the cake had blue frosting:

Here we are...don't you just love the skirt of my dress? When we bought it I thought it was just silver...but when we got it home I realized it was a silvery PURPLE!! :) It is so soft and when I twirl it billows out. I just love dressing up!

The Fishers. They came with us to humor us I think. When we tied to get them on the dance floor Sara looked like she might stick a fork in my face.

Another one of us...cause you just can't get enough of the cuteness. OH, and you can see my new hair color in this one. :) ...well, sort of. In the light it is quite a bit more purple. I love the new makes my eyes pop.

Oh, I almost forgot the best part of my outfit!! I have had these beauties for a few years and I only get to bust them out about once a year on average. The pic doesn't do them justice...they are sparkly and fabulous. Oh how I love them so.

The Big One

So in church a couple of months ago one of the lessons was on trials and enduring them well. One guy made a comment that got me thinking and I (obviously) have an opinion and I wondered what other people thought. The guy said that he heard from some authority figure (the name he couldn't recall...and yes, right now my eyebrow is raised) of our church that every person will get one big trial in their life. He said that if you haven't had it yet, don't rest on your laurels...and if you have had it, feel good that you made it.

I have to say that I disagree. ONE big trial? ONE? Um, ya, I don't think so. I think some people will get one, some will get none and some will get twenty. I also think the definition of a BIG trial varies from person to person. I mean, we've lost three babies. Some people wouldn't be able to get through that. I know people who have lost spouses, I wouldn't be able to make it through that. I think missing the bus on the way to work would be a big trial to some people while others could handle losing everything they posses in a fire or tornado.

I think you just have to play the hand that is dealt to you. If you get a crappy one, well, that sucks. Play it through and wait for your next one. If you get a good one, enjoy it. If you get three crappy ones in a row, well, that sucks more. Life isn't fair. Some people seem to skate along on golden paths and never have any challenges. Yet others seem to face giant stumbling blocks every step of the way.

I guess I should take it as a compliment that the Lord saw me as strong enough to deal with the challenges we've faced. I may not have handled them all the best, but I got through. I survived, and He knew I would. I know that throughout the remainder of my days my path will take me through some nasty stuff. I don't think that my trials are done. I don't think you get the BIG ONE and then you're done, and in a weird, creepy way I am glad it isn't that way. If it were we would wait our whole lives for this ONE trial, we would go through it and then just sit on our duffs wasting the remainder of our days.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Gary Allan

Last night I got to go with some of my girlfriends to a concert at the House of Blues. About a month ago my friend Nadia asked if I wanted to go to the Gary Allan concert with her. I have NO idea who he is, but when a friend offers to buy your ticket, you go. I'm glad I did, I had a fantastic time!

Here's some pics from our Ladies Night Out.

We started out with some (overpriced...but good) dinner at the restaurant at the House of Blues.

When we got over to the venue, it was PACKED. We were crammed in there like sardines.

Here is the man himself, with his hot guitar player (the one in the kilt) and his drummer who looks eerily similar to my brother-in-law Jeremy.

How close we were to the stage. (plus a bit of the funky eccentric decor of the HOB)

After the concert we hopped on the Metra back to Great Lakes. Our friendly conductor seemed a bit concerned over Nadia who had consumed quite a few Vodka Tonics. He suggested we take compromising photos. We were too chicken.

At the end...poor tuckered out little cowgirl.

When I woke up this morning my ears were still ringing. The House of Blues was an awesome venue and we will make it a point to get back there before we leave. Hey! Maybe if you (yes, you!) come visit we could go see a show (hint, hint).

And just in case you (like me) didn't know who Gary Allan was...check out this video...I didn't realize he was the one who did this song.

Friday, October 09, 2009


As I said last year, today is a little rough for me (us) and has been, and I expect it to be for as long as I (we) live. Today we should be celebrating the third birthday of our first child. We never knew officially what we were having, but in my gut I felt it was a girl. It is hard for me to think that I should have a three year old little girl running around. I should be concerned with dollies and mini tea sets and pig tails.
With infertility, it seems that certain dates loom on the horizon and provide landmarks of your journey through the horrible Land of the Barren. Every time one of these dates approaches I hope it will be the last of its kind that we greet with empty arms. Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas and my due dates...all difficult times of year for us.
My hope for us is that by this date next year we have a child to hold, to help ease the heartache of years of empty arms.

Monday, October 05, 2009

Exciting news!!

We closed on our house Thursday and we are now officially HOMELESS..and I couldn't be happier! :) Now that we have that stumbling block out of the way we are one HUGE step closer to adoption!!