Turmoil

I wonder what it is in human nature that makes us always want what we don't have - we seem to think that the 'grass is always greener'...better job, better school, better house, better car, better family, better climate...aaargh.

I LOVE our house - but I miss Rhode Island, now I KNOW that I wasn't 100% happy when we were there - but it seems as though the things that bothered me then have resolved themselves and a whole new set of problems have cropped up...for example: In RI we rarely thought about finances - and I would dare say almost never worried about them. But here money is ALWAYS on my (our) mind(s)...worrying about having enough $ to pay the mortgage and the car insurance and still buy groceries...we still do not have health insurance because it is just too expensive...The Navy still owes us $$$ from our move out (we paid upfront and they reimburse us - and a 2800 mile move is NOT cheap) and the GI Bill hasn't kicked in yet - which has strapped us SO tight...I get wicked heartburn from the whole thing.

Plus - our congregation at church in Newport was awesome...we had so many close friends there who really cared about us...and I miss them terribly. I e-mail back and forth and call, but it just isn't the same. Now here at church we have got a large group of very unfriendly people in this congregation...we even pulled aside one of the clergymen on Sunday and expressed our concern and do you know what he said?: "This actually isn't the first time someone has come to us with this concern."....HELLO!?! Doesn't that send up BIG RED FLAGS?! So right now we hate going to church - and Sunday is the only day I have off (between work and school) so it kinda sucks to dread it...

But on the bright side - I do love being back in school - and I love having a cute fluffer cat to snuggle and a dog to walk and I have the world's best loving-handsome-spider killing-litterbox scooping-put up with all my crap-husband. So I guess I'm doing alright.