Sunday, December 30, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
What do ya think?? I haven't started it, but when I do (hopefully tonight) I'll let you know.
I also got spoiled for my B'Day. Nathan got me a TOM BRADY JERSEY!!! Which is super exciting...now I can support my team in BODY and SPIRIT. I also got some $$ which I used to get my new Nike running shoes and a nice running jacket. When we went down to Nathan's brother's house for Christmas dinner they also made a big deal out of my B'Day which made me feel so good :) They gave me a pretty heart bolero necklace, sang Happy Birthday and Gina made an incredible German Chocolate Cake (which lacked some walnuts in the frosting thanks to Timothy...hehe). I also got a dark chocolate layer cake at my parent's place Christmas night for the Big Day.
And Nathan was not left wanting either...he got a new mic for his sound stuff, some awesome vintage shirts, a svelte Frank Sintra-esk hat, new batteries for his pocket watches, funky Jazz slippers and a fun game.
Friday, December 21, 2007
I have also been reading some other people's blogs who share the Christmas Birthday with me and I am finding an overwhelming amount of us who feel slighted... So if you don't want to hear my venting...close the web browser now and go back to making your holiday cookies or wrapping presents or whatever, but please don't read on and get pissy and leave a nasty comment...I don't have the patience for you this year. :)
You know how some restaurants, stores, etc will send out postcards that say 'Come in on your Birthday and we'll give you a free _____' ?? I never get to use those - I tried once in Rhode Island...on the 26th, but because it wasn't my actual birthday I didn't get it...which sucks because they weren't even OPEN on my birthday... I do have to say that some places will accomodate us, but not all...their excuse? "If we did it on a different day for you we'd have to do it ona different day for everyone..." Um, ya, because JimBob whose birthday is on May 2nd and chooses not to go out is totally different from me who CANNOT go out on my b-day. :(
My old boss started a policy that you get your birthday off with pay - I asked her about my brithday, if I could take the 24th or the 26th and she said 'No'...her excuse was that if your birthday falls on a weekend you don't get to take it off...and I should be happy because I always get the day off... So ya, once again, NOT THE SAME THING... I am happy to get Christmas off, but I just want the same treatment everyone else gets...grrr
I know this is dumb, but I would like to have a birthday party every once-in-a-while...a nice, sit-down dinner - NO PRESENTS - but fun and food and games and whatnot...but that will never happen, because December is the WORST month to try and plan a get-together because everyone else is so busy. And I could do it in May or January, but then it isn't my birthday.
Just once I would like to know what it feels like to have a REAL birthday...one that is not overshadowed with tinsel and lights and Ho Ho Ho...
Thursday, December 20, 2007
2). Real tree or artificial tree? I love real ones - it is just too dry here...Plus the previous owners of our home left an awesome 7' pre-lit artificial tree in the basement!
3). When do you put up your tree? The weekend after Thanksgiving
4). When do you take the tree down? Before New Years...usually
5). Do you like eggnog? Usually..but I had a bit of a 'rough' experience with it earlier this year...so I haven't been able to stomach it again yet :( Note to self: DO NOT eat a dozen chocolate chip applesauce cookies and then drink a huge glass of eggnog.
6) Favorite gift ever received? My big, thick purple quilt Nathan made me...not sure if I got it for Christmas or B'Day...they both run together...
7) Favorite gift ever given? The wedding album I gave my parents last year
8) Clear lights or colored lights? Clear on the tree...colored on the house
9) Hardest person to buy for? Dad
10) Easiest person to buy for? Nathan
11) Do you have a nativity? Yes, two. One Willow Tree set (with a very cool backdrop made by my dad) and a small porcelain set.
12) E-mail or regular mail Christmas Cards? Mail...except this year - I have been too busy...maybe everyone will get New Years cards. ??
13) Worst gift ever received? Underwear (when I was little)
14) Favorite Christmas movie? Grinch...old or new
15) When do you start Christmas shopping? November
16) Favorite thing(s) to eat at Christmas? Pecan glazed ham...and all the treats
17) Favorite Christmas song? You're a Mean one, Mister Grinch ...and there is this one song that has the line "And the prettiest sight you'll see is the Holly that will be on your own front door"... I like that one too ;)
18) Travel at Christmas or stay home? Depends on the year, in the past we have traveled a lot but this year we'll stay close to home.
19) Can you name all of Santas' reindeer? Sure, what do you take me for...some sort of Christmas novice?!?
20) Do you have an angel or star on your tree? Nothing...the tree is too tall, we had to fold down the top branch so it would fit...but I do have a really beautiful star that I'll use someday
21) Do you open gifts on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? PJ's Christmas Eve...and yes mom, I know that's what's in that bag...
22) What is the most annoying thing about this time of year? The commercializaiton of the holiday
23) Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Growing up, Santa usually set each of ours out on a different chair...some wrapped some not. Now, wrapped on the couch.
24) Do you hang mistletoe? Yes
25) Favorite Holiday memory as a child? Loading all of us kids in the truck and driving around to see the lights, then coming home to have homemade ice cream... and when we were little we all used to sleep in the same room together and 'watch for Santa'
26) When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? What truth??!? Does he wear a fake beard?? I can't believe I have been decieved all these years... sheesh
27) Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it...love shoveling it, love watching it, love eating it (as long as it isn't yellow...)
28) Can you ice skate? Yes...I miss the outdoor rink in Newport...that was so fun. SHEILA - you need to take the kids... :)
29) What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Remembering why we have the season in the first place...and it isn't about reindeer or a fat man in a red suit...
I am tagging:
I have some of the CUTEST nieces and nephews... this video is of the ones in Tennessee. The first number is Michael and Jonathan (Nathan's brother)...then Erin plays the piano, and then Lindsay sings.
I can't believe how good they all are!
I love all the other neices and nephews too - don't think that I favor these ones...I just had this video to show off :)
Friday, December 07, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
By the way - if you ever want some entertainment...go in to a medical clinic and say you are having chest pain...that gets everyone jumping pretty quick. Once they came to the conclusion (that I had already) that it WASN'T a heart attack, they looked at other causes. I even got to have an EKG...which is not nearly as exciting as it is portrayed on TV...stupid Grey's Anatomy... :(
The doctor decided that I have costochondritis...which besides sounding like a problem you would get shopping at Costco is an inflammation of the cartilage that connects my ribs to my breastbone... which would explain why sleeping us hard and waitressing hurts, etc.
The bad news is that they don't know what causes it...it could be a cold/flu, stress, virus... and there is no way to 'cure' it so I just have to wait for it to get better on it's own...I can take Motrin for it, which I plan on adding to the Ambien I'll take tonight so I can get a good night's rest :)
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Here's still shot of 'Santa's Little Helper'
Winston, happily watching Frank getting scolded for climbing the tree.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
We have been dealing with infertility for 3.5 years.. and it is just as hard now as it was 2 years ago...it doesn't get any easier. My body just can't seem to keep a baby and we are in NO position to adopt. I try to not let it get me down, but sometimes things just blind-side me...today one of those things happened.
Some dear friends of ours just sent out a mass e-mail announcing they are expecting. They are a great couple and were planning on having kids so I should be happy, right? Then how come when I read the e-mail I felt as if I had been punched in the gut?!?? I don't know how to stop feeling this way, just when I think I am over it something happens to prove that I am SO NOT over it.
I should be happy - I made $95 at work last night, and I just finished a really cute skirt which I made WITHOUT a pattern! :) But everytime I hear about pregnancies in people close to us I just shut down. I block everyone out. I realize that I do this to 'protect' myself, and my feelings - but how do I just come to terms with the fact that I may never have children...?? How as a woman (and being a member of my religion which is SO very child/family centric) do I just SHUT OFF that part of me? I just can't and I thnk it is ruining my life.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
I have just felt so stagnant lately, on my blog and in my life, so I needed a bit of a change.
Work is still going good...it sucks to have to work two jobs though. I rarely have time to do something for myself. I am hoping I can get my 'second wind' this week and be able to better use my nights at home. I bought some fabric at Joanns and plan on making me some skirts (thanks Janus!)...if they turn out ok, I'll post some pictures. :)
So, what do you think of the new look/sound??
Friday, November 09, 2007
I was at my parents house (it wasn't really their house, but in my dream it was) and they lived high up in the foothills. I was having a party and all the bank geeks (this term is not offensive, I am/was a band geek) from college were there and we decided to cook something outside. For some reason I and a couple other girls had to go up into the woods a bit to get something and when we were up there this baby and mom black bear go walking past, so we hurried and went another way only to run into a HUGE Grizzly bear. We climbed up this weird tree (bad idea in real-life by the way) and did this Tarzan move from tree to tree back down the hill to the house.
We got to the back door and tried to lock it but we couldn't figure out how. Now there were lots of bears chasing us, so we tried to lock it the best we could and we left the house and all the other party guests to go get the police (don't ask me why we didn't just call 911). As we were running away the road turned into this street lamp lined street from Newport. One of the bears got right up behind me, reached for me but then I talked to him and said "You want to pass us up, there are lots more people just down the road" and he growled something like 'excellent' and ran past us but there were still more behind us. We got to an intersection and I ran in front of a car and waved my arms, the first one passed me by but the next lady let me and one of the other girls I was with in her backseat where her two little girls were.
We drove away quickly and we could see the mayhem these bears were creating. They were everywhere, attacking people. We got to the police station, which had a wall of TV's broadcasting all the news stations and we could see more attacks. Then one of the stations had a chopper in the air and was filming live shots of my parents house and it was odd because the roof was gone (not destroyed, but almost like it had just been cut away so the contents could be seen), and we could see the entire inside of the house...and there were so many bodies, and blood everywhere...but all the bodies looked like dolls and action figures. I started sobbing hysterically and then I woke up.
Seeing it in writing makes it seem not as scary as it was, but I can tell you I was FREAKED out. Over the summer here a couple of people who were camping were snagged from their tents by bears and were eaten. I almost went out to the garage and threw away all our camping stuff...and I kept formulating a plan if bears came into our house how I would stay safe...and how to keep my fur babies safe also. It all seemed so real and I still just can't get some of the images out of my head.
I have NO IDEA where this dream came from - but I have been under a tremendous amount of stress the past couple weeks. I have been trying to figure out the meaning of the dream ever since I woke from it. Any ideas?
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Having two jobs is wicked hard, but works out good because Nathan quit the grocey store on Saturday ... The thing that sucks is that this job was supposed to be for $$ for my Mustang and to pay off debt, but now it will be so our house doesn't get taken away. STRESSFULL...
Anyway, I just wanted to check in, let you know I have made it half-way through my first 'Double Full Time Jobs' week.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Five things you may not know about me:
ONE - I like to play in the hot melted wax of a candle. I am not sure when this started, but I like to stick my fingers in the melted wax and make 'finger casts' then peel them off and have little Madam Tussaud's replicas of my own fingers...
TWO - I have enough shoes that I could wear a different pair everyday and not wear the same pair in month. Crazy I know, and the crazier part is I would buy a new pair everyday if I could afford it :)
THREE - I steal cups from football games. Well, I guess it's not stealing because they are just left there - and I always make Nathan go grab them... You know the cups I'm talking about, the big 32oz cups they serve the concession sodas in at football and basketball games. They are excellent cups for ice water in the summer - they work well for 'water scoops' when we bathe the cats and dog - we keep one in the dog food bin to scoop food...they are the perfect cups and if the stadium clean-up crews are just going to throw them away they might as well be taken home and put to good use!
FOUR - I talk to myself - a lot. There is a constantly running dialog between myself and ... myself. And it is not in my mind either, it is out loud. I get weird looks from people all the time because it isn't normal for someone to be walking down the isles of the grocery store having a conversation with themselves...
FIVE - I am addicted to blogs - I read them all the time. Family - friends - celebrity gossip ones...you name it, I read it. I recently stumbled upon a blog of a classmate from high school - and I have been 'secretly' reading it for weeks. And she has links to other people I haven't seen since then and I read their blogs too...I wasn't really friends with any of them...they were the 'popular' kids and I was a band geek - so I guess its a way to spy on the lives I was never allowed to be a part of.
I am going to tag: Kara, Ryann, Kim, Kristin and Mikelle (if you don't have a blog, leave yours in my comments)
Friday, October 19, 2007
So I have known that I really needed to pick up a second job for a while...and I have looked and applied at Walmart and Home Depot and Lowes and Smiths, etc...but then a friend of mine (I love you Cas!), her dad is building this new building and it is going to be a restaurant...so I get a number from my friend's little sister and I called today (I know Cas, I was going to do it earlier...but oh well) on my lunch break...Susan (owner...along with hubby) said they were pretty full, but she didn't know for sure so please stop in and see her. So I went by after I got off work, and she talked to me for only TWO minutes and then said they had an opening for someone Mon and Tue evenings...do I want it?? So I stayed and did the training which happened to be that night and I think I am going to LOVE it there. The restaurant is upscale, the owners have ran restaurants before and they really seem to care about their people... so I have more training on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday...Friends and Family night on Thursday, VIP dinner on Saturday and then BAM right into the fire, we go live on Monday the 29th!
I am just SOOOO excited right now I can hardly wait! I served before and loved it so I am hoping this will be fun too - I stand to make significantly more money than my last serving job so that will be good too :)
Well I need to go take my drugs, get a quick bite to eat and get to bed!
The only bad thing about all of this is that I missed Grey's tonight! :(
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Saturday, October 13, 2007
He decided to (almost) double my Metformin dosage in the hopes of 'regulating' everything, helping me lose some weight and get pregnant.
I am excited because he seemed to actually know about PCOS which is noce - but the thought of upping Metformin doesn't sit too well with my tummy - it is NASTY for about 2 weeks while your body adjusts :( But a positive side-effect is weight loss, maybe only a couple pounds, but I'll take what I can get.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
THIS SITE donates FREE mammograms, all you have to do is click.
Please, go here today and click...and if you remember, go back tomorrow and click too.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
THIS STORY makes me sick to my stomach. In it, yet another baby is found - this one was a baby girl with curly black hair and fair skin in a pickle jar, the coroner figured it was about a 7 month old fetus, umbilical cord still attached. The kicker was that a substance that is found in pain killers was found in her chest and abdominal fluids...so the parent(s) give her pain killers, then stuff her in a pickle jar to die...
I don't know how well known the Safe Haven Laws are - but basically it allows a parent(s) to bring a newborn to a hospital or fire station and drop the baby off - with no legal action. Normally, if you abandon a newborn you face abandonment charges, but this is supposed to encourage those who would 'dispose' of the child themselves to drop them off instead. No id check is required, no paperwork, nothing. I know that there are problems with this - and some people adamantly oppose the law saying it creates mothers who will hide a pregnancy, get no medical care and then 'legally abandon' the baby... I don't think it will create anything that isn't already there...this law is simply in place to give a 'depositing station' to children who would have been left in dumpsters...or pickle jars.
I want to know what you think...does this law create problems??
Monday, October 01, 2007
I went down to 'babysit' my mom on friday - and she is doing a little better...but my dad looks worse. I think he is worried now they are home because she's not hooked up to monitoring devices and all...so he worries if she sleeps or not, etc. While I was there I got her a snack and she wanted a red apple, no skin, cut up...as I was doing it I couldn't help feeling like I had a little kid ;)
The Marching Band went on the road Saturday to the game and we froze our buts off!! It snowed almost the entire time...BUT we did get to drive through the canyon which was gorgeous! Right?!? (Sorry the pic it a little odd - I took it from inside the tour bus)
And last but certainly not least - I have to share the newest pics of my babies, because they are just so darn cute. We were watching a move and Frank just had to lay by Winston...
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Participating Chili’s restaurants nationwide will donate 100 percent of its profits from this Monday to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. So enjoy those famous Baby Back Ribs or one of Chili’s other signature entrées for lunch or dinner, and you will be supporting the life-saving work of St. Jude.
for more details!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
I took a Prozac but I am still kinda freaking out. I know that thousands of people have had the surgery, but that doesn't abate my fears.
All I would ask is that anyone who reads this today keep my mom and dad in their prayers.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
And things have not been all peaches and roses since we unpacked our boxes. Church has been hard - friends have been hard - money has been almost enough to kill us by itself - I weigh more now than I have EVER weighed - Nathan and I are constantly at each other's throats over STUPID things - our neighborhood is the mexican/white-trash ghetto - family troubles - Nathan lost his job - I can't go to school because of lack of fundage - and the list could go on. and I know I am beating a dead horse by complaining about it all...but 'it's my party and I'll cry if I want to...'
We tried to keep positive and think that we were here 'for a reason' and that all would smooth out over time, but I am beginning to think that it won't. And this last blow of Nathan losing his job just might be the "Deal-Breaker" for us to stay here...maybe it will be Anchors Aweigh for us, sooner than we ever thought...
Friday, August 31, 2007
Nathan was 'let go' from his job this morning...not fired, but they 'No longer need him' according to the owner. He got a wild hair up his wazoo and decided he needed to cut back and 'let go' 10 or so people, and unfortunately, Nathan is apparently expendable.
So now we are up sh*% creek without a paddle. We are already tight on money and now we will have even less money coming in until he or I can do something else, which it will likely fall on me since my schedule is less sporadic than his.
Wish us luck and keep your fingers crossed, we're sure going to need it.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
I have to say this is probably the first time in my life I have been able to wear such pants/skirts without 'decorating' them with something I am doing/eating.
I know it doesn't seem like much, but I was really excited!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
And I have also been feeling extreemly depressed lately...and scary thoughts are best not shared :(
My mom has to have open heart surgery the first week of September, and it is scary. Some of my family (who shall remain nameless...) don't seem to get the big deal that it is and that frustrates me. I mean, our mom could die...and they don't seem to care. So we haven't spent a lot of time with my side of the fam because of the tension and stress...I just don't need that right now. I feel bad because we haven't helped with their move as much as others have and as much as I feel was expected of us...but we had a choice to make - spend time with all the out of town siblings, spouses and kids we never see (for example I have 1 niece and 2 nephews I had never seen until this last couple weeks) or go help with the move and be around all the contention and mean-ness...we knew our choice would upset someone, but I had no idea there would be this amount of hurt feelings. I am not sure even what to do because I want to say things but I don't want to cause more hurt feelings and stress, especially with the surgery looming close...
In other news our only neoghbors that had any interest in knowing us....moved. Now we are stuck with white trash, and Mexicans (nothing wrong with that...they just do NOT want to be our friends :( ...sad)
In happier news our garden is doing fantastic! See:
This is all the stuff we picked out of the garden in ONE EVENING!! There are chili peppers and green peppers and yellow squash and several types of tomatoes and one lonely cucumber...our cucumbers are the only things that are not doing so hot...well, them and the butternut squash. It has been so nice to have fresh FREE produce to eat the last few weeks. Having a garden is sure paying off.
Well, I am off for now, hopefully my next entry won't be a month out.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
With that said, lets get to it.
I am kind of a HP freak...not so much that I would make a cloak and wand to bring with me to the movie or that I would name our children Harry, Ron & Hermione...but I do like the books, and some of the movies...in fact, in preparation for the Deathly Hallows next week I re-read ALL 6 previous books so it would all be fresh on my mind...and it only took a little under 2 weeks (nerd)...I was pretty excited for the book and movie to get released so close, it feels like double Christmas...except this would be like opening up a present of dog turd...
We went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (OotP) last night (opening day - nerd) and we waited in line for over an hour (nerd) so we could get good seats. I was excited but a little hesitant...after all, Goblet of Fire was massacred and I worried about OotP. Now let me say this: If you have not read any of the books you will like the movie, mostly. There is a feeling of choppiness and jumping too quick between scenes but overall it is ok on it's own merits...BUT if you have read the books (recently to remember details) the move will anger you...important things are left out...things that explain character's behavior, feelings, etc. AND it seems to only star Harry and Umbridge... all others could really be replaced by card-board cutouts...Ron, Hermione, the Weasley's, Dumbledore, Snape, Malfoy, Sirius, Lupin, Tonks (who was one of my favorite characters in the book), Percy...eeekkkk it made me angry.
I understand that films that are adaptations of books cannot possibly reflect EVERYTHING in the novel, and they won't please everyone because we all have pictures in our minds of how things should look and play out, but I hate it when directors and screen writers feel the need to "Put their stamp on it" (as Nathan says) and change it to 'feel like one of their movies'...
Friday, July 06, 2007
So if I were to ask you what you think I did on the 4th (in all the heat) your likely answer would have been "Spent time at Bear Lake - your favorite place on earth"...well you'd be wrong... (although I would have loved to be there, but not with all the people that were there)
Nathan and I woke up at 6am...went out to his dad's farm and got a load of huge boulders, brought them home, excavated by the fence and put in a flower bed...in the heat... ick! We then had a BBQ in the evening, but man I was tired and hot and onery (after working all day in the heat - who wouldn't be?!?)
The bad news is that the heat shows NO SIGN of leaving any time soon :(
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
I don't like going to Walmart much...you know, associating with commoners, etc... but I needed this little white fence they have to put up around my little flower beds to keep that retarded dog of ours and his HUGE CRATER feet out of them!
The garden is doing ok...well parts of it. All the beans and peas we planted didn't fare so well...in fact, a majority of them didn't even come up, and the ones that did got choked by Morning Glory and were all yellow and dying so we just pulled them up...So a list of the survivors:
3 Sweet Red Peppers
2 Green Peppers
2 Chili Peppers
4 Spaghetti Squash
1 Zuchinni Squash - which sadly enough may be on the way out :(
2 Butternut Squash
3 Straight Eight Cucumbers
2 Ice box Watermelon
1 Yellow Meat Watermelon
1 Big Beef Tomato
1 Super Fantasitc Hybrid Tomato
2 Roma Tomatoes
1 Cherry Tomato
4 Yellow Pear Tomatoes
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Now I know we don't have kids and so we are not experts on how to keep your kids behaved during church...but we have been to church with neices and nephews MANY times and seen MANY other parents with kids and have noticed a lot (afterall we weren't distracted by children, since we still don't have any). I remember our neices/nephews having little books to read and snacks and such...but they were (for the most part) generally well-behaved during church...now I know that you can't expect a small child to sit through over an hour of an adult meeting sitting perfectly still unless you have administered a tranquilizer before hand...and I know really young ones are tough...they are still learning the difference between indoor and outdoor voices and the have so much energy - those I understand... but having an all out battle with Lord of the Rings action figures or Soap Opera scale barbie happenings in the middle of the sacrament?!? Maybe, (and once again I am just speculating because of our lack of sacrament meeting parenting skills) just maybe those type of toys should be left at home...
I think parents should be able to teach their kids the importance and reverence of prayer...to sit quietly, fold their arms and NOT YELL during the appx 1.5min prayer....I remember Nathan's sister and hubby teaching their daughter to pray when she was LITTLE...like less than one year old! Now I know that kids that little don't understand all that is going on - but they learn quick and if they learn that this is important and special, they will cooperate most of the time...and then once they are older they will repect prayers because it is what they were ALWAYS taught to do...
I really tried today to go with an open mind, because I WANT to love going to church again...I miss looking forward to church, I did in Newport (for the most part - there were those days though...and the occasional psycho person, but overall...) If it is going to be like this I think I am going to pull my hair out ( and maybe strangle some parent who is participating in the Lord of the Rings battle or Barbie soap opera...)
Help me out here, those of you who have kids...is it really that hard to keep kids quiet during church meetings? Have any of you had experiences with noisy meetings? What did you do to not get distracted?
(Please don't think I am trying to be overtly rude...I AM NOT...and if it comes off that way I am sorry) :)
Friday, June 22, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
I did some research because I don't want our over-zealousness to burn us in the end. I got 6 books from the library and started reading...come to find out in California (where the twins are) a birthmother has 90 days to revoke consent for an adoption...are you freakin kidding me...?!?90 days!?!?? PLUS the girl is 14...and statistics have shown that the younger a birthmother is the more likely she is to keep the baby(or babies) and try to raise them - and the older (like older than 18,19) she is the more likely she is to have her baby (or babies) adopted... I have thought about this statistic so much and it is so suprising...and sad.
So we will not be pursuing these babies...if the birthmother wants to keep them (even if it is against what her family wants) I don't want her to give them to us and then change her mind 90 days later...I think that would just about kill me (us).
It also looks like the adoption thing will be put on the back burner for a bit...I am trying to pick up a second job to earn some money to work harder at paying off our debt so we will 'look better' financially for the application process...plus there is almost no way we could adopt while Nathan is still in school and I am working full time to put him through and pay the bills...
It is funny how things go in waves...we get so excited for something and then overnight it all changes. Like the night before last on the news I saw that taking a baby aspirin can aid in reducing miscarriage, buy thickening the lining of the uterus...and I got all excited and thought about buying a bunch of baby aspirin and then I thought...what's the use, until I get PCOS straightened out aspirin isn't going to help one bit.
Well I had better get back to work...I just needed to take a break, all the numbers were beginning to look the same.
tata for now...
Marie is such a dork...she was trying to get in the tent and tripped...sound like anyone else you know?!?
Adam and Nathan making an excellent breakfast over the fire. There is just something about cooking over a fire that makes it taste better... :)mmmmm
This is a picture taken off the boat ramp...I couldn't believe the color of the lake that day...I mean, it is always a pretty teal-ish, aqua blue...but this was just incredible...now I know why they call it the Caribbean of the Rockies!
When we got to the lake the picnic table had spider webs on it and I HATE spiders so I made Nathan and Adam carry it out into the lake to rinse it off... They were awfully good sports about it. :)
Right before we left the lake we took a few photos...the pic of the four of us was taken then. This is a photo of me, Nathan and my brother Brad...or B-rad as he likes to be called...we are just a bunch of nerds.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Aren't we so cute??
Monday, June 11, 2007
I was up every hour or so all night alternating 'ends' (for lack of a less graphic term)...I threw up everything I had eaten all day Sunday and through the night I had sipped on a Coke and ice chips, but ended up throwing them up too...
So my question is: how do I stay hydrated with the Stomach Flu...I am dying of thirst, but last night at one point while I thought I was safe I drank like 3oz of super cold water, and them puked it up within minutes...I've tried taking a Pepto, but I can't keep it down.
To add insult to injury...I got burned on my back. I did suncreen myself, but only once on my back, because we spent a lot of time in the car driving around the lake because the wind was blowing so hard...so I think that is making me extra thirsty...
So what do I do? Any home remedies out there? (It needs to be something I can do at work because I'm there today)
Thursday, June 07, 2007
We finally have health insurance!! The cards came on Friday and I looked it over, now I just need to make an appointment, but I have to find a good Dr. first.
It is kinda funny, I was so excited to get health insurance because it brought us one step closer to adoption, but if I stay home after we adopt (which I want to) then our insurance goes away ...and Nathan doesn't work enough hours during the school year to carry insurance at his job - or to make enough $ to pay the bills if I do stay home.
So for now it seems that we are no closer to adoption than we were a year ago :( Not to mention we have to come up with the $20K-$30K to do the adoption. We can go through our church for lots less but I have had friends wait for YEARS in their system, waiting to be 'chosen' by a birth mother...that's why I like foreign adoptions, once you're approved you just wait your turn. Not that I don't think people wouldn't like us, but I have checked out the competition and we are not comparable - on paper & photos at least - I mean, neither one of us have our degree, we're in heavy debt, I have mental problems, I'm fat, Nathan's bald...
In happy news, my friend Ryann's hubby came home from Iraq yesterday...she and her girls decorated their home all cute for his homecoming....you can check it out, just click on Ryann on the side menu. We met Ryann and Terry when we lived in Virginia Beach years ago and we have kept in contact. She even sent me flowers a couple months back when we lost the baby - she is so sweet and such a good friend. I got to hold her oldest, Em, when she was just days old...she was such a beautiful baby. It is crazy to see her so big now!
Well I need to get back to the grind...hope you all have a happy non-Grey's thursday.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
So hopefully within the next day or so it will clear up enough to take one.
If you get a sec, check out the link on the side menu about Jenny and Scott...Jenny is an old friend of mine from back in my drumline days...we were drummer chicks together...she moved to Oregon and got married to Scott and now they are hard core biker kids...and they are riding 5,000 to raise awareness for Thirst Relief. It is a pretty cool thing, I can't imagine spending months living off a bike and sleeping on the ground...they will be super buff by the end though!
I fear the morning glory is going to choke out our peas and beans in the garden...darned stuff just won't go away and we think we have it and it just comes back...grrr...
Well, off to bed I go - Winston needs his snuggle buddy :)
Monday, June 04, 2007
Blaine in his cute little chair...He is not even a year but has already figured out to turn on the charm for the camera - what a ham...
Bryce - the 'master chef' cooking burgers on the grill
Shanna and Blaine - he is a momma's boy - cute little stink
Brad and Nathan playing in the water - you can't see it too well, but Brad is trying to surf on a little inflatable boat ...nerd - this isn't the best picture, but it show how pretty the lake is so I had to use it :)
We spent yesterday at Bear Lake - one of my favorite places on earth - with my brother who just got married, his wife and baby, her sister and hubby and my other brother... We had SUCH a good time and Blaine (the baby) should be a fish, he was so stinkin cute playing in the water (which was FREEZING) and the sand.
After we left the lake they all came over to our place and we hung out in the gazebo and roasted marshmallows...I did pretty good in the burn department...only a bit pink on my legs and feet...my brother and poor Blaine got toasted.
But I got up this morning, well more like afternoon because it was around 12:15 when I joined the world of the living...and I thought about going to church, so we went and it was, well, honestly?? I didn't have that nice of a time...I tried with all my might to stay positive, but it just sucked too much. We'll have to try again in a week and see if it is better. I just hate the hypocrisy of people - the ones who spew religious sermons from their mouths and yet their daily actions are far from Christ-like... (not that I am perfect...far from it, mind you) People who think they are better than others JUST because of the church they go to on Sunday, THAT makes me nuts.
Anyway, enough of the vent...so we did get to see a couple that we hadn't seen since like Halloween....they adopted a little girl just a year ago (in fact she turned one this last week) and she is adorable and she sat on my lap for a bit and when I got home tonight Ann (the mommy) had sent me the links for some adoption agencies...there were 4 or 5 and I went through all of them and when I opened the link for the last one my heart started beating faster and my palms and feet got all sweaty and I got this anxious feeling in the middle of my tummy...all nervous/excited...
You know, I want a new car...I mean I really WANT a new car - and not just any car - a convertible...a Ford Mustang, Audi TT, or 325i BMW but I would take a baby over a new car in a heartbeat.