I was reading a good friend's blog tonight and she has also recently had large changes in her life including a cross-country move. She had some great ideas/comments and it got me thinking. I think as humans we feel this innate need to look ahead. After church today (yes, I went to church...we've been six weeks in a row. Don't faint, and don't check the skies for flying pigs) I was talking with another woman about infertility. She asked how long we had been trying for a baby and as I heard myself say five years, it hit me. I have spend FIVE. YEARS. waiting for something. That time was spent always thinking into the future. Waiting until I ovulated, waiting until I saw those two pink lines, waiting until my next Dr's appointment. I catch myself saying "Until..." all the time.
Until we get pregnant.
Until I find a job.
Until we move.
Until we have a homestudy done.
Until our house sells.
Until we are out of debt.
Until I lose weight.
Until I have curtains in my living room.
You know what? I'm tired of 'Until-ing' myself into disappointment. If I am always waiting for something I am going to miss everything. From here on out I am going to focus more on enjoying the now. I know it will be tough, but I know it will make a difference.