Well...no luck on the job front. I did have one offer but I felt like I shouldn't take it....so I didn't...Nathan is still working his 2 jobs, bless his heart, and I have 2 more interviews on Tuesday. Hopefully something will turn up soon because I NEED something to occupy my time. Being at home all day with no one else around and no kids to take care of and NO friends to call taxes my thoughts and feelings. I have been unsuccessful in making any friends yet..everyone my are seems to have at least a few children so we don't have much in common and they are super busy with their kids...
Nathan is gone from 6am to 10pm so I am REALLY alone. My little brother proposed to his pregnant girlfriend last week which is good...I am still having a really hard time being around her...if my baby would have lived I would only be 2 months behind her...It is very heart wrenching to see him rub her belly and talk about taking the baby places once he's born...and my mom is throwing her a shower in a couple weeks...I just don't know if I can go...I love her and I love my brother but the pain I would feel by being around her being showered with gifts and ooo-ing and awe-ing over her 'pregnantness'...would just be too much for me to bear. Wanting something for so long, then loosing it has been the cruelest thing I have ever been forced to endure. I have faith that I will have children someday...I just am tired of waiting and being patient.
Since moving I have run into many old 'friends' (more acquaintances) from High School...ALL of which have had children...at least one. It has been tricky, dancing around the questions...if someone says "Oh, you've been married for four and a half years, how many children do you have?" again I am going to scream and poke their eyes out.
Ok.ok...calm down. I think I should go get something to eat...I get a little testy when my blood-sugar drops...
Well bye for now, I'll keep you posted.
Holly
No comments:
Post a Comment