Perfect Little Prophetic Epistle

Over the weekend Nathan and I made it a priority to listen to General Conference.  For those not familiar, the LDS Church holds a General Conference twice a year.  In both April & October a set of five 2-hour sessions are held where we are counseled by church leaders.  The Conference is held in Salt Lake City, Utah and broadcast all over the world, in many languages.  In the closing session on Sunday afternoon Elder Jeffrey R. Holland spoke about the Conference itself.  He said that if you listen with the Spirit, you will receive your own "Perfect Little Prophetic Epistle."  In other words, something the Lord meant for you to hear, that He knew you needed.  I'll have to admit that in other conferences I haven't always paid close attention and so many times I haven't come away with my own PLPE.  But this time my heart was very open, in large part to what's been going on in our lives as of late.  So Sunday morning when Elder Paul V. Johnson spoke (you can watch it HERE) I was ready to hear what {I needed} to hear.  He spoke about trials, which is not a new topic; but there was just something about his words that pricked my heart strings.  He spoke about the Crimson Trail in Logan Canyon, a difficult trail that Nathan and I have climbed before; and maybe that is part of why I connected so much with him as he spoke.  He mentions that the trail is difficult, but the hardest part is the last little piece.  I can vouch for that...it is steep and you can't see anything that suggests the effort is going to be worth it.  Elder Johnson said "The views of the canyon are hidden by the cliffs themselves".  There was a part of me on that hike that wanted to turn back...convinced we'd seen enough and couldn't possibly go any further.   It is difficult to see the big picture when you're stuck in the middle of something...especially if that something is difficult.  Elder Johnson agrees:

"In the midst of problems it's nearly impossible to see that the coming blessings far outweigh the pain, humiliation or heartbreak we may be currently experiencing."

But if you press on, just past that tough stretch the panoramic views of the canyon are spectacular...well worth the effort.  Elder Johnson then said:

"A pattern in the scriptures and in life shows that many times the darkest, most dangerous tests immediately precede remarkable events & tremendous growth."

I feel like in our lives, and more specifically in our adoption journey, that we are facing a horrible, painful, exhausting stretch.  Many times over the last few months, and especially the last week I have wanted to give up.  I felt convinced that we'd seen enough and couldn't possibly go any further.  So as I sat, listening to the words spill out of Elder Johnson's mouth I felt comfort.  I hold on to the hope that our remarkable events are not far away.  Yesterday was hard again; and I found myself wanting to give in to the crushing hopelessness I felt.  I prayed for strength as I fell asleep last night on a tear stained pillow, and I woke today to sunshine streaming through my window and feelings of comfort in my soul.

I want to leave you with my Perfect Little Prophetic Epistle...which you can hear for yourself if you want.  It's at about the five minute mark in this video.  The trick for me is remembering this while in the depths of despair...and I'm working on that.

"Time after time we see marvelous blessings on the heel of great trials."