Sunday, April 21, 2013

Infertility Awareness Week

This is National Infertility Awareness Week (click on the pic above for more info, events, etc).  

Infertility is something that is very close to my heart.  It is a horrific thing that we have suffered through for many, many years.  While I am SO VERY GRATEFUL for my dear sweet Miles; there are still days where the sting of being infertile comes up and bites me in the butt.  It will prick the most tender underbelly of my heart and make me wonder about the future.  Wonder and hope and mourn.  

I think a lot about something a LOT of people told us when we got Miles.  "Just wait, now you'll get pregnant".  First - DO. NOT. EVER. day that to someone who is adopting.  If you want to think it that's fine...and if you know a cousin/aunt/hairdresser/friend/whoever that it happened to...that's awesome.  But keep that information to yourself.  It is hurtful.  It belittles the adoption process to be no more than a fertility treatment to get "real" kids.  Also - please never say "real kids" or "one of your own" to someone who has adopted.  Miles IS a real kid...and he IS my own.  I know what you MEAN...but listen to it again and let your heart hear how hurtful it will sound to tender young ears who will just hear that they are NOT their mother's REAL OWN child.  Ouch.

Anyway - I've been thinking of this thing you should never say, that has been said to us, and I laugh.  Here I sit with an almost 2 year old who was adopted.  Since that adoption we have done nothing to prevent getting pregnant.  And my womb is still empty...and I suspect it will remain in that state for the remainder of my days.  And while I have come to an acceptance of the reality that I will never bear biological children...that doesn't take away the heartache of knowing {I} cannot give Miles a sibling.  We can plan and prepare and hope and take all the necessary steps to adopt another child but we may never be chosen by a birthmother.  That is a reality that could very well be our own. 

So during this week I would ask you, my dear blog readers, to take the effort to reach out to an infertile friend and just ask "How are you?  I love you.  I'm here for you if you need me."  Don't let your fear of hurting them ruin a friendship.  They need you.  They need love.  It's a hard enough journey as it is, and feeling abandoned just makes it that much harder. 

1 comment: said...

So nice blogger