Found

I have caught something.

It's all consuming and makes my heart race.

I find myself nervously bouncing my knees even as I write,

thinking of this thing that has captured me.

It feels like I have {finally} found myself amidst this fever.

Found the self that was hidden for so many years under painful scabs

of infertility and childlessness; under grief and pain.

That self who has finally broken free from the shadows

and let me know of her existence.

This fever that has now encapsulated me was brought by this new self.

This new self that I love;

for she found me.