Sunday, May 08, 2011

To the not-mothers

This post is for all those out there who are not mothers. 

The world will tell you that it's selfish to feel sad on Mother's Day.  They tell you that you should celebrate your own mother and not think of yourself.  I am here to tell you that it is ok to be sad on Mother's Day, especially if your empty arms ache for children yet to come, or for children that you no longer have.  The world will tell you that it's an insult to your mother to be sad this day.  I am here to tell you that my sadness for today has NOTHING to do with my love for my mother.   I {love} my mother.  I love my grandmothers, my aunts and my pseudo-mothers, my sister-in-laws and my friends who are mothers.  I will always treasure the wonderful example that the women in my life set for me.  I celebrate them and love them...but that love doesn't heal the painful longing I have to be counted among them. 

One year ago I quietly celebrated that I was an expectant mother...through adoption.  I rejoiced in the thought of never having to suffer through another not-a-Mother's Day.  So on this, my 7th Not-a-Mother's Day my earnest prayer and hope is that there won't be an 8th. 


Janie said...

I thought of you frequently yesterday and mentioned to my husband a couple of times that I hoped you were celebrating mothers day. You deserve it - you have a a mothers heart. And I pray too that soon you will have your hands full as well

Happy Herrons said...

Sigh.. I was thinking of you this weekend. Sending love and hopes for a great year. Any word on Vegas?

Que and Brittany's Adoption Journal said...

I don't think a lot of people understand that the best thing to do is to keep to themselves the "advice" to forget about our own circumstances on Mothers' Day. We need that grace to grieve in our own way. Even the Savior, who was acutely aware that Lazarus would live again, wept with his family, because they were grieving his loss.

That being said, I also hope this was your last not-a-Mother's Day. Thinking of you!

Sheila said...

Love you Holly.