One step forward, two steps back

So I have been doing really well with the whole 'not-having-a-baby-but-being-around-pregnant-women-and babies-all-the-time' thing...and I have been having a great time with my new cute nephew, Blaine...but I hit a bump in the road today.

I was at work (baby place) and about an hour before closing a girl came in with two guys (hubby and brother) to pick up her crib she had ordered...now as a salesperson I am trained to 'engage' the customer and the best way to do so with a pregnant woman is to ask her due date...hers was October 9th - when she said it I felt as if I was sucker punched...that was the due date (that and the 8th) that I was given to me by my dr's office when I was pregnant. I had to try really hard to finish our conversation and then move away so I wouldn't cry right then and there...I couldn't even look at her - I just saw her pregnant belly and wished it was mine...wished the crib she was picking up was mine and wished that I was still pregnant...

I was upset (obviously) but for 2 reasons...the first being the obvious longing for my dead baby (sorry so blunt) - but the second, I felt bad because I had come so far with the whole thing since February...I mean if you would have told me then that I would be working at a baby store and oogling over my nephew I would have knocked your lights out...so I feel as if I have taken a few steps back today - and that sucks...