I am a mother

I went to church today.  On Mother's Day.  For the first time in SEVEN years.  I sat in my seat and hugged my wiggly little man, whispering prayers of gratitude and fighting back happy tears.  I got to thinking about last year on Mother's Day, how we thought we'd once again been passed-over for another family.  The pain of Georgia still fresh on our hearts, I sat on my couch in my pajamas, snuggled to Winston and ate my weight in chocolate...furnished by my wonderful parents and my sweet hubby.  There were many tears shed.  There was also THIS post.  

Eight days later I became a mother.

This past year has been nothing short of everything I'd hoped for in being a mother.  Of course there are rough days...where I get spit-up on and peed on and pooped on and food thrown at me...and the cranky days and sleepless nights and sticky everything and toys everywhere.  But I can honestly say that I have LOVED every minute of it.  Even today, as I held my sweet little guy who is teething, who went through FOUR diapers during church, who peed all over his pants (and the wall and me and the changing station) on change number three...even today I was grateful.  As I held him and stared at those little naked chubby legs with the upside down heart birthmark just near his knee...I was overcome with gratitude for the blessing of being a mother.  I hope I NEVER take it for granted. 

To you, my dear friends who ache for this blessing.  I love you.  My heart aches for you.  I know today is not the easiest day.  I sincerely HOPE with all the hope I can muster that soon you'll be able to hold the child for which your arms ache.  Keep your chin up and remember it is always darkest before the dawn.