I love school!! I have loved being back on campus the last few days... :) Although I am generally the oldest one in all my classes and I am older than one of my teachers...he he...
I decided to drop my calculus class - mostly because my teacher can hardly speak English and all the other sections of the course are full...so I will wait until Spring semester...I am not racist or anything I just find it hard to concentrate on learning CALCULUS (yuck!) when I am trying so hard just to understand what my teacher is 'actually saying'...
Even without calc I think I will have a busy schedule - my Economics teacher actually told us on the first day that he didn't expect anyone in the class to get above a 90%...talk about discouraging...and my International Politics/Relations teacher warned us about the work load and suggested strongly that we consider that and drop the class if necessary...so I think I will still be plenty busy.
Having a laptop in class has been SO great...I can take much more efficient notes now because I can type faster than I can write! I just have to make sure to get to class early enough to sit by a power outlet so my battery doesn't go dead!
Work is ok...I just wish I didn't have to work at all...maybe someday...or maybe I could work somewhere where what YOU do is valuable and important to the organization - you don't just clock in, sell/make stuff and clock out..
I am slightly worried...I am almost 2 weeks late and I haven't taken a test yet because it would be not so good to be pregnant right now because we have NO health insurance...and I worry that it is positive and I will lose the baby again - I don't have any symptoms except EXTREME fatigue, which could very well be from starting school this week...to give you an example of how tired I am - I came home from school Tuesday and thought I would take a quick nap before doing homework - I fell asleep at about 5:45pm and woke up Wednesday at 8:30am...that is some sleep! And I slept SOLID the whole night, which is rare, I usually toss and turn. I wondered if anyone else out there had NO symptoms but was actually pregnant??
I miss Rhode Island...simply put. I miss the friends we made and restaurants we used to eat at and our congregation at church there and the smell of the air and sound of the harbor at night...all of it... I was having a really tough time Sunday and at one point a woman came and sat next to me and asked how my new job was (I was shocked anyone actually even remembered) and how we were liking it - I could barely hold back the tears when I said we were having a hard time adjusting...we both have family here but we have no friends - well we have met one couple at church, but they are not close friends (not yet, hopefully eventually)...no one we can call to go to a movie or come over for dinner...and it is not for lack of trying - we just don't fit in the normal 'mold' for couples our age here...we have no kids where most have at least 1...and they all congregate together and we feel excluded...also several things that should be happening at church aren't...the leader of the Men's group has yet to introduce himself to Nathan - and we should be having monthly visitors - both for me individually and for us as a family - and none yet... I was trying to schedule choir practice and I made an announcement that we would rehearse right after church and a couple of women 'ganged' up on me and said they had always practiced at 4:30 and that's how it would be...I reminded them that I sent a survey to all interested choir members to find out the best time to rehearse...and I went with that - well one woman actually had the audacity to say "We have children to get home and get settled after church, you don't understand" - If I wouldn't have been choking back tears at that point I would have quipped back something like: "I'm sorry, I don't understand, maybe if my baby wouldn't have died....." I don't know what else to do here to try and feel included...a lot of our neighbors are Mexican - and they keep to themselves - so they act like we don't exist...we'll pass them on the sidewalk when we walk Besta and we'll say "evenin'" or "mornin'" and they will just turn around and act as if we said nothing...and then all the non-Mexican families in our neighborhood seemed to have their little 'clicks' and we are not invited...any advice?
1 comment:
Just a quick comment. Yes, I did not know that I was pregnant with Emilie and could not figure out why I was so darned tired. I was used to running three miles a day and went to work out one day and couldn't even run one mile. Ended up willing myself to walk three but had no clue as to why I was so tired. I don't know if my story should give you hope or not but I'll be thinking the best for you!
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